


Beyond your Star

by alixiecivet



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: 20 years maybe I'll die if I'm lucky, Author works two jobs and is an insomniac and apologizes for her poor editing, F/F, I dont mind harsh words, It helps me, It will be done 20 years from now, Like this is so damn slow burn i'm even mad, Multi, Other, Please offer your criticisms, Slow Build, There will be a sequel that continues on into the semi-canon present (w/ CGs), When I say sporadic updates I mean it, pearlidot - Freeform, spearmint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 00:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 70,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alixiecivet/pseuds/alixiecivet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*INDEFINITE HIATUS. </p><p>An alternative glimpse into the life of Homeworld gems before Rose's rebellion. Pearl has been abandoned by her master and dropped off to do hard labor with the technicians. Peridot, staying low-key in a world that never fails in mediocrity, finds herself the begrudging acquaintance of the new outcast. A quiet, often confusing, often challenging -but always surprising- relationship develops between the two gems, both of whom will have a very difficult time seeing themselves outside their given roles. As their friendship evolves,the world they inhabit experiences a shift of power. Yellow Diamond  is taking her time preparing for an era that will be unlike anything the gems could imagine. Peridot and Pearl, as well as some other familiar gems, have their role in the advent of her rise to power. A rise that may come effortless at first, but prove more volatile than anticipated. </p><p>SPORADIC UPDATES</p><p>This began as a prompt from tumblr user askthedelightfulchildren on my Steven Universe blog, pearlscookies, for a Homeworld AU. Please feel free to offer criticism or corrections</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beyond Your Star I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Diamond and a high ranking gem discuss Pearl's forthcoming fate. Yellow has some very unpopular opinions about their empire and its gems, and she is reminded of those things that disappoint her as Dark Emerald, Pearl's current master, explains her reasons for wanting to rid of the servant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2/5/16 update: changed around some details. I mention the rebellion rumors going around that becomes a central point later in the story. Fixed some Yellow Diamond details. 
> 
> Meh.

Beyond your Star

“Pearl, come.” Dark Emerald held out her hand to the demure figure behind the curtain. The other took the deep green hand and stepped out into the salon, where an iridescent, towering harp was set in the center of the room.

“Play. The one you made up just the other day.” 

Pearl dipped into a gentle curtsey, and then proceeded to the instrument, settling down to play. 

Dark Emerald turned away, walking over to where Yellow Diamond sat. The diamond’s jutting shoulders were hunched, both hands under her chin, staring at the pearl run her fingers along each string with effortless grace. Dark Emerald pushed her long black curls from her face, and reached down to a goblet of hot amber.

“She’s a stunning specimen.” The amber met the green lips. Down the gem’s throat. A laugh.

Yellow Diamond glanced at her a moment, then back at Pearl.

“So what exactly is so unacceptable about her?”

“You know, there’s been a shift in the winds these days. Things are different with the populace. There’s less trust. It’s frightening actually, to think that our empire could be threatened.”

“Is it?” Yellow Diamond leaned back, draping her arm over the back of the divan. She still eyed the pearl, but then turned her attention to Dark Emerald.

“I have never felt uneasy about a pearl. This one… she can be eerie.” Dark Emerald glanced back at Pearl, then back at Yellow Diamond.

“Eerie?” Yellow Diamond couldn’t help a depreciative smirk. 

Dark Emerald sighed.

“Oh, you know. She does whatever I ask, she does it to perfection She’s so eager to please. But she’s also intelligent. Very clever. Suspiciously clever,” Dark Emerald paused when Yellow Diamond looked as if she might laugh, and then continued, now frowning, “Every other pearl I have owned, every other pearl I’ve known since they went into production, they all have singular states of mind. They’re simple. Artistic, talented, and beautiful, but _simple._ She wants to know everything, she wants to talk to me. It was so endearing at first. I even thought how lucky I am, to have a pearl who is almost a proper companion, almost like a friend. But I’ve come to my senses. She’s, either consciously or unconsciously, trying to be more than a pearl. She wants to be like us. And that’s exactly the thinking that starts a rebellion.”

Dark Emerald seemed to be waiting for Yellow Diamond to have a specific reaction. But her expression remained unchanged.

“I suppose.” Yellow languidly shrugged.

A tinge of frustration colored Dark Emerald’s next words.

“She reads my scrolls, runs her fingers and her tears over our wars. Like she’s plotting.”

Yellow Diamond raised an eyebrow.

“She cries?” The plotting part was ridiculous and she ignored it. But crying. That was interesting.

“When she thinks I am not looking. Instead of confronting her, I kept an eye on her for repeat behavior. And she continued, continues, to go through my things, looking for something… thinking. Just the other day she read the entire record of the Pluto war. I wracked my brain as to what could be so tear-inducing about that. But then it struck me: She was _saddened_ by it.”

“I wonder what part.”

“I don’t. And I don’t like her wanting to know. The studies of a pearl are limited to the arts. But here she is, reading about wars and combat and diamond who knows what else. I fear she questions me.”

“Does one question more than the other?”

Dark Emerald wasn’t keen on the nonchalant dismissal. Yellow Diamond had a reputation for being condescending. But in reality, it was hard to read the Diamond Authority gem. She could be anything from condescending to sympathetic, and it wouldn’t be at all clear. Dark Emerald took to assuming Yellow Diamond had eyes looking down rather than level. 

“She’s always wanting to know how things work. She’s done repairs before technicians have come to take care of such matters. This is perhaps the worst of her offenses. She’s learning. Which is how things end up sour. Don’t you recall what happened to the Emerald of Blue Diamond’s court? Her Pearl turned on her. Of course the pearl was shattered before doing harm. But “isolated” incidences do, eventually, repeat.”

Yellow Diamond examined her fingernails. Of course she remembered. And it wasn’t the first time a pearl had turned against its master. And it wasn’t just pearls. Though, this was uncommon. More often tainted specimens were disposed of before completion as sentient beings. Service gems had very specific roles to fulfill. Deviation from those roles threatened a greater balance of the Diamond-controlled Empire.

Yellow Diamond chose not to address any of the emerald’s points. They were moot.

“So you’ll be disposing of her then.”

“Of course. I would rather things have turned out different. She’s been mine for so many years.”

“Yes. You know,” Yellow Diamond kept her eyes on Pearl, “My pearl is exceptionally pleasing. But I have always admired yours. The other Diamonds, some are jealous.”

Dark Emerald chose to make an exception against her usual conclusion that of Yellow Diamond was being sarcastic, as she never turned down flattery. And Yellow Diamond, it turned out, was actually being sincere. Dark Emerald didn’t care.

“Oh, so I have heard! Well, it is a shame then. Although I usually have the _best_ pearls cultivated for me, so I’m sure my replacement will be just as stunning. Definitely the talk of the Authority.” Dark Emerald laughed arrogantly.

Yellow Diamond let it go. 

Some of her peers, most of her peers, were spoiled, overly self-indulgent morons.

They were in perpetual panic over being usurped. They feared, and that they feared at all made Yellow Diamond question that they were any better than the lower classes. Yellow Diamond was not afraid. She had control, and knew how to navigate her world. Yellow Diamond craved more from her empire. More than higher and higher walls built around a palace.

The others didn’t seem to understand the potential of the lower classes. Yes, they were successfully managed in each role, and fulfilled their purposes as servants, militants, technicians, laborers, but the higher classes did not move beyond this level of rule. Becoming closer their warriors, their dirty poor, a control that spanned beyond basic fear was waiting. The lower classes could adore their empire. They could be a slave to it, all without force. Yellow Diamond had invested her efforts in expanding the limits of others. She was manipulative without any suspicion from those being manipulated. There would be a time this method would become the basis of the Diamond Empire. An empire that would be her own.

An example of this came just the other day.

She was in the process of collecting a handful of gems to work with her personally. Her model subjects. She had not been purposely eyeing any of the technicians- she just so happened to be surveying the hangar with an Onyx, to see if the crafts were being built to satisfaction. This was a special project. The launch of a new kindergarten. Those ships would be carrying valuable, essential cargo. 

In one of the ships there were peridots testing on-board data handling. There seemed to be an issue with communication between this components and another of the ships’ systems. They attempted several ideas that were unsuccessful. The onyx seemed annoyed and ignored them, and moved on to another control room to address her fellow diamonds. But Yellow Diamond purposely fell behind, unseen by the technicians behind a partially built entrance. She was intrigued by their failed problem-solving, waiting for the moment they would actually do something remotely useful.

Another Peridot, working alone on a separate holographic device, kept turning her attention to the others as she worked, making annoyed expressions, and seeming to do her work without effort.

The other technicians had moved on to another part of the ship, talking about returning to the problem after some more thorough brainstorming. Although now gone, Yellow Diamond become interested in the lone technician. She was a particularly short, scrawny Peridot, whose resting expression was one of the most disinterested, uninviting expressions Yellow Diamond had ever seen. The unusual gem had waited until the other technicians left, and then, quite furtively, found her way to the OBDC. Yellow Diamond watched with great amusement as the Peridot examined the system briefly before attacking the hologram panel with a series of code. Immediately, the OBDC flickered with life, and the rest of the system hummed with life. The Peridot examined her work, narrowing her eyes. She then, with great caution, careful not to be seen, disappeared into another part of the ship.

Minutes later, the other technicians had returned, baffled as to why the system was suddenly working,

That peridot seemed to be purposely keeping low-key amongst the other technicians. But why? 

It was perhaps a genius strategy. Not to be noticed. Not to have her intelligence utilized for further utilitarian rather than personal uses. It preserved her freedom. Or what a peridot could expect of freedom.

Yellow Diamond knew immediately that she wanted that peridot. But in due time. Yellow Diamond had her own strategy.

How none of the other higher class gems understood the value of their subjects confounded Yellow Diamond. But in the end she didn’t mind. It only made her plans easier to enact.

Andesines, sodalities, larimars and other lower class gems kept the empire running. Those specimens who displayed deviance were either terminated or set to work as laborers- the lowliest of positions. Those gems cleared debris and handled harmful substances leftover from weapon production. They put in place the foundations for gem cities, risking cracked gems or shattered fates. She did believe in this practice. Wholly. She hoped to stumble upon more anomalous gems. Although it would be unlikely in those rankings.

“Well,” Dark Emerald smiled, “if you have any other ideas, I was going to leave her with the obsidians working in the assemblage of ship materials.”

“At the hangar?” Yellow Diamond was yanked from her thoughts.

“Oh, you know. They work the cutting lasers and handle all the wiring too dangerous for the technicians to handle. I thought she would like that. Putting things together.”

Gems who worked with such raw materials did some of the hardest of labor. They didn’t tinker with just wiring and laser cutting. They handled industrial machinery that required minimal intelligence to control. But this simple work came at a price. Numerous accidents damaged workers in this division, crushing them or getting their gems cracked from improper handling, lack of alertness from fatigue . It was not technician’s work at all. Yellow Diamond wanted to laugh. Whatever picture Dark Emerald had in her head about what went on in the aeronautics hangars must be painfully idyllic. Her pearl was better off dead.

Yellow Diamond, again, let such stupidly pass. It wasn’t worth explaining.

“No. Do as you see best, DE.”

“Then it’s done. I’ll rid of her tomorrow, before my new pearl is ready. Sad. What a waste.”

Pearl, not able to hear a word either spoke from where she sat playing her song, gave Dark Emerald an adoring smile.

“Yes,” Yellow Diamond rested her chin in the palm of her hand, “what a waste.”


	2. Beyond your Star II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is holed up in a ship control panel trying not to be seen doing extra work. Dark Emerald leaves Pearl with one of the engineers, and she is immediately put to work. Peridot is just waiting for everyone to leave so she can go home unseen.

The hangar was groaning with metal bending and forming the skeletons of ships. The sound of equipment being transferred from the garages, propulsion valves and thrusters rumbling. Sparks shot from unfinished fuel engines and ship interiors. Cables and wires, weighing hundreds of pounds, were suspended above technicians mulling over connecting mainframes and ship controls.

The hangar spanned for miles. Separated in units.

In unit 07, Peridot was hunched in a control panel beneath a magnetic suspension generator, ripping out the optics from an incorrectly installed drive. She had caught the mistake, made by not just one other peridot, but three, and could not walk away from the glaring error. It pinched something in her consciousness, an annoying buzzing in her ear. She furiously did the repair, small enough to wedge into the narrow opening, further hidden by hanging cables and wiring yet to be attached to the ship.

“Moronic, dirt-brained clods. Why bother having such incompetent gems? I could do it myself. I could do all of this myself.” She shoved cables from her view of the instrumentation that had been improperly installed and programmed. An electrical short, a result of the lackadaisical work, sent sparks shooting against her visor, blinding her sight. She lost her grip on the narrow railing and popped out from the panel. There were cables that she managed to grasp, barely saving her from a roughly twenty foot drop.

“Arghhh!” she let out a puff of air before hoisting herself back into the panel, squeezing into a secure enough position to keep working. She looked down, then back up. The things that she did. For the Empire.

Peridot spent more time in the hangar and on the ships than she did anywhere else. Other than her capsule. She hardly walked the streets of the capitol. Most of the peridots socialized between shifts, with other peridots or laterally ranked gems. But Peridot had managed to avoid these activities, and kept a low-enough profile to be forgotten, but not low enough that anyone question why she behaved that way. This was all she could ask for in her position, in her existence. She did not have any plans of defiance against her superiors, anyway. Peridot was only focused on her work, and constantly improving her abilities. She had never thought of any specific purpose for her hidden genius. Although the approval of her superiors did feed a tendency toward conceit.

Peridot was young for a gem. She had emerged just short of a thousand years ago. From the beginning, she realized her capabilities, and at first excelled in her class to find herself where she currently was, a position that took other peridots much longer to achieve. Along the way, she learned what would come of her continuing down the path of prodigy. So she paced herself, and eventually she only flaunted her intelligence now and then because she couldn’t help herself. Approval was addicting. Most of the time, though, she saved her best self for herself. Her mind was always humming with ideas and code and equations and a flood of anything to the intergalactic rifts in space-time to solutions for the inconsistent opening and closing her neighbor’s archaic capsule entrance (she had offered to repair the mechanism countless times, but the moonstone gem always turned down the offer. Why, Peridot could not imagine. But it drove her mad to hear it and know that it would be forever broken). Peridot didn’t really know how to quiet her mind, or know if it could quiet at all. Either way, she preferred the reclusion. She sustained a detached, wholly productive life, and it in turn sustained her.

She, of course, feared her superiors and the Diamond Authority.

Everyone was afraid.

So they held on to whatever rank they had, and did their best to stay there.

Her sector’s hangar had quieted. For a while, she only heard the sounds of the lower service gems doing clean-up, and the more hushed sounds of maintenance on their equipment. Not much later there was a scuffling of boots and voices.

She froze. It sounded like an onyx’s voice, others that she did not recognize. The conversation was muffled from where she was positioned, but she could still hear what they were saying.

Hopefully they would move on soon. She was minutes away from finishing her work on the panel, and then she could leave, and go home to her capsule where her own projects waited.

“I’m not so sure I understand how she will fit in here.”

“I don’t think I explained very well. She likes to assemble and disassemble all manner of tech. You can use her for something, I’m sure.”

“…what we do here requires extensive knowledge that I strongly disbelieve is possible for her to understand. I would suggest work with the obsidians, but look at her. She’s a soda straw. Useless there.”

Peridot crinkled her nose. What were they talking about?

“What are you saying to me, exactly?”

“I am saying, I would rather you dump your defective plaything somewhere else.”

There was a long silence. Some shuffling.

“What exactly has given you the idea that you can speak to me with such disrespect?”

“…”

“I asked you a question, engineer.”

“I did not mean to be disrespectful, Dark Emerald.”

“I doubt the sincerity of your response to my question.”

There was an emerald in the hangar.

Disposing of something.

A servant?

“Dark Emerald, you perhaps misunderstand the work of the obsidians here. They are laborers. They do not ‘make’ anything. The better of them do maintenance, which requires some skill, at least for repetitive tasks, but they are as much laborers. Your pearl-”

The emerald’s tone escalated from annoyance to anger.

“I am not really concerned with that. I want to leave her here. She will stay here.”

“… but of course.”The onyx had finally conceded.

“You heard him, Pearl. Go. You won’t see me again. But you’ll be fine.”

A pearl.

Why in the Diamond Rule would anyone leave a pearl with technicians?

Emeralds, Peridot concluded, were more dirt-brained than her inept peers. She didn’t believe in misrepresented encounters. It was final, in her mind, that every single emerald was dust in their gem skull.

“… don’t cry, Pearl. I have to go. You’ve been good all these years. Don’t disappoint me any more than you already have by spoiling this goodbye.”

Peridot couldn’t hear anything for a few minutes. She assumed it was the spoiled farewell.

“She is no longer mine, but take care of her. For as long as she lasts.”

“I will definitely make use of her.”

Footsteps fading. Peridot waited.

The onyx seemed to be alone now with the pearl. Another long silence. Then, a rough voice.

“You trash. I have that insufferable emerald on my back because of you. You like to build things? I don’t care. You clean up all this debris. I’ll work you as hard as any of them. And if you can’t keep up, you’re out on the streets. And just know, out there, no one will want you.”

Furious footsteps fading, and the fading voice of the onyx calling back.

“If you touch anything, break anything, I don’t care what that emerald does. I’ll have you crushed in a turbine.”

Then she was gone.

The longer Peridot stayed in the panel, the more likely someone would find her there.

She waited for the steps of the Pearl, or for any indication that she was moving at all. Peridot heard none of that. But she did hear painfully discreet sobs. So quiet, Peridot had to listen with effort.

The Pearl wasn’t going anywhere.

Peridot made a low utterance of disgust, and felt it safe to as quickly as she could finish the panel. The part of the hangar where she was had emptied during the exchange of the pearl. She had some opportunity to get away unseen. Her hands worked angrily, and she decided she not just disliked everyone even more, but hated them. Especially, at that moment, hated the sniveling object beside the ship.

It was time to leave. She figured the abandoned accessory wouldn’t say anything. It would take some effort to climb down, and Peridot realized the way up had been much easier. She tried using the cables, pulling them further out so that she could drop to the floor. They didn’t reach low enough.

Peridot snarled. Loudly.

She could let go and just fall. But that would be unnecessarily painful.

She was going to have to fall.

She let out another snarl.

Peridot looked down, calculating her next move

She was surprised to find that someone was just below her. A lean, pale figure looked up with slightly inquisitive, blinking eyes. Eyes where leftover tears let out.

“Ughhhhhh..! Great. This is just great. “

The pearl continued to stare.

What is she doing? What a blank face.

“Hey. Get out of the way!”

The pearl stepped backward, but continued staring.

Peridot decided it was best to ignore her.

“Diamond, I knew pearls were dense but you are a model clod. No wonder she didn’t want you.” Peridot was struggling. Although, at this point, it was mattering less and less.

Peridot gave up. She was about to let go, but the pearl made a slight, panicked sound. It startled Peridot.

“WHAT?” Peridot glared at her.

The pearl looked down. She seemed reluctant to speak, but pearls were made to respond to any inquiries by a superior. That had counted as an inquiry.

“…you were going to fall.”

“I am trying to get down. You are aren’t helping.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Ugh.”

Peridot wanted to order the pearl off to the work she had been given, but something else in her was intrigued. She had never been near a pearl before. The lesser gems didn’t have the resources to have pearls, or for that matter, any servant beings made for them. Once, there was a Turquoise who had come upon a pearl. In other districts, too, she heard of some lower gems able to have their own. She wondered what it would be like to have such an object. An aesthetically pleasing servant who did whatever was asked.

But who would want a defective pearl?

“…are you falling yet?”

“Does it LOOK like I’m falling?”

Pearl placed her fingers over her mouth, trying to hide a perhaps embarrassed expression. She didn’t answer, though.

OK…

Finally, Peridot let go.

The completion of her fall confused her.

She had braced for the cement hangar floor, but instead, she was wrapped tightly in someone’s arms, held against a soft, frail chest, and felt the shock of the impact taken in by the body under her. Warm hands grasped behind her head. What was this? This close to something else that was alive? The body had fallen backward, but then stood still holding Peridot. No really processing what was happening, Peridot looked up as the arms around her loosened, and she found she was staring into very large, blue eyes. Long peach hair brushed Peridot’s face. But it wasn’t in any way annoying. It was… pleasant. The cheeks of her rescuer bloomed a faint blue. Peridot felt her own involuntary blush darken her face, and that’s when she realized what had happened.

“Put me down!” Peridot was unable to yell, even though she kept telling herself to.

Anger did not surface because it was not there.

Pearl managed to gracefully place her back on the floor, despite the small gem squirming in her grasp. Peridot stood back and waved away Pearl, as if the other were covered in offending material.

“I apologize. But you would’ve been hurt.” The pearl looked disturbed.

Peridot felt herself blushing again, both at what the pearl was saying and at what the pearl was like up-close. There wasn’t another being Peridot could compare to the sentient thing in front of her. Much taller than Peridot, she had to look up at the pearl. All she saw was… what? Peridot could not identify what she was seeing or reading. It made her uneasy, but among many contradicting feelings it also drew her in. Did gems have a word for it? For something that was not threatening, condescending, or deceptive, and most of all, not stupid, but also not understanding?

The pearl did not seem empty at all, as Peridot had imagined, and was instead rife with something that had no name.

“…”Peridot didn’t realize she was gawking, an expression that became more and more puzzled.

Pearl thought she might help the small gem figure out whatever it was she was trying to figure out. She leaned down on one knee, now level with Peridot.

“I am at the service of any gem,” Pearl thoughtfully brought a closed fist to her mouth, “I no longer belong to anyone.”

Peridot crawled out from the mental labyrinth where she had been lost.

“…why did that emerald get rid of you?” A good, solid question. Not at all complicated.

Pearl winced, and slightly lowered her head.

“I think it is because I read too much.”

Peridot raised an eyebrow. That was anticlimactic.

“Because you read too much? What?”

Pearl looked away, trying to hide embarrassment.

“Pearls are not supposed to learn. Pearls are not supposed to behave like gems. And yet, I tried. But I didn’t mean to.” Pearl lowered her head, “I not a gem, not a pearl. I am defective. I am nothing.”

Peridot was trying hard to stop the sudden connection she was making with Pearl’s words, and she successfully, for now, shoved away the emotional twinge that she almost experienced. But she couldn’t stop herself from feeling bad for the disgraceful thing in front of her. Even though it was only a pearl. A very strange, convincing pearl.

“Yes, you are not a gem. You are beneath me. You are beneath every gem. The only thing you are better than is an amber. You’re pathetic. But,” Peridot felt she had come to a very logical conclusion, one she did not intend to be at all sympathetic, “you are not nothing. You are definitely a pearl. That makes you something”

How can you be nothing? That is impossible. You’re right in front of me!

Peridot’s world was very literal.

Pearl didn’t look as if she knew how to respond. Dark Emerald had very firmly explained to her that she had failed at being a pearl, and that now she was nothing. Dark Emerald was higher above this peridot in front of her, but Pearl wanted badly to belong to someone. She needed someone to tell her what to do. She would do anything. Be anything. And apparently, to this peridot, she was still, at least, a pearl. So a pearl is what she would be. Her identity had not been entirely erased.

“Yes, Peridot. Forgive me for my error.”

“I forgive you,” Peridot narrowed her eyes, “You are a pearl, a very stupid one, so I have concluded not much can be expected of your thinking.” Peridot had never known any other pearl, but Pearl didn’t know this. Peridot was reveling in the fact that she sounded more authoritative than she actually was.

Pearl lowered her head even further. She may as well lie on the ground.

“I am gracious for your forgiveness.”

This was even more puzzling and somewhat delightfully surprising. The pearl was seeing her as someone important. But at the same time, this was alarming. Peridot had never been in anything close to this position with another gem before. She wasn’t sure what to do next.

The idea of the pearl as hers was abruptly frightening.

“ Don’t sound so pathetic. Get up.” Peridot smoothed out her hair, glaring.

The other obeyed, and almost bowed, but she stopped herself mid-way, and seemed to be thinking if that gesture counted as pathetic, too. This was not at all how Dark Emerald had ever spoken to her. Even when Pearl had done something wrong.

Peridot rolled her eyes, and turned away with her hands behind her back.

“Just go. I no longer need you.” Peridot heard the steps. Pearl walking off to obey her orders.

Peridot, when she felt Pearl wasn’t looking anymore, turned to look back at the tall servant walking toward the clean-up vehicles. She examined the equipment, carefully, thoughtfully. But that wasn’t right. The fancy play-thing was broken and unintelligent. Was she going to pirouette across the hanger floor? Or perhaps play a song? Peridot couldn’t help a patronizing smirk.

And then she remembered being caught in the pearl’s arms. She wasn’t sure if she was feeling disgusted by it or angry. Or maybe something else.

I need to get out of here.

And she did.


	3. Beyond your Star III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the first meeting between Peridot and Pearl. Peridot is working on a not-quite-approved side-project (a completely illegal project) in her apartment. It's sundown and there is a distracting scuffle going on outside her window. She can't see much, but listens in on an alarming conversation that she can't help but interrupt. (Next chapter will be Pearls' pov).

Peridot looked up at the capsule complex. She lived in a mediocre but orderly sector of her district. Where she ranked in the capitol scheme left her fairly safe. _There were roughly 9 ranks, some that blurred into others, and some that didn’t necessarily fit anywhere._ Peridot’s could be anywhere from five to seven. She was sometimes in the middle, but kept herself steady at the lower end. It was a secure enough place. She had been living in this same location for a few hundred years. Only minor changes had taken place to the structure, so it was considered outdated. Peridot tried every day to ignore this. An entire building was something she didn’t care enough for to repair. Not to mention it would be dangerous for her to try. Although, Peridot was certain she actually could.

The capsule where she lived was a narrow but roomy enough space where she was able to work on her own designs, and test out, to an extent, what she made. Her materials were gathered from what she could scrounge from the hangar, and other discarded things she found on the streets. Despite the scanty inventory, she managed to build her own computer, and model its database on fairly modern gem tech. In it she stored her own ship and weapons models, and reports from the municipal archives. She fantasized that at some point in the future, maybe things would change in the Diamond Authority, and she could work with or above the onyxes. But for now, anything she did was for her own amusement. 

Peridot’s current project was likely illegal. Building service or other practical devices, machinery, and computers was not something any of the superiors policed. The lower and middle class gems did have leisure time, after all. But she had crossed a line without realizing it until she was deep into her work, and though understanding the risks of continuing to work on it, she was unable to stop herself. But she was fairly confident she would never get caught.

In the archives she had delved deep into the artillery and combat files. There weren’t any detailed models for anything, but she built based off the vague descriptions. She was simply fascinated in the numerous possibilities there were for the use of these things in advancing the empire. Or, more personally for herself, travel outside of Homeworld. Technicians were sent on missions when probing for new planets, and general monitoring of gem-controlled sites. But currently, such work was not available. She had missed the most recent project where peridots and other engineering-class gems were deployed to do such tasks. She hadn’t ranked high enough at the time. At some point, though, she knew they would choose her for such missions. That could be anywhere from tomorrow to thousands of years from now.

It was as glamorous a life she dreamed.

She had made small-scale defensive robots and gem armor. And at some point, Peridot had gotten the idea that she could build something for herself. A suit. An extension of herself. New limbs. Fully equipped to survive on her own outside Homeworld.

She was at a very rudimentary stage of construction, but had the skeleton of arms, legs. It pleased her to have these make her taller (necessary, she told herself, for defensive purposes.) She wouldn’t admit to herself that she was grossly dissatisfied with her stature. If there was anything noticeable about Peridot, it was, to her dismay, that she was shorter than mostly everyone else in her rank. At least in her sector. No one made comment about it. But upon first meeting, they certainly made the expressions that were just as well. 

Despite ulterior motives, what she had planned and what she had made so far was impressive, and she was very aware of this. It really did have potential for empire use. 

For herself, the attachment she intended was permanent. Trying to figure out how was the challenge in all this work (that and limited materials). Unless she ever had to retreat to her gem, this was possible. Or maybe there was a way for her to retain the appendages, even after a gem retreat.

A sudden crash outside Peridot’s capsule startled her. She turned her head around from where she sat at her workspace, eyes lit with interrupted processing from her computer. 

More crashing. Someone yelling. This time, not as loud.

Peridot removed the wiring from her wrists and shut down her screen. She walked to the small oblong window and looked down at the street, sighing. Sometimes upper class gems traveled through district lines, probably out of boredom, or to show that they were able to do whatever they wanted. Some of them even socialized with lower class gems. Friendly or not, they attracted thieves, as they brought with them their own district’s luxuries to be desired. Or such gems were thieves themselves. It didn’t matter who was who, just what they were doing.

Her capsule had been broken into before, and while they had left behind most of the important items, probably not understanding their value, they managed to make a mess, and break some of her things. Expensive things. 

Sundown had just darkened the streets, and vague city lights only revealed shadows. She squinted, seeing nothing but steam rise from the subterranean generators along the roads. A few mobile transports whirred by. Peridot was on the 7th level, and had a decent view of the street. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. And she heard nothing but the usual murmur of night.

_Some idiot’s wasting my time._

Peridot was about to pull down the shutter, thinking she had better secure the rest of the capsule, and that is when she observed the small light reflecting off a bulbous surface, near the alley. Or was it light emitting from that source? She couldn’t tell, as the flash was brief. 

It wasn’t any electrical pulse. Not any that she, at least, recognized. 

Then two shadows. Three shadows.

Voices.

“Look at that! A _PEARL_!”

Peridot let go of the shutter and pressed her face against the window.

She listened eagerly for more of the exchange.

“Are you lost? She looks lost.”

“Who loses their pearl in a place like this?”

“Look. She’s been dumped.”

“Dumped?”

“Yeah look at her branded arm. Defective.”

“Tough. I was going to snag her.”

“And what would you do with a pearl? Ha!” 

“Well, if you have to ask…”

At that point, Peridot had already scrambled down from her capsule to the street. She pinned her back against the wall of the alley, glancing covertly over her shoulder from the dark. It really was dim out, and it looked as if one of the grids was down. Again. But Peridot could still see her. Just a few feet away. The pearl. Looking terrified, but also a little angry. An angry pearl. Lean, cultured, long-haired and …angry.

“I don’t have any associations with you. I will be leaving now.” Pearl backed away from the two gems, a dull datolite and a bulky pyrite. The ornamental gem was hidden under a deep blue cloak detailed in rich silk, her long hair spilling out, the pearl on her forehead giving off a faint shimmer. Peridot wondered how the wispy servant was able to hold up all that heavy fabric, as well as all that hair. But everything about the pearl was effortless. Or that was how the pearl made it seem.

Perfect.

“Leaving? Where to?”

“You have a little too much attitude for a pretty, little nothing.”

The pyrite swatted at Pearl, and she blocked the contact with her forearms. The datolite had meanwhile slipped behind her, and was about to pull her down.

Peridot didn’t have much time to calculate the consequences of what she did next.

“HEY!”

And what she did next was only possible by freak chance.

Before running outside, Peridot had been at her computer tweaking with the body armor, and still attached to her left arm was the robotic enhancement, which she hadn’t had time to remove. Not yet extended, she had designed the prototypes to her measurements. The arm didn’t do too much yet. But it was heavy, and if swung hard enough, could be used as a weapon.

Peridot rammed her elbow into the datolite’s side, knocking them both to the ground.

The pyrite shoved Pearl down to the ground.

“What? Get out-” The pyrite’s knee was headed for Peridot’s face.

Peridot swung her arm, in that split second trying to remember how to activate the electrical current. It surged and gave a shock to the other.

I’M IN A FIGHT I’M IN A FIGHT NONONONO I’M GOING TO DIE I’M GOING TO DIE BECAUSE I CAN’T FIGHT BUT I’M IN ONE NONONONONO-

Peridot felt like she was outside her own body. Watching herself.

“She isn’t NOTHING.” Peridot stood up, not realizing that it was Pearl helping her up from the uneven ground.

The datolite was attempting to get back up, and Peridot, being supported by Pearl on her right, reached around to strike the other back down. Instead, before her arm even touched the datolite, an electrical current sparked and startled both the datolite and Peridot. Pearl almost lost grip on Peridot as the small gem leapt back in surprise, a muffled yip escaping her mouth.

“That pearl belongs to her?” The pyrite was yanking her companion from the ground, trying to get the other to stand.

“Yes,” Peridot backed into Pearl, the servant still supporting her, and the only reason Peridot wasn’t spastically writhing on the ground with drunken adrenaline, “she belongs to me.”

Not purposely, another electrical surge shot sparks at the two shady gems. The intruders ran off, one of them mumbling in considerable daze.

“What the diamond was that?”

“Damn. I don’t even…”

And then they were gone.

Pearl wasn’t able to get Peridot completely off the ground, and so had given up some and simply held her up by the arms. Peridot looked up. Again, that stare. Big eyes. Grateful eyes.

“nyygha..!” Peridot jumped away.

Pearl had taken this action as Peridot further needing assistance getting up from the ground. What ensued was Pearl reaching fruitlessly down at a gem fidgeting all over the street.

Pearl finally frowned.

“I’m not sure what you want me to do.” She crossed her arms, blue eyes narrowing.

Peridot could taste the annoyance. It broke her from her scrambled thoughts. Being disorientated was an especially uncomfortable experience for someone who always had answers.

Peridot stood up, dusting herself off (even though that gesture was completely useless).

“Don’t do anything.”

Peridot needed to get back in her capsule. And shut the door. Close the blinds. Turn off all the lights. Connect to her computer and never go anywhere else.

She stared at the surged-out limb, grumbling, but internally satisfied by how it had served her. It had worked better than she imagined it would at such an early stage of development. Peridot was aware of how limited she was in any combative situations. Her best bet would be retreat. But with what she was creating, her limitations became more apparent, and more possible to overcome. It was dizzying, and in that moment, she wasn’t able to fully grasp what this meant. Not to mention how much trouble she was getting herself into.

And there was the business of the pearl, who provided the context of this life-altering, accidental test-run.

An elaborate sequence wrapped in deceptively neat code bloomed somewhere in Peridot’s neural command center. Much farther into the future, she would still be unraveling the pattern, never completely demystifying it, but continuously learning from it the true value of things.

For now, she simply had a busted piece of machinery that needed fixing. And the awkward presence of a being she didn’t know what to do with.

Peridot walked past Pearl, glancing at the now soft-eyed figure waiting for direction. What had happened? Did it matter what would have happened to the pearl? No one wanted her. Peridot admitted that she kind of did, but what was she going to do with such a thing? Peridot did everything on her own. That was how she had adapted in this world, and in fact, how she had become so good at everything she did. She didn’t need a fancy servant hanging around, taking up space. Getting in her way.

Waiting to catch her.

A deeper green warmed her face, and she, in frustration, tried rubbing it away.

“Are you…alright?” Pearl tilted her head slightly and drew her shoulders back, an eyebrow raised.

Peridot was tired. She shook her head.

No.

“What exactly do you want, anyway?” Peridot could hear the exasperation in her own voice.

Pearl didn’t answer.

Peridot walked back to the complex entry, trying to ignore the steps that joined alongside her own. The steps that paused when she did.

“…hm.”

Pearl was waiting to be invited inside the building.

Peridot turned back at her.

She opened the door and stepped in, shutting it in Pearl’s face.

Five minutes later, Peridot was at the entrance to her capsule on the seventh floor. She was about to walk in, but her conscience was intruded by the thought of the decorative gem standing confusedly in front of the building. Peridot groaned. She dropped her head against the wall, thudding her gem a few times for being stupid. Because everything was stupid.

She walked back down to the lobby, then right outside the complex where Pearl was still standing.

She hadn’t expected the servant to actually still be standing in the same spot.

“Seriously?”

She walked down to where she stood, and opened the door.

“Absolute clod. Are you coming with me or not?” Peridot couldn’t look Pearl in the eyes.

Pearl silently answered that evening, standing beside Peridot and waiting for what to do next.

“You don’t have to- Just- Er. Come on…”


	4. Beyond your Star chapter IV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl gets acquainted with Peridot's unexpected living quarters, and as well, acquainted with the rather unexpected Peridot. She has some thoughts about her gnarled past, and worries greatly for the uncertain future. Despite these anxieties, Pearlis determined to continue to fulfill her services as a pearl. Even if Peridot has little idea of how to utilize them.

Pearl was cultivated on a planet that was now many smaller pieces of what it once was, pieces now covered in uninhabitable ice storms and volatile chemical reactions. Most of it debris in the darkness, glimmering dust particles. She had never known the sea caves where her kind emerged, would never breathe in the salted wind of a planet almost entirely ocean. There were vast cities beneath the water, countless deceased pearls who had once their own names. Pearls who belonged to no one but themselves.

Pearl belonged to everyone but herself.

She had survived the decimation of her home. She was of no importance. None of her kind or any of the other life on her planet were of any importance. She was plucked away by chance. She just so happened to be at the right place, at the right time. Or the wrong time. It was maybe all wrong.

Pearl was the first “Homeworld” pearl, but also the last “true” pearl. She drifted from one past to the other, and sat sedately in a very rigid present. The remains of other pearls taken from the ravaged planet (all cracked remnants) were used to grow a carefully hybridized “gem” exploited for personal use by the higher ranks, and anyone else who could afford them.

Pearl was very old.

She pre-dated the Diamond Authority, though only by a few hundred years. She had been passed along many owners since. In that time the Diamonds were separated, and alliances vague. Other gems, like sapphires or rubies, also vied for complete gem authority. Smaller factions held on to whatever power they had to the death. Pearl had stepped in to defend her masters many times, when all other allies were overtaken, gems shattered. Those moments were terrifying, but became as an expected enough occurrence that Pearl had desensitized to the violence. What scared Pearl more than death was not having purpose in a world of perpetual uncertainty. She was an accessory. But if she needed to go beyond that role to continue to be something, if only a living doll, she did.

Pearl was hardly any match for those who attacked. But she was always spared. So there was always a new master. A new reason, even though it was the same reason, to live.

With each new relationship, she seized from within her deepest self and offered it without any hope of reciprocation. It was the first thing she did. She gave them everything. Before everything was taken from her.

In those unpredictable, wild centuries, Pearl watched the empire stitch itself closed with the shards of a thousand shattered gems, the shrieks of war-ravaged city streets. At a certain point, it seemed to Pearl that everyone was losing. She knew all of it was absurd. But this problem was beyond her. Eventually White, Blue, Pink, and Yellow Diamond held strongly enough together to solidify the Diamond Authority. The world settled. Pearl had to retreat into a milder state of mind. In this new era of “peace”, it was no longer necessary for Pearl to be constantly on edge. Her master did not expect Pearl to ever have to defend their lives. But Pearl, quietly, still held on to this mindset.

Dark Emerald did not know anything about Pearl’s past. It was assumed Pearl was comprised of the same hybridized material every other pearl came from. Another emerald who had met an unfortunate, accidental end, left Pearl behind, and Dark Emerald had taken her immediately. This was almost 200 years before. Pearl carried along numerous pasts, none that had any lasting meaning, and held on to her own vague existence, which was lonely in that she was the sole survivor of a race that would never be what it once was. Ghosts of her kind were notes on strings, patterns of dance, accents of the owners who kept them on leashes and paraded them around to make others jealous or afraid.

Pearl would have never known about her home or her kind if it hadn’t been for Lazuli .

Lapis Lazuli was also the last of her kind.

A gem from the same home as Pearl.

How long had it been? The chance meeting. How things would be different had they never met. For Pearl, at least. She didn’t know what could have changed for the water gem.

If home is anything like you…

Home.

Pearl caught herself whispering the letters, forming the sound of it, and she stopped before Peridot could hear.

This was certainly a direction she had never imagined. 

Following a curiously short green gem up the steps of a dingy complex, to an apartment that was not an apartment at all. It was a room.

Pearl kept her eyes lowered, focused on her own steps, and eyeing timidly her small companion.

Master?

A master had never regarded Pearl in this way. Peridot didn’t seem to want to assume the role of master. Or assume any role. Pearl didn’t understand why her presence was so unsettling to the technician.

And why, if it was so unsettling, Peridot wouldn’t just tell her to leave.

Pearl was still in grief over the loss of Dark Emerald. She had been her companion for nearly 200 years. Dark Emerald had many glaring flaws, and it took Pearl a long time to accustom to DE’s lack of social humility (to put it in the kindest of terms). Everyone knew Dark Emerald was fully enamored with herself. She was a shameless self-promoter, her aesthetics were cringe-worthy, and she employed an ostentatious retinue that followed her around in public, taking up considerable space at social gatherings. The only reason why the other gems held their tongue and put up with her was because Dark Emerald made it her business to know everything about everyone. In any instance lips were sealed, DE somehow got around to loosening them. She was the gem to see for both useless and valuable gossip.

But Pearl was able to devote herself to anyone who wanted her, and eventually she looked past everything that made DE a spectacle. Almost always at her side, Pearl saw the private Dark Emerald (for the few hours DE could keep herself out of someone else’s eye. And earshot). Pearl understood DE was lonely, as mostly everyone was. Pearl kept her occupied with song, dance, and… other services. Pearl felt like she needed to be there. Someone needed her. 

“What are you doing here?”

They were at Peridot’s door.

“…I thought you allowed me-”

Peridot waved her arm

“No, why were you in front of where I live?”

Was the answer to this question necessary to move on? Standing out in the hall was not something Pearl wanted to continue doing.

“I had finished my work, so then I almost went to find my master… out of habit, but then I realized I have no place to go. So I went looking for you.”

Peridot’s interrogative expression rested unmoved.

Were all peridots this way?

“…you dismissed me at the hangar.” And said something very kind to me.

“So you came here because I gave you an order? Even though that order was just me telling you to get out of my face?’ Peridot was smirking now.

Pearl was confused.

“I came here because,” Pearl didn’t want to say it, because she wasn’t sure it were true, “…just now, you said I was yours.” Pearl lowered her head. She felt as if she had failed again.

“I didn’t say that!”

Pearl looked out from her cloak, her nose peeking out.

“No. You said it.”

“If I did it was to get those two morons to leave.”

Peridot’s voice cracked.

Pearl held back a smile.

“Ok.”

“Hnmph- mmh. Hmmmm.”

Peridot seemed to prefer communicating in sounds rather than actual words. Pearl made a note of this. Perhaps she could work out translations for reference.

“Lady Peridot?”

“It’s Peridot.”

“Peridot. Yes,” Pearl crouched down on one knee, “I am of service to no one, but I would be honored,” Pearl sunk lower, “to be of service to you.”

Pearl had been without a master before, but never because she had been abandoned for being “defective”. She couldn’t hide from that. It was branded to her now. It was who she was. And it didn’t seem that anyone would want much to do with her anymore. It didn’t matter how beautifully she could play the harp, how graceful it was she could dance, how sweet and obedient she were- she was without identity again. Lost.

But this curious gem. This Peridot. She seemed only artificially phased by Pearl’s defective status, and even if Peridot turned out to be an awful gem, Pearl could not put into words what it meant to be validated as a pearl.

You are not nothing.

Pearl’s story was not some myth.

“…” Peridot shrugged, “… it doesn’t seem I have any reason to refuse.”

Pearl needed a formal, clear response. She glanced up, eyes expectant.

Peridot seemed the resolute type. But Pearl could tell this was difficult for her.

Peridot grimaced.

“…I accept your offer.”

Something in Pearl warmed and she didn’t care that she smiled. She grasped for one of Peridot’s hands with both her own. Peridot frowned, but before she could say anything, Pearl placed her lips to the other’s palm.

Such small hands.

Peridot made an awful noise.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” She jumped back and rubbed her palm, as if the kiss had been an acid burn.

Pearl’s expression contorted apologetically. She raised up her arms, expecting to be struck.

Peridot’s initial shock deepened into further disgust, then confusion, then slight understanding, and then finally annoyance. Pearl managed to catch the subtle changes in Peridot’s expression through a weakening wince. Peridot had no plans f hitting her.

“UGH. Just get in. Hurry up,” Peridot slapped her palm on the lock screen and the door whirred open, “and don’t touch anything.”

The capsule was dim and Pearl walked carefully. It was clear by now that physical contact made Peridot very uncomfortable. Pearl had a difficult time grasping this. Part of the charm of having a pearl was the at-will access to another gem’s being.

Maybe Pearl was in some way repulsive to Peridot’s kind?

But she had never heard of such a thing. Pearl had been called many things. Ugly was not ever one of them.

Pearl watched Peridot tap a few keys at a panel by the door. The room lit all round with neon green light. Pearl’s eyes couldn’t rest on any one thing. The walls were covered in bright keys and holographic code. Storage suspended from the ceiling held various components of machinery, all painstakingly organized. Wiring branched all throughout the space, beneath transparent flooring and bare walls, stemming from a screen that took up the expanse of one wall. Pearl watched Peridot step on the low platform where she sat at the command center of the impressive computer. The small gem examined the robotic attachment to her arm, and then rested it on the counter as she began to dis-attach it, one fine wire at a time.

Pearl immediately knew what she was looking at was all of unique design. Most of it probably didn’t exist outside this room. Being told not to touch anything was a torturous order to follow.

“Lady Peridot-“

“It’s Peridot.”

“Yes, right, Peridot. Did you… build all of this?”

Peridot scoffed.

“Of course I did.”

Pearl’s eyes gleamed.

“It’s beautiful.”

Peridot turned around, one hand still working on releasing the robotic arm. A smug tone possessed her.

“Considering the limited materials available to me, it is reasonably impressive.”

Pearl was overwhelmed.

Only yesterday had she believed life would continue as it had for the past two centuries, in a spacious apartment high above the Capitol, with her own, fully furnished room, her own place at the table beside Dark Emerald during parties and dinner dates. Pearl had performances to practice and songs to play. She had to keep up with the latest fashions and mode of speech. Pearl had to be everything envied and desired. Just yesterday, Pearl had distinct purpose. There were rules. So many rules. She had tried so hard to keep from breaking any of them. But in the end, she failed. Pearl could hear her voice. One of the many nights with Lazuli.

You weren’t made for them. But what is there for us to do? All we can do is be what they want. That’s how we will live. We know what we really are. We can try to forget. Is that what you want? Do you want to forget, Pearl?

Pearl didn’t understand. How could she forget a life she had never lived?

Now here she was. In some lower-middle class closet that hid the technological genius of an abnormally small, socially awkward gem, whom, in addition, seemed to not understand what Pearl was for.

The only similarity between her current and past owner was the tendency toward unabashed conceit. But even that was off. Peridot actually had reason to think highly of herself.

How could someone like her live so poorly?

Pearl carefully stepped down on to the platform, still looking around in awe. She stopped beside Peridot, her hands resting on the back of Peridot’s chair. The apparatus encasing Peridot’s arm was intriguing. If only for the fact that it was weaponized. The electrical blasts it emitted were reminiscent of gem powers. Only soldiers, like quartz gems, used their gem powers tactically, and they had never been outfitted with anything external. There was no need. All gems had some ability. But depending on one’s status, how that ability was cultivated was confined, and not every power was meant or suitable as a weapon. Pearl had only ever seen such armor back before the Diamond Authority, when life was war-dominated and unstable. And it had looked nowhere as advanced as what was in front of her. Was Peridot as old as herself? Older?

She intently eyed the other’s small fingers work at the complicated configuration of wiring, screws, and metal.

“Were you in the Hylocean wars?”

“That would have been something, but no.”

“Oh? What about the Pleiadian?”

“No.”

“The Pluto?”

“…”

“… the Authority?”

“…Uh, no.”

Peridot looked both irked and puzzled.

“You weren’t around during those times?”

“I’m 977. So again. No.”

Pearl couldn’t help a small gasp. 977? Peridot may as well have just emerged. And here she was… making all of this? Working as a technician on the ships? On her own? This also raised more questions about the robotic arm. Questions that worried Pearl.

“Wait- so how old are you?”

Pearl almost didn’t want to say.

“…4,300 years old.”

“Pearls have been around that long?”

“Well, I’ve been around that long.”

It would be difficult to answer the original question. The Homeworld generation of Pearls were not made until almost 2,000 years later. An involved story. One Pearl was starting to doubt many other gems even knew about.

Peridot’s stare narrowed. As if she had trouble believing Pearl.

Pearl wanted to change the subject.

“I asked because that armor you’ve made, it is like those used throughout the war centuries,” another thought dawned on her, “Is there impending war?”

Peridot lost some color, then laughed nervously.

“I haven’t heard any indication that we will be at war.”

“So what is the armor for?”

“Well, for me.”

“…”

“I didn’t have the frontlines in mind when I started this. But what happened earlier confirmed that I could use this concept defensively. If a situation so called for it. Obsidians, peridots and of course, onyxs, and other technicians have the opportunity to travel beyond Homeworld’s star system. I just wanted to test out some ideas I had for outfitting the next generation. And… well… when I’m out there someday I want to be able to… hold my own.”

Peridot trailed off, and stared a little woefully at her arm.

Pearl was amused. A technician with proper defenses. Wouldn’t that give a gem more power? But from Peridot’s point of view, she just wanted to feel safe. But probably, more than anything, adequate. Which resonated with Pearl, but also perplexed her. A gem like Peridot had nothing to prove. Not with how obviously intelligent she was. But she did have her place. And from the looks of it, no order or permission to do the work she was doing. Outcast. Secret outcast?

“You’re very talented.”

“Coming from a Pearl, that doesn’t mean much.”

“I understand. I just wanted to make sure you knew that’s how I feel.”

Peridot frowned, then turned away to continue working.

“So you must have done a lot of standing around over the years. What did they even do with you in wartime? You must have been in everyone’s way.”

Pearl couldn’t help an indignant frown.

“I do my share of “standing around”, but it is certainly not “all” I do. I’m trained in all the classical gem arts, and I know ancient gem history and tongue. I’m here to serve, whatever it is you need of me.”

The other burst out laughing.

“I don’t really understand how singing or twirling around is any useful.”

“…it doesn’t have to be useful.” Pearl had always assumed it was useful. Gems asked her to do these things; didn’t that qualify it as useful? She wasn’t certain what to say. Despite being annoyed, she was more hurt by the revelation that the things she did weren’t important.

“Why would anyone do anything that isn’t useful?” Peridot laughed again.

Pearl’s frown deepened, “That’s almost like asking why anyone does anything,” she was starting to understand something else about Peridot, and felt less insulted, “you don’t ever do anything leisurely? Admire anything? Relax?”

Her response was meager. A blank stare.

“…do you ever do anything other than work?”

The blank stare persisted.

“Is there someplace you like to go, something you like to do?”

“Well this is someplace and I like to be here with my things and make stuff.”

“Nothing else interests you?”

“You are EXCEPTIONALLY chatty for a servant.”

“Sorry. It’s just that… I’ve never met someone like you.” And I’ve been around for a long time.

Peridot grumbled something. But then, quietly, mumbled into the counter.

“Likewise.”

Pearl blushed, and didn’t cover her face because Peridot was turned around. Negative or not, Pearl had not ever been acknowledged in that manner.

“Look, if I’m going to have you here, taking up space – and as you can see my capsule isn’t exactly made for two, or realistically even one – then you’ll have to be doing something.”

“Of course, my apologies, my Lady.”

“Stop with that!”

Pearl had forgotten.

“Forgive me. But I am accustomed to addressing my masters as such.”

“Whatever. Here…” Peridot looked around the counter, “hold this.” She gave Pearl a metallic tray where various tools were laid out.

Pearl looked down at it, then back up at Peridot.

“When I ask for something, give it to me.”

Of course she designated a menial task. But Pearl didn’t mind so much. It was better than doing nothing. At least, finally, Peridot had found some use for her.

A few minutes had passed, and Pearl watched as Peridot struggled with the device. She was seeking to comprehend what Peridot was doing: fixing it, or trying to remove it. The small one kept wincing now and then, and it wasn’t clear if this was due to frustration or pain. Probably both, but Pearl felt as if she had exhausted her questioning for the night. She didn’t want to interrupt her companion, whose exasperation seemed a never-ending struggle. What exactly pleased her new possessor was a mystery, beyond what they were currently doing in the lab. Which was not troubling. But Pearl wasn’t quite convinced that Peridot’s world revolved entirely around this one thing.

“Ughhhhhhhh- OW!” Peridot almost jumped from where she sat.

Pearl’s eyes widened.

“You can’t get it off, can you?” Pearl stared down at her. Peridot’s response was a grumble.

“Here,” Pearl set down the tray and sat herself on top of the counter, taking Peridot’s arm in her hands, “You’re having trouble because you only have one hand.”

Peridot crinkled her tiny nose.

“…Just hold it up. No, like this- Yeah.”

Pearl saw what was making it so difficult, aside from Peridot making it unnecessarily difficult by not asking for help.

“It’s attached inside your skin. How did you do that? Doesn’t it hurt? I’ve never seen anything like that.” Pearl stared in both revulsion and fascination.

“Eh, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to come off in case of shock… or at some point, because I want it to be permanent.”

It was Pearl’s turn to crinkle her nose.

“Why?”

“Your questions are intrusive.”

“My apologies.”

Peridot glanced at her, then away. She sighed.

“…there are a few rows of microchips with hooks. This mechanism,” Peridot singled out a small panel, “activates its release, but it’s jammed. I don’t want to pull it out - because I can - or I’ll risk damaging it. Which would not be ideal. This is one of the prototypes that actually worked. But I’ll probably have to do just that. Because this isn’t coming off, and I’m wasting my time here doing this.”

Pearl, as Peridot was speaking, was studying the panel.

“Here,” Pearl snatched up one of the tools, and reached down into the panel. Peridot squeaked in horror, but Pearl was unaware of anything but fixing the problem in front of her.

Immediately, the hundreds of serrated hooks retracted, and the robotic limb released Peridot from hours of frustration.

“Whaa..? How did you? Hey!” Peridot yanked her arm away, rubbing it. She picked up the metal limb.

“You broke it! Oh, diamond, you broke it!”

“I did not break it. It looks like you programmed it backwards, which is genius, but since it’s only going to work one-way, so you have to do the lock sequence twice. See,” Pearl repeated the gesture, and the device, not on Peridot’s arm, locked again. She again repeated the sequence, and it unlocked again.

Peridot just kept staring, and seemed to be turning darker and darker green in the cheeks.

Pearl had done it again. Made a mistake.

It was just so easy to speak with Peridot. The other was full of insults, but she still allowed Pearl to communicate without threat. But Pearl had taken things too far.

Pearl stepped off the counter and backed away, hugging herself and lowering her head.

“I’m sorry. I just- sorry.”

“Lucky guess.” Peridot gave her a narrow-eyed glare, then stuck her nose in the air, “don’t do it again. And don’t touch anything unless I tell you. I’m not having a pearl tell me what to do.”

“Yes, Peridot.”

“Do you actually understand? Or am I just talking to myself?”

“I do. I understand.” Pearl nodded, lifting her head just a little, still internally panicking.

Peridot looked around, maybe not sure what to do. She was visibly embarrassed. She made a lot of sounds, some Pearl was starting to catalogue.

“Alright, get back over here and hold my tray. Hurry up!”

Pearl scurried over, nodding rapidly.

“We’ll have to be back at the hangar in a few hours, and I have a lot to get done here. After I transfer the data from this into my CPU…” and she trailed off into an outline of the night’s work.

Pearl was half listening. Something inside her was racing, with both a sense of relief, and, strangely, doom. It was alarming how comfortable she felt with the technician. It was too easy. Something was bound to go wrong. Pearl had never been in the possession of a gem in this class. What was to become of them? But Pearl couldn’t leave. Not now. This was home. For how long, she couldn’t fathom. Her heart was still with Green Emerald, still immersed in her world.

Her tangled emotions only grew worse and worse. She was amazed that she was able to do anything at all.

It was because she had learned early on how to be determined. Not for herself in any way, but for someone else.

Peridot was most important now. And Pearl had a duty to fulfill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Diamond next chapter, with the possible appearance of more familiar gems.


	5. Beyond your Star V

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Authority indirectly ordered the termination of one planet’s entire population.The Authority is really not disturbed by the mass killing, but more concerned about their gem population finding out and asking questions. Yellow Diamond is disgusted by the whole thing. Sucking a planet dry is one thing. But assuming every population useless is stupid in her eyes.  
> The head of the council, Sovereign of the Authority, is White Diamond. All final decisions come down to her for approval. She believes in the supremacy of the diamonds, and the very rigid caste system. To her, it is blasphemous to believe any gem is more intelligent than a diamond, and that, for example, any Pearl is just as intelligent as a Peridot. There is unresolved tension between the other diamonds and Yellow, but as she is part of the Authority, and bound by limitations established during the war, her objections are viewed as more of an inconvenience than threat. For the time being.

It was not like the arenas of the gem wastelands or the ruins of the Authority war. It was much smaller scale, built above the Capitol tower. Made from materials gathered from various parts of their star system, the arena hovered, a massive, luminous disc as seen from below. Residents of Homeworld’s Capitol assumed it was just another addition to the ever expanding, opulent palace.

But there it stood. Combat training sessions where quartz and various gem soldiers sparred. These specimens had been training across Homeworld’s star system, mostly on the smaller planets and moons devoid of gem or other sentient life. Homeworld of course had an active combat unit, but those bodies were more regulations enforcement than militants. What the Diamond Authority had in mind not a police force.

They were establishing a military.

A group of soldiers that had shown exceptional ability had been transferred to the new Capitol base, where they underwent more advanced, specialized training. The Diamonds had been watching these gem closely, handpicking those they wished to keep close within their retinue. Wartime had been centuries ago, but recent events undisclosed to their populace had driven the Authority to initiate this cautious maneuver. In secret.

“White has called for a conference this evening” Pink Diamond was tinged the slightest pink. Her skin was near translucent, but in the light it turned from faint pink to rose, depending on how she happened to turn, and just what kind of light fell on her form.

Yellow Diamond draped her elbows over the granite balustrade, leaning toward the fighting down in the arena.

“Yes. Again.”

“Well. What do you think?” Pink Diamond’s eyes glimmered in the sun.

Yellow Diamond didn’t think anything. The meeting would be pointless. White Diamond had already resolved what her next move would be. Everything from here on was just formality.

“I only wonder at what point I interject. Most of the time I’ll be eyeing Tanzanite think unsavory thoughts as she gawks at Sapphire.”

“You’re so snide.”

“When have I ever been snide? If anything, this describes you.”

“But I don’t believe in holding up mirrors.”

Yellow Diamond snorted, “Neither do I.”

Pink Diamond smirked, and stood against a pillar. She kept herself facing Yellow Diamond, but side glanced down at the soldiers training.

“The populace has brought from the dead that word. Genocide. They’re calling it genocide.” Pink Diamond ran her long fingers through her lustrous hair. She clearly couldn’t keep her hands off herself.

“Something to rally around. We’re so subtle.” Yellow Diamond was sometimes tired of being sarcastic. But her environment didn’t allow the luxury to decide.

Pink Diamond examined a strand of hair, “You are nothing but disagreements. What are we to do? They have a name for it now. They are dangerous when they come together. We have to retaliate.”

“In this case, yes. But they had nothing that mattered so much before. They have nothing but anger now. They all have their place; but now there are lines that can be crossed. We are the liars. They want the truth.” Yellow Diamond thought of what she had seen in the report from the attack. The whole population of the small planet. Annihilated in seconds.

“What are you suggesting?”

Yellow Diamond turned to her a moment, then back down at a sword match.

She shrugged.

The more opulent gem bit her lower lip.

“Withholding information has kept this empire from falling apart. Can you imagine? If they knew the things we have done? There would be no Authority.”

Yellow Diamond was less focused on her conversation with Pink than she was with the image of the destruction of the gem colony. The more it played in her mind, the more justified she felt in her defiance. Her hate of the Authority, of each Diamond, of every high ranking gem lacking the fortitude to see through to the failure of their leaders, it was a hate so scalding she was forced into a darkness she had taken thousands of years to suppress.

Memories.

 

“What are you?” Yellow Diamond could no longer feel the crack in her gem.

Anthracite’s hands had been there.

“Perhaps your question should be directed toward yourself.”

Yellow Diamond laughed with a mixture of confusion and relief.

All she could remember was Pink Diamond lunging toward her. Then a blunt blow to her chest. A black out.

Who was this leaning over her?

“Where… where is your gem?”

Anthracite smiled sadly. This was Yellow Diamond’s enduring image of her.

“Merciful one,” The delicate being before Yellow held out her hands into the light, “I am my gem.”

 

Diamonds can’t fuse.

 

Yellow Diamond’s mind returned to the present. She had been listening enough to respond to Pink Diamond with relevance.

“How do we see our future? We have thousands of years of broken promises that we’ve gilded with more promises. More lies. How many more out there are we planning to grasp with insecurities? We are ever expanding. What is our plan.” It was such a waste of potential to destroy those gems. What was there that they did not have? What was there they could have used? Yellow Diamond didn’t believe in such waste. Inefficiency. Disservice to what it meant to be a gem of their rank.

Pink diamond frowned.

“We’ve done more than enough for the stability of this empire. Really, Yellow.”

“All I am saying,” Yellow Diamond moved from the balustrade to stand against the pillar opposite Pink Diamond, “is the more we keep, the more we have to lose.”

“Explain.”

Yellow Diamond had always kept neatly reserved. But her history with Pink Diamond, memories of that day on the battlefield, sometimes inspired these divulgences. But it didn’t matter. Each Diamond had their history with her. She had been the last threat. The last obstacle in the formation of the Authority. She had lost, but it always satisfied her to think that, in the end, everything had approximated to her.

“They had the war those centuries ago. It’s faded for them. For us? We are still there, snarling. This fear will provoke more than dead words. Tell me, what exactly has been achieved by repeating this behavior? Are the results changing? At some point, they’ll start looking for weakness. And the possibility of them finding one rises the more we hide.”

Pink Diamond raised an eyebrow, but then stood back slightly, expression narrowed somewhere between alarm and disbelief. She tried to mask her reaction. What Yellow Diamond was saying was something she had good reason to never say as they walked the capitol tower halls.

Yellow Diamond was completely aware of her words, but had no qualms being audible to nearby gems. She crossed her arms.

“You do know we have a weak point, don’t you Pink? Or has White completely taken from you any last sense of reality you owned?”

Pink sustained her strained composure. This, she thought, was the Yellow Diamond from the battlefield.

The Yellow Diamond that she sometimes remembered she despised.

It was best to move on and not further the conversation.

“I’m done talking of this. Look,” Pink gestured lethargically toward the arena, “that’s my quartz. I picked her up a few days ago from the training grounds of the Wastelands.”

Yellow glanced down. She was glad to kill the subject as well.

“Yes. I was going to ask you about that. I figured she couldn’t belong to anyone but you.”

“You definitely know me.”

“Yes.” Yellow Diamond’s tone made it obvious she was peeved.

Pink didn’t care.

“She’s Rose Quartz. Isn’t she beautiful? But more than that. She’s one to challenge.”

Yellow Diamond watched the imposing quartz swing her sword against the much larger Irnemite, a gem soldier with allegiance to Blue Diamond’s court. Irnimite was one of Blue’s best. If she didn’t seriously exhaust her sparring partners she eventually forced them to retreat to their gems. An embarrassing end. Only a few others were able to match her. One of those was Carnelian. Yellow Diamond’s closest guard.

Rose Quartz seemed able to hold her own. The bout was becoming quite the spectacle. Diamond court gems were pausing to take in the fight, voices murmuring. Yellow Diamond was also impressed. For someone new to the capitol training grounds, the quartz behaved as if she had fought here since emergence. The precision of her movements suggested she was in constant calculation of her opponent. She was connecting to the other without words. In her eyes, determination.

Perhaps most intriguing was the ambiguity of that determination.

As if she had yet to know why she fought.

Yellow Diamond immediately knew the value of such a gem.

“Watch,” Pink Diamond smirked wildly, then leaned down into the arena and shouted, “ROSE QUARTZ!”

Rose looked up to her liege, determining what danger may be present. Irnemite stole this moment to raise her sword and swing down into Rose.

But Rose was just as, if not more, quick.

Rose slid under Irnemite and thrust her sword into her abdomen. Gem dust glimmered everywhere.

A mixture of gasps, cheers, and even some laughter bubbled throughout the arena. Rose stood up, Irnemite’s gem held carefully in both hands. She looked toward Pink with that same ambiguous determination from the fight.

Pink turned to Yellow, sighing emphatically.

“I adore her.” She declared.

Yellow said nothing, and stared back at Rose. The quartz caught her gaze. Yellow saw that Rose understood that she was being scrutinized beyond the impressive fight.

“Well White’s called us in. We should go.” Pink Diamond blew a playful kiss to Rose before stepping away to leave for assembly, “Let’s go.”

Yellow Diamond broke gaze with Rose Quartz. She followed Pink Diamond out to the hall, looking over her shoulder to see that Rose Quartz was walking out of the arena, Irnemite held against her as if protecting the gem from further abuse.

As if she were given some specific responsibility to protect her. 

 

“Of course everyone is aware of the events that have led us to this conference. I’ve had everyone sent a brief of each incident. White Diamond was seated at the circular table on an elevated throne. Around her, there were diamonds and their guards, and the admirals of each regiment in the Diamond Empire. The highest ranking members of the capitol were also present. All in all, there were about thirty members, and everyone sat save for the guards, who stood silent against the pillars encircling the large table.

Yellow Diamond had sat herself furthest from White Diamond, having hopes Pink wouldn’t end up beside her. She didn’t. Probably disturbed from their earlier exchange. Blue, however sat to the left of her, and to her right, Sapphire. The two perhaps quietest gems in the room. Blue never acknowledged Yellow Diamond unless it was absolutely necessary. Sapphire hardly spoke at all. Ever. Yellow Diamond was grateful for how the seating arrangement turned out.

“Colony 3258, at the edge of our star system, was acquired just a few months ago. It had been designated for Kindergarten use. Orders were given to relocate and dispose of any life that got in the way of construction, our usual treatment of new colonies. However, along the line of command,” White Diamond cast a vituperative glance in a certain admiral’s direction, “these orders were interpreted otherwise, and all life was eradicated in a matter of hours on the small planet. It is estimated approximately ten thousand were destroyed. No gems were detained, and there are no known survivors.” Diamond waved her hand and the holographic transcription before her faded.

“Now,” She leaned against her ornate throne, “This was at most a waste of time and a hold up in the establishing of the kindergarten on 3258. We had decided anyway that this population would eventually be phased out, and any surviving specimens used for labor. But word got out to civilians. At some point, this information was revealed to a small group, who then publicized records of the killings. Gems of several different ranks were involved. And again, as you all know, this is what caused that vulgar riot just outside our district.”

One of white Diamond’s cohorts spoke, “We immediately communicated with civilians that the riots were nothing to do with 3258, and that the killing of that colony’s gems is just rumor. There were, as of that day, no gems even present on 3258. As far as our public knows.”

“How successful has this message been amongst the districts?” Axinite, a overseer of the engineers in the kindergarten projects, thrummed her fingers on the table.

The cohort glanced at White Diamond before proceeding, “We haven’t had report of anymore suspicious activity amongst the ranks.”

“Haven’t had report…” Someone scoffed.

“White Diamond will take care of loose ends. Won’t you?” Pink Diamond was mindlessly running her fingers through her hair. She attempted a neutral tone, and for the most part it was convincing.

“…yes, that is what I’ve always done. As lately loose ends seem to be an issue.” White Diamond narrowed her eyes.

Dark Emerald was there, and was studying the report as she spoke, “We’ve been eradicating these planets for decades now. And it’s been successful exactly because civilians have no knowledge of it.”

“And the plan is to keep it that way. We can’t have them thinking we are… that way.” The cohort again looked toward White Diamond, who was still staring with vague irritation at the assemblage before her.

Yellow Diamond couldn’t help herself,

“Well, we are that way.”

Many at the table turned towards her. White sighed.

“You’ve something to add, Yellow?” White Diamond adjusted herself in her throne. She kept composure as she spoke, though Yellow Diamond knew White had been dreading the inconvenience of her interruptions.

“Not really. Nothing to add. But a lot to hide, all of us”

“As we always have.” Someone spoke.

“And we hardly need to,” Yellow Diamond placed an elbow on the table and rested her chin there, “Everyone knows the history. We’re all a race of violence. We don’t give them enough credit. That they might believe in the necessity of violence. Accept it. But we’ve never given them the opportunity to see things our way.”

White Diamond seemed to have not been prepared for this. She screwed up her face.

“You are suggesting they can comprehend on our level the complexities of an empire? This empire?”

Sapphire seemed to want to say something. No one noticed but Yellow Diamond. She continued, “Yes, they are weak. But in different ways. And as much as they are weak they have abilities unique and necessary to sustain all of this,” Yellow Diamond opened her arms, “We can’t be afraid of them.”

“Afraid?” Someone questioned. There was murmuring at the table.

The admiral who had charge of 3258 cleared her throat timidly. She placed two hands on the table, “Perhaps Yellow Diamond means we must be careful?”

“No. That’s not what I mean.”

“Oh, well-”

“’Oh well’ is just right.”

The admiral turned red. She was new. She hadn’t had many exchanges with Yellow before.

She likely learned her lesson.

“…these are just thoughts. Thoughts all of you must have had yourselves, at some point.” Yellow Diamond didn’t particularly care anymore at that moment about being so openly insolent.

Pink stared wide-eyed between White and Yellow. Blue Diamond looked like she was meditating and completely unaware that she was in a room full of other gems.

“Your thoughts are duly noted. But now I must move on,” White could do nothing but brush her off, “By majority agreement we will begin stricter definition of district lines. We will begin assigning each gem a specific class as well. We can no longer allow indistinct ranking.”

A few voices rose, but White continued over them, “The insurgents had collaborated across district lines and class. Any congregations of this nature shall now be considered threats. It is priority we begin division of the classes, and increase security at the borders..”

A gem from Yellow’s end spoke, “They can’t cross districts anymore?”

The admiral stepped in.

“Borders may be crossed if there is specific business to be had. Other reasons will have to be approved in writing. Our populace will carry new identification. A new unit of the Authority,” the admiral signaled to a figure behind her, “will be reviewing all requests. Almandine? Introduce your team.”

The gem stepped forward.

“Stand,” she commanded. Each member stood, and then Almandine excused them to return sitting.

“We’ll be reporting directly to each Diamond.”

Almandine was one of White Diamond’s most staunch devotees. Of course she was chosen for this task.

“But the borders.” A few gems were still processing this.

The diamonds had been aware of the plan a few days. But this was the first time the rest of the court heard anything of it.

Murmurs escalated into loud chatting.

Yellow sat without words. As did Blue and Sapphire.

Those two were becoming more and more her favorite company.

A painful white light blinded the group, and white firmly let her fist fall to the table. A brief, beautiful glow in her eyes faded.

“This is not some sudden overturn of the existing system. There are phases.”

The Onyx head of the engineers on Homeworld’s capitol base leaned in toward White Diamond.

“What about backlash?”

Almandine was quick to answer.

“We’ve planned this change over the span of two years. That gives us time to campaign the purpose of this change.”

“Which for them, is what?” Dark Emerald’s observance surprised Yellow Diamond.

It’s bad when Dark starts making more sense…

“For them, it will be about safety. Protecting each other from unnecessary exposure and harm. We will inspire a pride in each rank, a renewed sense of “unity” amongst them, within their units.”

This seemed to calm the group. Whispers died down into faint sounds of agrrement and nodding heads.

Back to the start.

Yellow Diamond crossed her arms. Anything she said was futile.

From the corner of her vision, she caught Spphire shift, look up in her direction.

In the middle of an exchange across the table, between Pink and the Onyx and a few others, Sapphire stood up, and before she even spoke the room quieted.

Sapphire was consulted for everything from what planet to colonize next to what curtains would be most complimentray to the color of the palace walls. Her predicitions were mostly accurate. Her visions didn’t extend too far into the future, but it was usually enough information used to make more informed decisions.

She was held in high regard.

“If it is the safety of each rank we aim to communicate, we must believe wholly in this campaign. We speak of our ulterior motives here today, but perhaps we would not be lying to them so much as not revealing everything. Aside from this, do we in earnest wish to better their ranks?”

A telling silence followed her words.

“Of course we desire the stability of our populace.” White Diamond sat back in her throne.

Sapphire focused her gaze directly at White Diamond.

“I’m sure you will, fair Diamond, as you believe so absolutely in the worth of your subjects.”

Few caught the possible sarcasm of her words, and only Yellow understood it was without question intentional.

It was satisfying, but also unnerving.

She kept her yes on Sapphire as the other sat down.

Sapphire still wouldn’t look at her.

“Well, yes. Thank you, Sapphire” White Diamond seemed to have swiftly decided no derision was committed, “Almandine will give each of you a preliminary outline of the transition. It will commence in thirty days.

White made sure it wasn’t possible to allow any more feedback of the plan, and the meeting adjourned.

Blue and Pink Diamond were already hovering around White, discussing the meeting. As soon as the room cleared, the four would convene. Their voices faded as they walked toward the end of the hall.

Yellow Diamond hadn’t moved away from where she had been sitting. She stood, her eyes on Sapphire as she exited the room. Perhaps the blue gem felt that gaze, and she turned around.

She slowly made her way back to Yellow Diamond.

“This isn’t the right time for what you want.” Sapphire had such a monotone voice. But it made everything she said have more weight in it’s meaning.

Yellow Diamond raised an eyebrow.

“There is never a right time. Not until someone dismantles any illusion of perfection. That seems to be the current obstacle.”

“It is. You desire greatness. For yourself. But mostly, the empire. You want it to have meaning. You understand the value of our race. What you don’t understand is why. What you have yet to understand is yourself.”

Yellow Diamond wasn’t sure how to respond.

Sapphire continued.

“Your possibilities are more than I will ever comprehend. You are not like them. But understanding how, and why, is how you become what you really are. And from there, then it will be clear what you must do.”

Yellow Diamond had definitely not expected this.

Such words warranted punishment. It was seen as disrespectful to a diamond. But Sapphire knew Yellow would do nothing. She knew that, for now, Yellow Diamond wanted to listen, and that she maybe had a chance.

“I’ve had a long time to understand myself.”

Sapphire bowed slowly, “so much time has yet to pass. If you will excuse me, Yellow Diamond, I see you have business with the others.”

Yellow Diamond nodded, expression still uncertain.

“Yellow, we need you. Now.” White Diamond was unabashedly angry at her today.

Yellow Diamond turned to them with a mild frown, and then made her way over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: After having Pearl as her servant now for almost a month, the two are trying to find common ground. Or at least, Pearl is making that effort. Peridot continues to see Pearl as less than a gem. But slowly, she's starting to feel otherwise. It is especially challenging for the technician, who has spent little time socializing, and a great deal of time alone.


	6. Chapter VI

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl and Peridot have been working together in the hangar and at Peridot's capsule. Perdiot is having trouble communicating, and Pearl is maybe delving a little too much into Peridot's sheltered world. Personalities clash, but something is keeping it from completely falling apart. Until maybe one of them says something they aren't sure they mean.

It had been almost two months that Peridot first came in possession of the servant gem. Both Peridot and Pearl had settled into a decent enough rhythm, going from the hangar to the capsule and back, with no deviation whatsoever from this course. Peridot was still having trouble accustoming herself to the constant presence of another gem. Part gem. The interpretation of one. Imitation. Whatever. Someone was with her who spoke and listened and existed. Peridot had once been the only one existing in her world. That was no longer the case.

Her isolation was intentional; the outside world didn’t much encourage her to do otherwise. But despite hardly caring what anyone thought of her, as long as they left her alone, she felt compelled to understand Pearl beyond the surface. Peridot brushed it off as mere curiosity. It wasn’t like she cared or anything. Or so she continued to tell herself.

In what Peridot could only understand later as a brief lapse into insanity, she made the very risky request that Pearl work alongside her in the hangar.

“To keep her out of your way.”

That’s what she had said to Onyx.

She hadn’t thought it through.

But the superior seemed disinterested.

“Yes, yes, just get your work done.”

The overseers and engineers were preoccupied with the start of the empire’s transition. Hundreds of years of records were under scrutiny, and it turned out their unit hadn’t been as organized as most would think. Workload escalated significantly, but supervision was a t a minimum. They had the Authority on their back. Specifically, Almandine.

Peridot had been following updates of the ruling, not particularly concerned. She never travelled outside her district. And she had no interest in doing so. Or going anywhere unless she was put out on assignment.

She was hesitant to use Pearl for anything but nominal tasks. At first, out of an unexpected disturbance in her usual state of mind, she found herself feeling uncomfortable any time she saw Pearl cleaning up and being almost run over by equipment or yelled at, or all those things. It had been a week of that. A week that, for the first time, Peridot experienced what it was to feel ill: the twisting, nagging ill of guilt.

Pearl couldn’t be left at the capsule. No. With all that equipment and decades of work, what if she broke something?

Leaving her outside was out of the question. Not after what had happened in the alley.

Peridot didn’t want her servant any more damaged than she already was. Or dead.

So at the hangar she stayed with Peridot. And eventually, right beside her.

It was admittedly…

She didn’t know the word.

Something like, _endearing_.

But such things hardly existed in a technician’s world. 

Peridot cringed to think of Pearl being jostled about the hangar like the garbage she had to clear. So she felt bad. So what. It was annoying to hear gems yelling at her. And anyway, Pearl was kind of useful. Why let that go to waste. This was a matter of efficiency.

Pearl was annoying.

Too apologetic.

Chatty.

She actually tried singing a few times while they were working in the capsule. All Peridot had to do to end that crime was give an expression of absolute disbelief and disgust. Pearl hadn’t tried it again since.

The worst, though, was the touching.

Anything else was better than that.

The shoulder taps.

Grasping at her arm, but only being able to try and hold her hand (especially when they walked home. Was Pearl scared?)

Pats on the head (why, even?)

Sitting too close.

And the absolute worse, what ruined her day, what made her writhe, what made her angry even, the hand kissing.

A flood of panic would descend.

It was the only thing that made her yell at Pearl in earnest. Actual anger. Not annoyance.

She would be mean.

_I hate being touched, and I would rather be alone. Leave me alone._

And this was true.

But it was also true that Peridot had never not been alone. And although terrifying –and she made sure to hide her terror- she wanted to understand what she was experiencing, and be able to, well, be good at it.

Because she had never been. From the start.

More was added each day to Peridot’s vocabulary of sounds and not actual words, as communication with Pearl was necessary. Peridot knew Pearl wanted to talk even more, but avoided attempting conversation. Even though she wanted to do the opposite.

Peridot couldn’t relate to other gems. She learned this early on, in training. Already set apart because she excelled in everything she did, when she tried interacting with her classmates the exchanges always ended in confusion or embarrassment. And the eventual snub. Excelling at everything she did didn’t help much, either. Jealousy wasn’t justification for harassment, but peculiarity was. Peridot didn’t like feeling what she didn’t know at the time was hurt, so she responded by no longer attempting to connect. Eventually she was able to ignore other gems, and since she said little, she was finally left alone. 

“….”

Peridot could feel those blue eyes boring through the back of her skull.

She turned to Pearl, who was on the floor sorting through some cables they had picked up on the way back to the capsule.

“What?”

Pearl glanced up, then back down at her work, fingers still carefully parting and organizing. She was trying to make it easier for Peridot to find what she needed.

“Are you always alone?”

Peridot looked at what was spread out before Pearl, eyebrow raised.

What kind of question was that?

But she wanted to make sure she answered correctly. 

“Alone? Well, no,” Peridot made sure Pearl couldn’t see the unsure expression on her face, “you’re here, right?”

Pearl smiled.

“Yes, I am. But what I mean is, do you ever talk to other gems?

Why was this of any interest to Pearl?

At least there was an easy answer.

“No.”

It wasn’t until she said it out loud that it she realized it stung a little.

Peridot’s cheeks flared and she turned away from Pearl. The mark ups in front of her started to look like nonsense. Peridot was anticipating with dread Pearl’s next question.

But Pearl let a decent amount of silence pass, and said nothing.

Peridot felt like she had to elaborate.

“… I don’t need to talk to anyone.”

Peridot could hear Pearl smile. She had to be smiling.

“Ok,” the servant gem moved around some wires, “I don’t need to talk to anyone either. I have you.”

Peridot felt odd again. Almost as mixed as she felt when Pearl touched her or spoke in a particularly manner.

She didn’t know what to do with that feeling. Her real answer was probably that she was confused. Talking to others was confusing.

“Right,” Peridot tossed a container down at Pearl so that she could put away the wiring, “it’s hard to believe you. Considering how much you talk.”

“To you.”

Peridot frowned. But not because she was annoyed.

“Whatever. Hand that over when you’re done.”

“Yes.” Pearl nodded.

Peridot sighed, “I want to see if any of this is actually going to-” she looked down at what Pearl was doing. She hadn’t been paying attention much earlier until now.

“…you got that done. That was… fast.”

Pearl smiled. Peridot didn’t want her getting any ideas.

“I have to admit I’m surprised you can do _anything_.” She couldn’t help laughing. Sure, Pearl was probably more capable than she was allowing her to be. But of course Peridot’s genius was rubbing off on her. That could be the only explanation. Right?

Peridot thought she saw Pearl’s eye twitching, a slight glower in her features.

“Heh…thank you?” Pearl was definitely trying to hide the fact that she was bothered.

Peridot smirked.

Certainly Pearl had never been complimented before?

_What is wrong with you Peridot. You know she’s a lot smarter than that. Admit it._

Peridot rolled her eyes. The internal dialogue had to go.

Change the subject.

“Yes. So we should be able to test out the suit soon, if we keep up the pace.” Peridot had completed a shell of the actual suit. It had no real impressive function other than it could attach to her. The canon blaster was still out of commission. Peridot didn’t want to do anything with it yet until she had gotten the base design established. The mechanism needed a lot of work, and she didn’t want to shoot herself in the face.

All of this technology was fairly new.

She had made an extremely advanced weapon. One that could be directly controlled by a gem.

Dangerous.

A threat, actually, to those in high places.

“May I address you?” Pearl continued what she had been doing, but spoke more slowly.

Peridot snorted.

“Are you actually asking?”

Pearl looked down at the floor.

Peridot rolled her eyes.

“What?”

“Well, you’ve done exquisite work here on this body armor,” Pearl stood up to stand beside Peridot, “I’m rather speechless, to be honest. And I’m incredibly grateful to be here with you. Truly. But have you considered the repercussions if you continue this work? Especially now, since the district borders are going to be guarded. Everyone’s being more closely watched,” Pearl leaned against the counter, and since it was so short she ended up sitting over it, “I don’t mean to be so forward, but we aren’t exactly an inconspicuous pair, either.”

Peridot had thought of this. It was the harrow of her subconscious. She was terrified of being caught. But the drive that had begun the project had blurred all reason. So intrigued she was –impressed by herself- with the technology she was creating, she didn’t think it was possible to stop herself. From here, her genius was indefinite, and there was nothing more satisfying than moving forward in it.

Pearl had, in a way, driven Peridot to this point. She realized she likely wouldn’t have gotten this far so quickly if Pearl hadn’t been around. And not because Pearl helped much. No, Peridot hadn’t allowed that. It was more because Pearl was so enthusiastic. Yes, Peridot didn’t think much of any servant gem’s opinion, but Pearl was becoming less included in the amalgam of the lower class. She was, well, Peridot’s _possession_. What that actually meant was becoming less clear the longer Pearl stayed.

Still, Peridot wondered if Pearl could actually make sense of how the project was changing things. 

Did Peridot really know?

Things could end very badly for Peridot. For Pearl.

“No one will find out,” her confidence, feigned confidence, surprised her, “I’ve been doing this for years. I’m not a clod.”

Pearl seemed less than reassured. She fidgeted.

“Of course. What about testing everything?”

Well.

“There must be some remote location. Somewhere. Anyway it’s going to be someplace outside. Hmm.” Peridot realized they would probably have to move out of the city. Which would take a while. They would have to get it done in one night, as they both had to report to their work at the hangar, and this would be a challenge in itself. Moving all that equipment. Trying to blend in.

“Out- outside?” Pearl smiled, “I think I have an idea. I definitely have an idea. Why didn’t I think of it before?” Pearl hopped off the counter and clasped her hands together.

That annoying enthusiasm.

“Oh we’ll finally be outside. And I haven’t been anywhere near the capital in so long. It will be nice to see what I’ve been missing. They built a new transportation line. I never got to see it. But I will now! And the buildings they were working on. But we have to be careful. Really careful. Oh my, the capitol, and all the places we have access to. Well, that _I_ have access to, but we’ll figure that out- hmm- no it’ll be fine-”

Peridot shook her head. She was reeling from the barrage of words.

“What?”

“The warps! If I still have access- and I’m sure I do because DE always forgets everything,” Pear rubbed her chin, “then we can use the warps to find ourselves an actual remote location without having to leave the city. We’ll just have to get past district lines, but that’ll be no problem.”

“Wait- the warps? You can use the warps?” Peridot’s eyes widened.

Pearl’s previous master gave her warp access?

The servant waved her off, “Dark Emerald liked to get away from the city, and she always took me along. That’s how things usually are with pearls. Navigating the warps would be a problem, but I have a star system map, and I know most of the warp paths. A lot of them are abandoned, anyway. Old battlefields.” 

Pearl lightly tapped her gem, and from a white light within she retrieved a silvery scroll.

Peridot frowned. This was getting ridiculous.

First off, warp access, but…

“You keep stuff in there?”

Peridot wasn’t sure which was more impressive.

Pearl blinked, and one corner of her mouth curved.

“Ehh, yes?”

“So if I wanted to put this interface in-”

“Yes! I keep all sorts of things in here,” Pearl’s squiggled lip turned into a giddy smile, “see.”

She pulled out several more scrolls, a small silver harp, an ornate goblet, some scrap pieces from the hangar, a statue of some creature Peridot didn’t recognize, and… a hairbrush.”

There was more, but Pearl thought she had illustrated her point well enough.

Peridot’s eyes were still saucers.

“What about this?” she held up one of the tools from her counter.

“Yes.”

“This?” a coil of wires.

“Yes.”

“And this?”

“…”

Peridot held up a case of bolts.

“What about this?”

“YES. All of that.” Pearl’s eye twitched and she proceeded to shove all the items she’d taken out back in her gem.

Peridot actually smiled. 

“So we can put the suit in there?” She leaned over her chair, both hands on the backrest.

“That’s exactly what I had in mind. In pieces, of course.” Pearl smiled back.

“I can make that happen.” Peridot couldn’t help staring at Pearl’s gem. How did that work? Could other gems do that? Or was this some weird, unfairly designated ability reserved for pearls?

Pearl must have noticed Peridot’s fascination with her storage capability. She pushed locks of hair from her face and tied it with some ribbon.

“You’ve never seen anyone do that?”

“No.”

“Some gems can. Not all. But it’s very useful.”

Peridot thought of something.

“Your master wasn’t afraid you’d use that to help you escape?”

Pearl’s expression was horror.

“Why would I do that?”

Peridot figured it would have disturbing consequences. But still, Pearl didn’t seem to be thinking of that. Pearl seemed to have mostly loved being a servant. 

This disgusted Peridot.

_What? Why should I care? I don’t. I don’t care._

Pearl interrupted her thoughts, as usual, with a question.

“What dos your gem do?” She was beside Peridot on the floor, braiding her hair. It was distracting.

“How can you do anything with all that hair?” It had been so distracting Peridot hadn’t comprehended Pearl’s question.

“I just can. So, what does it do? What’s your gem power?”

Peridot rested her chin on the backrest and let one arm hang, tapping with mild anxiety at the side of the chair.

“Mhhhmmmhhmm.”

She looked down.

Pearl tilted her head, “what was that?”

“I don’t know what it is.” Any tinge of over-confidence had drained away in her reply.

How… embarrassing.

Peridot hated that feeling.

She’d invested a lot of time in trying to never feel that way again.

Pearl stopped braiding her hair. She looked up at Peridot with that concerned face the small gem was not able to grasp. It made her uncomfortable and suspicious.

Pearl continued, softly, “Have you ever tried summoning your gem?” There was no judgement in her tone.

“ _No_ ,” it was a drawn out, unsure no, “none of the other peridots and technician gems need to. We don’t have to.” This was not entirely true. Most of the technicians knew what their power was, they just didn’t need to use it. Peridot had no idea what hers was. Or if she was even capable of summoning anything.

“But every gem has _something_ that they do.”

Peridot scoffed.

“It just isn’t necessary. Especially since I have the means to build anything I want. I don’t need it.” The tapping stopped and she returned both forearms to the top of the backrest.

“You are very intelligent.”

“Of course I am.”

“But,” Pearl looked away, trying to mask some worry, “even if you think you don’t need it-”

“I don’t.”

“- even if you’re certain you don’t need it, it’s still a part of you. All of us are reflections. But it’s our inner light that makes us who we are. What we are.”

Peridot stared hard at her, her eyebrows creased, “what are you talking about?”

This was news to her. This inner light thing. Where had she been for that lesson? Or did they teach it, and she just ignored it because she didn’t understand? Why was Pearl always making her feel uncomfortable? Why was Pearl making her feel anything.

“Are you saying I don’t know what I’m doing?”

_Defective._

She wasn’t going to tolerate that.

“ARE YOU INSULTING ME?”

Pearls eyes widened, “No, no, that’s not what I’m saying. Oh, Peridot, that’s not it at all. I’m sorry. You’re… you’re just so different. It.. it makes me feel…” 

_What? What does it make you feel?_

Peridot’s eyes were wide as well, but she was blushing. 

Pearl quietly put up her forearms, probably bracing for physical reprimand. 

Physical reprimand that Peridot had no intention of delivering.

This was a run-and-hide scenario. But where? Pearl was, in a way, inescapable. Peridot had to end this. Now.

“Just stop talking. I don’t care how you feel about anything. I don’t care about you. For once, actually shut up _. Shut up._ ” Peridot turned around in her chair, and began busying herself at the counter.

She didn’t turn around for hours, and was able to completely block out Pearl’s presence in the room. Mostly. Peridot was once again able to immerse herself in her own world. It was safe. Reassuring. The way things were supposed to be. 

She was more distressed than she had ever been. The conversation had pulled at too many strings and jabbed at too many walls.

At some point she had to get up, and moved around in the capsule looking for something she had scrawled on some paper back at the hangar. An idea she’d forgotten to log. Moving around, turning things over, she muttered for Pearl to come help her look for it.

The capsule was silent. 

Peridot looked up, scanning the room for the tall servant.

Nothing.

“…Pearl?”

Peridot walked over to look behind some boxes. Nonsensically, she looked up at the ceiling. She frowned. Confusion.

Slight worry.

“PEARL?” She felt stupid saying it.

Peridot ran to her window, and scanned through the dark streets. Then she hurried out the capsule, first looking throughout the complex, then outside around the building, in the nearby alleys. She walked out into the middle of the street, stopping finally.

Nothing.

Just the silent, dingy night.

Peridot shut her eyes and placed a palm to her forehead, gritting her sharp teeth.

“ _Damn it_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Pearls perspective. I'm getting there as fast as I can...


	7. CHAPTER VII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is in search of Pearl, who has presumably run away, but she only has so much time before she must report back to the hangar. An important inspection obliterates any idea of dissing her shift (and she would be incapable of doing this anyway). An unexpected visitor finally comes into contact with her, in perhaps a bizarre, and momentarily confusing way.

Chapter VII

(PERIDOT)

It was clear what had happened, and there was little time to try and fix it. Just a few hours. A few hours that were swallowed in what seemed much less than that. Where was Peridot supposed to look? How close. How far. She started close to the capsule complex and gradually branched out of the area, trying to keep herself calm. Peridot found herself worried not about losing her property, but about whether that property was safe. She kept thinking of the alley, over and over. Would Pearl be able to handle herself? Neither of them had demonstrated much ability during that first encounter with those two brute gems. What had saved them was dumb luck.

Peridot couldn’t imagine Pearl being able to defend herself.

But then, Peridot hadn’t really seen what Pearl was capable of doing. Peridot had rushed in before the pyrite and datolite could do anything.

That didn’t matter.

She had to assume the worst.

She couldn’t stop feeling like a fool.

The sun was rising in her district’s sector. Light just touching the tops of the buildings, descending down on her. Her time was up. She had to report the hangar. It was never appropriate to miss her shift. But today meant even more. Unit 07 was due for an inspection. Rainbow Obsidian, the head engineer of her district, was going to be there, along with a few representatives of the new district enforcement taskforce. Peridot could keep looking, but it would make no difference if she found Pearl, only to find herself in prison right after. Prison, or worse. 

The entire way to the hangar Peridot couldn’t help groaning, kicking occasionally at the street and muttering every curse she could string together without running out of breath. It got to a point to where the frustration leveled to a dire silence. She looked around at each neighborhood she passed, down each alley and up at each complex, her eyes darting, fists clenching. 

Pearl was being stupid. So incomprehensibly stupid. 

Hadn’t Pearl indicated she would never run from a master? What a liar... 

Maybe Pearl would come back. She had to come back. That’s what pearls did. Follow orders. They didn’t abandon their owners. Peridot had seen how broken up Pearl had been over Dark Emerald, and DE wasn’t exactly the most ideal of masters. Why would Pearl just leave?

There was an answer.

What was the answer.

Before Peridot could think any deeper into the matter, she’d found herself at the hangar. She glanced up with a long sigh at the entrance. As expected, the hangar was busier than usual, the technicians and engineers scattered all over trying to get things together before Rainbow Obsidian made her appearance. The head engineer had missed the nightshift, then. Just Peridot’s luck. She wouldn’t have been able to sneak off even if she had the gall to do so. Not today.

Peridot looked out at the street one last time before going inside, hoping maybe she would see Pearl there, lagging behind.

Unlikely.

“What are you doing? Get out of the way!” A pallasite, dramatically taller than Peridot, shoved her out of the way. A few other technicians walked past her as well, most of them ignoring her as she had been pushed to the side.

She didn’t have any other choice but to go inside and do her work.

****

“…07 works on the colonization ships. They assemble everything from interior interfaces to the fuel thrusters. These technicians have several shifts, and their responsibilities…”

Peridot listened without choice to the drawl of Onyx speaking loudly over the noise in the hangar, addressing R.O. and the Almandine team. 

Peridot couldn’t help rolling her eyes a few times, as Onyx exaggerated her involvement in the supervision of her technicians.

“Each of them is able to follow our plans precisely, but also hold their own in finishing work.”

Peridot couldn’t help scoffing out loud at that one. 

_Follow plans? Do their own work?_

Peridot didn’t think very highly of her unit. Only a few other technicians in 07 were competent enough to keep it from falling apart. Peridot credited most of that saving to herself, and rightly so. 

It was tempting to completely take over the work of others. She had to be subtle or secretive and it drove her crazy. More so in the past two months since Pearl had begun working with her. A pearl was more efficient than her peers. A pearl was able to, at least comparatively, show more capability than them. It made Peridot livid to wonder why they hadn’t been originally assigned to picking garbage off the streets.

Pearl.

 _Pearl_.

Something inside clasped at her diaphragm, clenching and letting go, until it felt like she needed to stop what she was doing. But she didn’t. The feeling escalated. The defective servant was somewhere on the streets, while she was here in the hangar, unable to leave for hours, until the evening. If only Peridot could at least know she was… well, not in any danger.

_…I… I…_

Peridot, testing out the turbines of a thruster at a control panel, had to stop for a moment.

_I care._

_I CARE._

_SO WHAT._

_SHE’S MY PROPERTY._

_SHE’S VALUABLE TO ME._

_I’VE INVESTED TOO MUCH INTO THAT MORON, THAT STUPID, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID-_

The word kept repeating in her mind, and eventually it was unclear if the insult was directed at Pearl, herself, or both of them.

“ _Peridot.”_

Peridot looked down at the panel in front of her. She wanted to continue working, but it was if she were mildly paralyzed. Or just exhausted.

“Peridot _…_ A66!” Onyx was behind her, trying to downplay the fact that she’d practically screeched at her operative to get her attention.

Peridot’s eyes followed from her supervisor’s mouth to the top of her head, until her entire head followed in delay.

“You haven’t your _companion_ today, have you?” Onyx had stepped away momentarily from the inspection group.

Peridot spoke mildly, “No.”

“Well, remember she’s YOUR responsibility. She had better be working as hard as the rest of you. At some point I have to justify her existence here. If it weren’t for DE… ugh.” Onyx stormed off back to the group, who were now moving on the adjacent unit a few yards from where Peridot stood.

She looked down, still feeling that almost painful pulling in her chest. She just wanted it to go way so she could do her work.

She needed to focus, and turned her attention again to adjusting the turbine levers.

Was that a diamond?

A diamond staring at her?

The green gem flinched, stepping back slightly.

Yes.

One of the diamonds, one of the Authority, had locked gaze with her.

The diamond had lagged behind the group. She looked like to be the only diamond present. Normally, a visit from one of the Authority was announced. No one had said anything about her being present with the Almandine party. Further, a diamond paid as little attention as possible to anything the technicians did. 

Unless someone were behind her (there wasn’t), or if there were something out of the ordinary going on with the ship Peridot was working on. The Authority gem had to have her eyes specifically, purposely on Peridot.

Peridot caught the glint in the diamond’s gold eye, her gem faceted like a burning sun. 

_Yellow Diamond._

Yellow Diamond was studying her, for a moment giving a disinterested look, but her eyes narrowed. She crossed her arms, the tips of the fingers of one hand placed against her lips.

She raised an eyebrow, then smiled. Smirked.

She saw that Peridot had noticed her.

“Onyx, do explain to me,” Yellow Diamond kept her eyes on Peridot, and waved over at Onyx with one hand, “why I have seen this Peridot, not once, but several different times, doing absolutely _nothing._ ”

Peridot was unable to move, but her eyes must have widened an impossibly large size for the sockets in her skull. 

Well…

The day couldn’t possibly get worse. What was worse than a scolding from one of the Authority? There were so many levels of repercussion in her future. Peridot thought Yellow may as well shatter her gem and end her misery now.

As Onyx ambled over, rage making her gait rigid, Peridot thought she saw Yellow Diamond mouth something to her.

_Sorry._

Peridot couldn’t help the expression she made in response. She scowled, her lip quivering in disgust, confusion.

The reaction made Yellow Diamond look as if she wanted to laugh.

And she did. The diamond chuckled softly, and then gathered herself when Onyx caught up.

“Yellow Diamond, do you mean this peridot?” Onyx looked less angry now that she stood beside Peridot, and more afraid.

“Yes, what is her identification?”

“A66, Madam Yellow.”

“I’ve seen her on other visits. I said nothing, believing in the authority you have in your sector. I must say, Onyx. I’m rather disappointed.”

“Oh, I apologize, I’m surprised. A66 is usually one of my best.”

Onyx, Peridot could see, immediately regretted those words.

Yellow Diamond smiled, almost sweetly, at Onyx.

“If she is one of your best, then I hope never to see your worst. Don’t be sorry. Just don’t ever allow it, ever again.”

Onyx could do no more other than bow repeatedly, still apologizing despite Yellow Diamond’s words. 

“Madam, do you wish me to send her away?” Onyx was reluctant to say this. “Send her away” meant putting her out of her work. Her home. Everything. But Peridot couldn’t feel completely angry at Onyx. What had just happened would reflect very badly, for a long time, on the whole unit. On Onyx. Who, despite having done nothing wrong, as Peridot had done nothing wrong, would be reprimanded by Rainbow Obsidian.

Yellow Diamond, in what was a miraculous response to both Peridot and Onyx, shook her head.

“No. I don’t believe in waste. She looks perfectly capable of improving. Do continue your work.” Yellow gave a nod to the both of them, turning her back to catch up to the group.

Peridot knew little about the diamonds, other than that they were the first to unite the gems of each planet. They were rulers associated with balance and peace for all gems. But, as supreme leaders, they had to be harsh on their subjects. Otherwise, there would be no balance, and therefore, no peace.

An easy concept. 

Everyone knew their place, and when one found themselves out of order, the consequences were extreme. Violence and fear had kept everything together.

This exchange was puzzling.

When Yellow Diamond had disappeared out of earshot, Onyx leaned over and snatched Peridot’s arm. Her hands squeezed so hard, Peridot could hear something inside it crack. She was in enough pain that she thought she was going to have to retreat to her gem.

The small gem winced, withholding a scream she desperately wanted release.

Onyx leaned in even closer, “I swear, if only for the fact that Yellow Diamond expects to see your sorry hide here next time she visits. I’d have you crushed in the compactor and ground to fertilizer for a kindergarten!”

Peridot was normally able to get away with a snide remark at this point, or to say anything, but she just narrowly escaped a sure demise.

_Go ahead. Crush me._

Onyx let go of Peridot’s arm, looked her over, and slammed her elbow into the side of the turbine, causing a dent that tore through the thruster’s connecting wires.

“Fix that.” She hissed.

Then she left.

Peridot’s angst over the matter lasted less than an hour. The rest of her shift was a furious tirade of revenge. Where and when she usually held back, she unabashedly put to shame every technician in 007. She was already getting stares and overhearing the whispers of her colleagues concerning the incident earlier, and so she figured that for one day, she could let everyone know that she was, without a shred of doubt, the most superior technician in that hangar.

Peridot figured Onyx was going to keep Peridot long past her shift, but Onyx only made a disgusted sound and dismissed her.

“Just go home.” She muttered.

Peridot didn’t question her. As she was exiting the complex, a small grin turned into and all out unrepressed smirk. Onyx couldn’t tell her anything. Peridot’s work had given Onyx no reason to scold her any further.

“If you’re expecting a repeat performance tomorrow prepare for disappointment.” Peridot spoke to herself, still smirking.

Onyx knew what kind of worker Peridot was. There was no need to threaten her to do anything. And while Peridot did feel bad for Onyx, remembering this lessened her sympathy.

But anyway, all of this was somehow, probably, Pearl’s fault.

Pearl’s fault for breaking her concentration.

Pearl’s fault for making her feel a pain in her chest that almost hurt more than Onyx’s grip.

About that.

She had mostly ignored the pain in her arm, too dumfounded and afraid to worry about it the rest of the day. But now, out in the streets in the dull night, she became more and more aware of the pain. She had continued using the arm as she normally had. Probably not a good idea. But it was too late. 

She hurt, in a way, everywhere at this point.

Yes. All of this was Pearl’s fault.

And what was that all about with Yellow Diamond. Peridot rubbed her arm, staring at the uneven sidewalk as if it held the answer to the day’s nonsense.

The diamond had smirked. She purposely singled out Peridot, but then didn’t take the opportunity to punish her. Which, Peridot could think the only reason Yellow Diamond would bother her is because she had been bored. A technician was important, but certainly disposable in that context. Higher class gems were free to do as they wanted with the lower classes. Even if just for fun. If one could see that as fun. Peridot certainly would not have.

Peridot was surprised to find herself already outside her building. She sighed, and then noticed the light in her capsule glowing from the window. She was certain she hadn’t left it on.

Had Pearl come back?

Exhausted, a surge of energy came over her as she rushed up the building steps. She was almost tripping over herself, confused as to why she was so excited, relieved, but unable to keep her body from reacting how it was. What would she do? Yell at Pearl. Give her every insult she could muster. Threaten her. Put her back to work.

Have the company back that she had grown to not simply tolerate, but like. Or something. If that’s how enjoying anything other than work actually felt.

_This day could get worse. No question about that. But it’s unlikely so many bad things happen at once. Well, that’s likely too. What is wrong with me? Everything’s possible. OH JUST OPEN THE DOOR STARS AND DIAMONDS MY ARM HURTS-_

She stumbled into her capsule after waving herself in, falling flat on her face.

Yellow Diamond was standing in her capsule.

Yellow Diamond was standing in her capsule

Yellow Diamond was standing in her capsule.

Yellow Diamond.

Was standing.

In.

Her capsule.

Peridot knew this was the end of her days as a gem. What happened when one’s gem was cracked, then obliterated? Would she feel it? It didn’t matter what it would feel like. She was going to die.

Peridot had come in while Yellow Diamond was reaching into one of the storage spaces above the computer. Yellow’s expression was not particularly threatening. In fact, she looked pleased to see Peridot.

“These living compartments for citizens are quite novel. But while I find it amusing, I doubt you feel the same.”

Peridot was not able to respond, and was still on the floor, staring up at her sovereign. 

Yellow Diamond returned the tool she had been turning over back to its storage place. She moved toward Peridot, until she stood above her. She leaned down, putting out a hand for Peridot.

“Whatever you have to say won’t be held against you. I only want honesty.”

Peridot looked down at the hand, then back up at Yellow. 

Luminous, tall, broad Yellow Diamond. Peridot couldn’t keep from staring into her gem. It was what Peridot could for the first time could call beautiful. If she knew the word.

Yellow sighed.

“A66, won’t you allow me to help you?” Yellow gently turned over her held out hand.

Peridot, finally, was able to very hesitantly place her hand in the other’s. She was lifted in a strong grip. Long fingers. Peridot’s entire hand was smaller than Yellow’s palm.

There was something reassuring about being held in that hand. 

But everything about Yellow was, to Peridot, overwhelming. She swam in a vocabulary limited to what she used in her life as a technician. A hermit one, at that. Again, she couldn’t find that word. _Beautiful._

“I hardly fit in this place. Small as you are, you hardly fit as well. Sit?” Yellow brought Peridot to her chair, still holding her hand. Peridot could not tear away her eyes, could not think of or understand anything. She did gather herself somewhat when Yellow Diamond released her hand. The lesser gem watched the Authority ruler look around. She had nowhere to sit.

Peridot was about to offer her own seat, but Yellow put up her palm, and then, adjusting her long cloak, sat against the capsule window. Although not an ideal seating spot, and very awkward, Yellow managed to look resplendent.

“A66? That won’t do. Amongst peridots, you are worthy to be spared such coding. Yes. Peridot. _The_ Peridot,” Yellow responded with a smile as she saw the green gem blush, “I’m here to ask you to be _my_ Peridot.”

It wasn’t a question. Peridot understood that immediately.

She felt herself sinking into a hot puddle of mortification.

Yellow continued.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I have to establish a distance between you and I, and I’ve done that first by making others believe I don’t think very highly of you.”

Yellow, her arm rested over a bent knee, looked around the capsule.

“I definitely knew you are intelligent, but I didn’t think at all I’d walk into this. To be honest, I don’t even understand most of it.”

“…” Peridot desperately wanted to participate in the discourse, but she wasn’t sure if she was permitted to speak.

Yellow continued.

“The suit, in particular, caught my attention. I went through as much as I could to try and figure out just what a technician, a gem not at all made for combat, would want to build something like this for. Because the entire project is considered a capitol offense. I could kill you. Right here. And it would be one of the more justified deaths this Empire has permitted,” Yellow seemed to be reviewing the history of just that, then moved on, “but I’m no imbecile. Judging from what I’ve seen you do and how you behave, I can tell you have no sinister intentions. In fact, you don’t have an interest in any kind of rebel activity at all. You don’t have any interest in anything but all this.” Yellow gestured to the entirety of the capsule.

Peridot was starting to feel the immense pain in her arm now travel up to her shoulder. It distracted her somewhat from appreciating Yellow Diamond’s words. But she was aware that something incredible was happening. Something that would, while she didn’t realize it now, would change the entire course of her existence on Homeworld, and later, away from it. It would change the direction of her life, the gems present -and not present- in it, and her relationship to these things.

Like many of the gems involved, so much would be lost.

But for now, the intentions and dreams of now had little similarity to that future.

“I’ll be needing you. I have no definite timeline. For now, none even exists. But I sense that I need to begin something. That this is where I start. Hm,” Yellow Diamond laughed quietly, “I guess I thought someone might snatch you away. I forget sometimes that I am not very patient, though others seem to think I am. I suppose that is true only comparatively.”

Peridot had gathered herself enough to put together some words. It didn’t seem to matter when she would join in. She was getting a feel for how this was supposed to go.

“What do you want me for?” Peridot had no etiquette. One in the lower class never first addressed a diamond without a “madam” or a “majesty” or other such title. The question was too direct. 

But Peridot had never been aware of these things. If regular communication was a mystery to her, then so was communication with Yellow. 

Yellow seemed to understand this, and made no comment about it. Just a slight, knowing smile.

“A lot of things. Things I know only you can do. In the meantime,” Yellow stood up, walking over to where Peridot sat and towering over her, “I’ll be calling on you every once and again. Don’t worry how. I only ask that this stays between us. Between no one but you and I.”

Yellow leaned in further, and held up Peridot’s chin, their faces almost touching. Peridot was paralyzed, feeling both afraid and… well, thrilled. More thrilled than she thought was ever possible for her. This was better than any mission she could be sent on. Any project she could have made up. This was unreal. 

She had no idea what any of this was actually about. She only wanted to be in Yellow Diamond’s presence indefinitely.

Yellow Diamond was suddenly all Peridot needed.

Amongst the many strange things she was experiencing lately with Pearl, this one was the strangest. 

_Need?_

“You’ve kept low for so long,” the gold diamond leaned into Peridot’s ear, speaking softly and still holding her chin, “ _stay there until I come for you.”_

The towering gem stepped away, Peridot unable to move from the position Yellow left her.

Yellow sauntered to the door, and before opening it, turned to the disorientated gem.

“In the meantime. Keep working on that suit.”

And then she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been dying to write a scene with Peridot and Yellow Diamond. And here they have finally met! I have some interesting things planned for the dynamic of these two. I am practically in love with Yellow Diamond, so as the story progresses, we will get to see her past and understand her more, as well as events and meetings during the war years, pre- Diamond Authority. When will we see Pearl again, you ask? Don't worry. She'll be back...


	8. Chapter VIII

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Diamond remembers a very complicated past with her and the other diamonds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had an idea of how I was going to write about each diamond, but that has changed since seeing The Answer. But one thing I definitely won't change (for this fic and my view of the actual series): the Rose Quartz as Pink Diamond theories drive me crazy. And Rose Quartz plays an important role later in the story,... I can't really change that part. Rebellion hints sometime in the future.
> 
> Also, the decision of placing YD's diamond in her left eye was pre-The answer, so I just left it (I believe all the diamonds have them on their chest? Or am I wrong? ) Also I just thought it was cool. So yeah. 
> 
> Thanks for staying with the story, to whoever is reading. I really appreciate it.

Each member of the Diamond Authority had a designated function. Blue was judge. She decided the severity of punishments, and enforced the law. Pink was diplomat. When it came to managing the colonies, she oversaw all activity. Yellow had a vaguer role. She ended up in any which one of those positions, but since the military was being reestablished, she had found herself at training grounds, recruiting gems from the kindergartens and supervising their progress. And White, above all the others, was Sovereign of the Authority, the last word. She spoke at all public events and addressed the gems directly. Work in the Kindergartens, the military, diplomatic endeavors, and all governing bodies of Homeworld were under her rule. 

The Diamonds were equally revered. They held all power over Homeworld. But White had informally established herself as the leader, and while she spoke of the four as equals, the other diamonds and their court understood that she would challenge them for rule if necessary. This was a unceasing concern, but they also acknowledged that there was nothing so particularly special about White, nothing threatening enough that she would have advantage if there was a fight for the Diamond throne. They had simply let her be, as there was no worth in contesting her arrogance.

The real struggle amongst the four was the presence of Yellow Diamond.

Yellow’s past was a past that had, in the end, determined the formation of the Authority. Which for the gems of Homeworld had also determined their way of life. Everyone knew the tale of peace. One brutal war, the most violent war, had birthed the equilibrium held in the hands of each of the most powerful gems.

If only things had turned out different.

Yellow Diamond was the last of the four diamonds during the war years to resist White, Blue, and Pink. The three had come together, agreeing to end their fighting and create the Authority. Yellow had refused to join them, and continued to fight their armies with her own. Though clearly outnumbered, she was still able to hold together an army against the three most powerful gems in the known universe. She would not accept compromise in what she believed. She wanted her own Empire. Yellow Diamond had taken out a substantial portion of the army against hers. But after months there finally was the last battle, and her entire force was slaughtered in a matter of hours. Yellow watched from afar, unable to do anything, and in anguish over having led her people into a trap. 

But she hadn’t known all had been destroyed until she and Anthracite emerged from hiding.

Yellow stood outside Peridot’s rust-stained complex in the shadows. She watched the technician move about her capsule, having forgotten, it seemed, to shut her blinds. The green gem held her left arm close against her chest, clearly in pain. Despite this, Yellow watched her forcing use of the arm when retrieving things from her compartments. The injury had to be the result of punishment from Onyx or Obsidian. Yellow had expected the peridot- _Peridot_ – to have been punished after the incident at the hangar. It was a hard decision to do what she did, knowing there would be consequences against the small gem, but Yellow Diamond had no choice. She had to establish that Peridot was too mediocre for Yellow to want anything to do with her.

This, she realized, was something she had forgotten to be explicit about in her meeting with the technician: stay as ordinary as possible. So ordinary you don’t exist.

Peridot was smart. The authority gem trusted she would figure this out.

Finally, Peridot noticed the window, and the blinds snapped shut in one forceful tug. 

Yellow worried about that arm.

_She’s a runt, that one._

Peridot’s physical weakness was the only problem.

But Yellow had already thought of the perfect use for the technician, amongst the countless other uses Peridot had, and it involved ensuring Peridot was able preserve herself enough to endure and work for Yellow. The suit had been a sign. Yellow had been going that direction. 

_Clever gem. She knows what she is, so she’s adapting._

That was the heart of anything Yellow Diamond wanted. For every gem to hold their own. Weakness, she learned, was not inherent. There were countless ways to improve, to survive. The weakest shouldn’t be protected, but they should be given a chance. This was what she wanted the Empire to be. Honest, deliberate, trusting. Ranks should be firmly established, but none of them kept from each other; in fact, their contact was essential. They would have little reason to pit against each other, and when violence became necessary, because often it was, there would be no question about its use. There would be no question in the supremacy of their ruler and those in charge.

Her thoughts were in a mire as she stared at the dark window. Yellow Diamond had turned over Sapphire’s words for two months. She couldn’t free herself of them.

_You desire greatness. For yourself. But mostly, the empire. You want it to have meaning. You understand the value of our race. What you don’t understand is why._

_What you have yet to understand is yourself_

Yellow could very easily dismiss the observation that she didn’t know herself. She had been through so many things. She lived numerous lives, all different. 

She looked down, then out at the street. This place, marginalized and urging complacence, was only part of the wreckage she saw. Why no one else at her level could see it, alienated her greatly. Maybe that’s what Sapphire meant. But Yellow had rarely doubted herself. 

Anthracite changed everything.

If there were any darkness within Yellow Diamond, it had attached completely and exclusively to the memory and experience of that short period of time.

Yellow sometimes felt for the scars she could not remove from the light of her gem. She’d had time enough to let it go. 

But not completely.

The one thing she had not completely conquered.

With a reluctant smile, she cursed Sapphire.

Yellow Diamond threw over the hood of her cape, taking one last look at the apartment before she walked through the alleys. 

Though nothing like Anthracite, nothing like Anthracite at all, Peridot reminded her of the ill-fated gem. Not in appearance or even demeanor, it was the feeling she had, the urge to protect, although that urge went against her principle of self-sufficiency. 

That small hand in hers. 

It was the dumb look on Peridot’s face. Instant adoration. 

She could tell the feeling confused the miniature gem. 

Yellow had to return to the palace soon, before the morning made it harder to be unseen. It was already difficult attempting stealth (Yellow, like the other diamonds, was much taller than any other kind of gem. But she knew how to keep in the dark). All along the way, through alleys and tunnels leading to the palace, Yellow Diamond could not stop the memories of Anthracite flooding her thoughts. So she let them play.

_… both fought ruthlessly against each other. But in the end, Pink conquered the misguided Yellow and led her to the light that is the Authority. The end of the war and the advent of Peace had began._

_\---_ Excerpt, the official record of the Battle for Peace, 1,200 years ago from present time

The beginning of the last battle was fought on a planet just outside the Authority’s galaxy base. Yellow had been preparing for this for months, and while she didn’t have a complete hold on the strategy of her opponent, she felt her troops had a fair chance of defeating them. At worst, Yellow would have to retreat, but most of her gem soldiers would survive. Yellow Diamond had always been good at that, and it was one of the main reasons she had many loyal cohorts: Yellow’s strategies ensured there were as few casualties as possible each battle. At some point, she had assessed and trained every single gem on her side. They had fully fleshed roles, and the confidence to support each other. For this, and many other reasons, the followers of Yellow were extremely difficult to persuade to the Authority. 

But she had miscalculated everything. Pink Diamond’s troops descended from above, ships landing over their base. Yellow had been blindsided, her force scattered and ineffective. The dust of shattering gems enclosed the battlefield. The smog of death. Yellow Diamond inhaled the cells of her followers as she sliced through Authority warriors with her sword. She used both the strength of her weapon and the grip of her hands to crush her enemies with little effort. 

Yellow Diamond wanted Pink dead. She wanted Pink’s gem beneath her heel so that she could feel every rupturing crack and fissure. She wanted to feel Pink’s pain. She wanted to be the source of every agony Pink could ever experience. 

Pink had barely stepped onto the battlefield. Yellow eyed her beside her ship, and she sped straight for her, shoving aside her most ruthless soldiers into the ground. Her sword swung down in aim of Pink’s gem, but Pink had unsheathed her own sword. Their weapons crossed, the two pushed against the other, but neither stance could be conquered. They released swords simultaneously, jumping back to charge for another blow. Soon, their weapons scraped and slammed, the two circling around the ship. They exchanged no words, focused entirely on the demise of each other.

At a certain point, after a long fight, Pink had Yellow on the ground. In Pink Diamond’s eyes was hate. Yellow refused to let this be the end. Not like this.

_You don’t know what real hatred is._

She tossed her own sword, and with both hands clutched Pink’s sword. Her hands were nearly severed, but she had yanked the weapon from Pink and flung it out into the battlefield. Pink looked down at her in terror, stepping back. Her fear only further disgusted Yellow.

_Weak._

But Pink, in a swiftness Yellow Diamond had never seen in her opponent, lunged at her, knocking them both to the ground. 

Yellow only remembered the feeling of her skull being crushed. She felt as if she were flickering, unsure of existing. But her skull was not what had been crushed, although it was severely maimed.

She saw, from one eye, Pink Diamond shoving a hand into Yellow’s diamond. Pink was scraping her gem, thin cracks expanding deeper.

Yellow, in the only instance she could ever recall, screamed.

Their swords had been forged with diamond gem dust from hundreds of thousands of years in the past. But with enough force, a diamond could crush a gem with their physical form. Only a diamond can hurt another diamond, and Pink had beaten Yellow into the barren soil of a now decimated colony. It was to be her end.

From there, the details blurred further.

Yellow could not recall fleeing into Pink Diamond’s ship. But it had been the only thing to do. Her gem damaged, Yellow could not function.

There was the roaring of battle in her ears, the rumble of the quaking planet in her chest. There was the flickering, the faintness of being.

Then. Nothing.

“Hm-mm-hm, hmm-mhm-hmmm…”

_Sounds. Where am I?_

There was still darkness, but she came in and out of dim light. She could only see from one side.

“…Hmmm-hm-hmm, Hm-mm-hm…”

_My- my gem. My diamond. My…_

_My diamond._

She jerked up from wherever she was on her back, but lifting up her body was a battle against gravity. Her limbs were impossibly heavy. She was hurt.

Yellow Diamond fell backward with a grunt. She lifted an arm, testing the weight of it, her ability to move.

Even that was difficult.

“Hmm-mm- please be careful,” a pause, “hmm-hm-hmm, hmm-mhm-hmmm.”

Humming. A voice. A gem. Somewhere in the dark.

Yellow Diamond thought she might be hallucinating. With a cracked gem, she was probably in the process of death. A slow one.

Yellow lifted her arm again, her hands feeling against her temple, down to blinded eye, her diamond.

The crack was more severe than she had thought possible.

Yes. A very slow, excruciating death.

She groaned, then it became laughter. Bitter laughter. 

_How pathetic._

“I’m sorry.” That voice. It was closer. A few footsteps.

Yellow was caught in the flickering again, but she turned to look, her fingers still on her gem.

“Please.”

Smaller, but long and almost matching hers, hands brushed over hers. She’d gently removed Yellow’s hand. Then, the hand was over her gem.

“I can’t do it all at once. I’m trying. I don’t know how long you will be in pain, but I can save you.”

Yellow Diamond felt a blooming sensation within her gem. She thought she saw light, and for a few moments she was able to see again from her left eye.

A tall, lanky outline, one that glimmered in the dark, though barely.

“What are you?” Yellow Diamond touched her gem again, feeling the other hand move away. The cracks in her gem were no longer as deep.

Yellow Diamond laughed with a mixture of confusion and relief.

Who was this leaning over her? 

“ _What are you?”_ Yellow Diamond repeated.

There was another short silence. Then the voice returned.

The shadow bowed.

“Anthracite. The only gem, as far as I know, left on this planet.”

Yellow Diamond squinted. The form was becoming clearer, though she still could see a blur in her left eye. 

“Where… where is your gem?”

The figure bent down, all of her now revealed in a faint light coming from somewhere above. Long hair fell over Yellow. Long, silvery hair full of what Yellow could only think was diamond dust. 

“Merciful one,” The delicate being before Yellow held out her hands completely to the light, “I am my gem.”

Yellow Diamond didn’t understand the answer.

“I found you in the wreck. Some days ago. Your ship- your escape pod- landed here.”

Yellow shot up, this time able to hold herself up on one of her elbows.

“Days? Where is this place? _Days…_ ” Yellow Diamond attempted to stand, but the figure, the other gem, stopped her.

“Please don’t. It will take me longer to heal you.”

“Heal me?”

A sigh. A tired one.

“… I am my own light, I am all of me, and that all of me is nothing. So you may have some of it. It will mean something more to you, Yellow Diamond, than it does me.”

Yellow Diamond figured it was still possible she were hallucinating. But she touched her diamond again. She looked more closely at the figure in front of her. 

The gem reached just at Yellow’s forearm, her hair almost down to her feet. Her skin was gray, a black gray that shimmered like starry ashes. Her eyes, all silver, a white silver. Yellow could see no visible gem, although it appeared she had no covering. She was smooth everywhere, slightly ambiguous. Yellow blinked. Narrowed her eyes.

“…like I said, I am my gem.”

“How?” Yellow Diamond, in this moment, was not thinking of what happened on the battlefield. Or the war at all. This being was unlike anything she had ever seen.

Anthracite turned away, turning her head up to the source of the light, which was a grated hole above them.

“For not very long, you were like me, but you finished forming. Me… I am a failed diamond.”

From there, Yellow Diamond’s world had changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pearl next chapter. We'll get to see what she's been up to. Also some flashbacks to how her and Lapis met, and what kind of relationship the two developed.


	9. Chapter IX

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl is unsuccessfully wandering the city streets, trying to keep from the eyes of gems who could have her imprisoned for having no escort. Imprisoned, or worse. She is trapped with unwanted thoughts for a while until she is able to move on to get past district lines, and ultimately, to any of the warps.

Chapter 9

(Pearl)

Keeping to the shadows of the city was easy in the dark. But in the day, in the light, Pearl had to travel through alleys that opened to streets, and so she spent time instead hidden beneath some rusted metal sheets and rubble from the deteriorating building above her. It had been several days; or was it over a week? How many suns and how many constellations? Leaving Peridot that night had been a startling course of action. But she knew it was coming. 

_I can’t do this._

She was not completely recovered from being abandoned. 200 years was the longest she had been in the hands of any owner. Pearl had envisioned a life with Dark Emerald where she could forever feel secure, useful. Her life with DE, she thought, had been ideal, even. As ideal as a Pearl could ask. But Pearl had again proven herself a failure, and now she had been discovered to be defective all along. Her days learning gem culture and arts, of pleasing others, serving others in the high court, were gone. DE thought she was doing a service to Pearl by leaving her with the technicians. But Pearl was starting to believe everything would have been better if DE had simply pulverized her gem in one blow.

This being alive… it was… wrong. 

_Useless, repulsive, defective._

_Nothing._

Pearl lifted her head slightly from under her cloak. She looked above at the sky through an opening in her hovel. The sky was ash tinged with amaranth, the shade of any other day. 

_“You are not nothing.”_

Pearl clutched her chest.

_“You are a pearl. That makes you something.”_

While the loss of DE was traumatic, leaving Peridot had been upsetting as well. She tried keeping it from her thoughts, tried forgetting that those two months existed, but it was returning to the surface, and soon she realized she had nothing else to grasp. 

Her eyes watered, and she lowered her hood. Pearl had been around for some 4,300 thousand years. She had been in many hands: with rebel gems, gems from different sides of the diamond wars, various civil wars, with the upper class. Mostly the upper class, though she knew other kinds of lives as well. But in all that time, she had never known of a gem like Peridot, the heart of her peculiarities vested in literal thinking and incredible intelligence. This gem had closed herself off from the world, lived purposely average when she was in fact the opposite of average. Pearl didn’t understand why Peridot wasn’t working with the higher ranks, amongst the engineers. She could be amongst obsidians, supervising and planning gem colonies. Pearl, from their time together, thought she may have figured out why: Peridot, even if it was unconsciously, valued freedom.

Peridot was as diamond-fearing as any gem. She genuinely revered the Authority. That was apparent in conversations they’d had. But Peridot loved, more than anything, to be in her own world, which was simple despite its complicated nature. She seemed to discriminate only to fit in. 

The diamonds had been the saviors of their race; all other gems had failed. Nothing in the universe had been as perfect as the only four existing diamonds. Their laws were not questioned.

And yet the technician didn’t seem to understand that she was devising a treasonous disaster.

Pearl had never been allowed to be herself before. At least, the self that was compelled to learn without boundary. She had been more confident in these traits, seeing them less as a defect and more of an ability, since she had been under the technician’s ownership. Peridot had made use of her in ways she had always been told were wrong for a Pearl. Even if Peridot blatantly ignored that Pearl could do even more. 

Pearl had almost begun to feel… not only secure, but something else. Though Peridot was graceless and uncultured, not anything Pearl was used to, there were qualities in her she admired. Pearl knew there was more to Peridot than the time she spent in her own head, constructing. She saw it in her when Peridot thought Pearl wasn’t paying attention, or even when they spoke. Pearl wanted to understand her master completely.

She wanted Peridot to need her.

But Pearl had failed. Again.

_I’ll disappear._

It was a solution just short of purposely shattering her gem. A Pearl wandering alone without a master was not permitted. She had thought about going back to the hangar, but Peridot was there, and she was too ashamed to be in her presence. She feared further rejection. How could Peridot want anything more to do with her? Onyx would certainly throw her to the streets anyway. She had little options. She just had to leave the city by either exiting its walls or travelling the warps. Travelling the warps was ideal.

The only problem was the district checkpoints.

Pearl was stuck, unless she wanted to be caught- a situation that would lead to a very drawn out demise.

And what would happen if another gem claimed ownership of he? She couldn’t fight back. She had no rights. It seemed unlikely there would be other gems as merciful as Peridot, or as understanding.

Pearl desired to serve. In any way. But she had experienced something she didn’t know possible until she had spent time with Peridot.

She now had expectations.

_I can’t do this. I’m sorry._

She wiped tears away with her sleeve. If she couldn’t cross the district lines at the gates, she would find another way.

But for now, she had to stay in the alley.

The light was her enemy.

**********

_Some 1,000 years in the past:_

The new Authority palace had just been constructed. A week-long celebration took place, all from the upper class invited. They came from the capitol itself, from other gem controlled planets, colonies just beginning to be established. The last war had only been a few hundred years ago, and the battlefields were littered with forsaken planets sucked dry of their resources. From those ruins the opulent building high above the capitol was built. It was evening, the first night of the celebration. In the largest, most decorated hall, gems conversed, and were entertained by pearls, upper class gems trained in the arts, gems who called themselves mystics, gems who shared tales of exotic, faraway star systems.

Pearl was amongst a group under the direction of the palace theater, where she was the lead dancer. The group was comprised of twelve pearls, all in matching attire, with delicate silver coronets, iridescent white garbs. Pearl was adorned similarly, but her dress was tinged the faintest pink. Rose. She was the only one with her hair long, braided, and weaved with glimmering quartz dust. She, amongst all the pearls, stood out in beauty, in her nuanced presence. For the palace dwellers, seeing the dance troupe was always a much anticipated event. 

Pearl shyly peeped out at the sea of gems from behind heavy curtains. They were of various size and type, the din of their conversation like a cloud languidly thumping against the marble pillars. A waterfall of lights representing each diamond, White, Blue, Yellow, Pink, hung above them, crisscrossing with invisible string. The richness of the imagery, the sound, made Pearl want to rise above it all, fall against gravity into the stars. She loved her troupe. It was a period in her life she would later remember now and then with fondness. But tonight, she did not feel part of anything. She felt misplaced. It was a melancholy that descended without warning, and she could never identify its cause. 

In that moment, Pearl wanted to be the night, to curl up in the third moon. In this place, she was nothing, but it always felt as if an ascent would make her whole again.

“Lead Pearl. Be ready. We will perform in a few minutes.” A pearl with pale seaweed skin tapped her shoulder. It was one of the pearls not afraid to converse with the lead. Caste infested all levels of the empire, even amongst pearls, their own kind.

Pearl felt sorry for her. It was likely she would be relocated from the troupe. In the palace, the weak pearl had become a victim of evening rendezvous with various members of the court. The director of the troupe, Pezottaite, wanted nothing to do with such paltry scandal. It was distracting to her dancers. “Relocated” meant she would likely be demoted to a lesser position in the palace. The gently green pearl had worked hard to be a dancer, though she was the most fragile of all the pearls there. Now she would end up back where she started.

Pearl had, covertly, spoken with her, as the pearl had confided what she knew was eventually to come.

“Thank you.” Pearl smiled at her. The other pearl smiled, but not without a sadness that was always in her features.

Pearl again pushed the curtain back slightly.

She would pretend.

Pretend that this was all practice for the day she would become whatever it was she often felt she needed to be.

On the stage, leading the others as the curtains rose, Pearl closed her eyes, and for most of the beginning, did her routine perfectly in blindness. Pirouettes, dips, twirls, flutters, lunges, floating from one end of the stage to the other- pearl didn’t need sight. This was time to spend dreaming.

Midway through, her eyes opened as she rose from a coiled position on the floor. In the fluctuating stage lights, Pearl’s eyes were luminous pools of blue. She could hear several members of the audience murmuring of her beauty. It was nothing unusual to be complimented about. But it always made her both pleased and uneasy. 

In the back of the crowd, against a pillar to the side, was a figure cloaked in leafy layers of royal blue. The face was completely hidden under more layers of diaphanous material. Gold tinged the edges of the garb, reflecting now and then in varying angles of light. 

The figure had two just as mysterious guards, one on either side. They were much taller than the delicate figure. Pearl thought, for a moment, that she could see a mouth, a moving mouth. But she wasn’t sure.

Applause broke her concentration. She hadn’t realized her routine had ended without her having to think of it at all. She bowed with the other pearls, and exited the stage. Pezottaite gathered them in a circle, sharing her critique while still fresh. Then she excused them.

“You have some hours to spend amongst the party.”

All the pearls had almost fallen over with delight. That kind of freedom was a rare treat. Pearl normally would have been just as enthusiastic, but something was still wrong. She wanted to be away from all of this. She only wanted to go outside. She eyed the balcony. Pearl looked around to see if anyone would disapprove. No one was there. Only two gems speaking between the pillars, not quite outside, not quite inside. She was certain where she wanted to be.

Just not why.

“That’s her.”

“I thought she was dead.”

“And I thought she was the fabrication of lonely colonists.”

Stifled laughter. There were several hushed voices.

“She is a guest of Blue Diamond. I hear she will only be here until the end of the week.”

“So, only for the palace festivities.”

“… she isn’t part of the court? If Blue Diamond…”

“Apparently, she has kept her allegiance ambiguous.”

One of the gems scoffed.

“Well, she can’t keep that nonsense up for long.”

“I don’t know. She is supposed to be… very powerful…”

Pearl didn’t want to linger any longer on the other side of the column. Though probably safely hidden, as the columns were very wide, Pearl did not want to risk being caught “spying” on any of the elite. She knew how to be soundless in movement, and slipped through to the massive balcony the hung over Blue Diamond’s water garden. 

Pearl wondered if they were speaking about the figure she’d seen earlier in the audience, who did indeed, seem unaffiliated with any court. 

Pearl toed over the black marble, finding a place to sit on the balustrade. 

She was curious.

But her motivation was gone. 

Pearl looked above at a sky radiant with stars. She sighed.

“You’re a pearl. A _real_ pearl.”

Pearl turned around, startled.

Before her was the stranger, her guards no longer with her. At least Pearl thought that at first. But she turned to see them standing a few yards off beneath the colonnade, helmets tipped over their eyes, armor covering them entirely. Pearl couldn’t imagine them ever being able to make any convincing sounds of life. They were like statues. Truly.

She turned her attention back on the figure, who was now, very slowly shedding layers of gossamer as she walked over to Pearl.

Pearl wasn’t sure how to react. This was a gem she had never seen before, or heard of. And, apparently, members of the court weren’t very familiar with her either.

Pearl deferred, bowing her head, not sure what to do in this informal setting.

As the figure stood close in front of Pearl, Pearl could see that she was tall just up to Pearl’s shoulders. 

And she was barefoot.

“You’re a pearl.” The figure finally turned over her hood, darker blue hair falling at her collar bones.

Pearl nodded.

“Yes, I am a pearl. Is there something I can do for you, my lady?”

The other said nothing, and in the light of the second and third moon, Pearl saw the abyss of deep blue in her eyes.

“No,” Pearl thought she could see the blue gem’s hands shaking as they reached up for the sides of Pearl’s face, “No. I thought… I thought you had… you don’t know what you are, do you?”

Pearl, again, wasn’t sure how to respond.

Finally, small, pale blue hands touched her cheeks, thin fingers behind her ears.

Pearl stood still, wanting to ask questions, wanting to touch the blue gem’s hands, feeling even more displaced than before. She found herself matching the gaze of the delicate face looking up at her. There was a seriousness there that was beginning to concern Pearl. Higher class gems usually had a different look in their eyes when they wanted something from a pearl, like anger, or indifference, or desire. 

Pearl had never been so carefully studied for something other than use. 

“… I’m sorry,” the mysterious gem’s hands fell back to her sides, “I am Lapis Lazuli. The last of my kind. Just as you are the last of yours.”

Pearl bowed again.

Lapis shook her head.

“Please, none of that. You are as rare as me. We are equals.”

Those were not words Pearl could comprehend. Since consciousness, she was told she had been created to serve. She accepted this, as the world around her did not allow her any choice. She had known nothing else, had no expectations of anything else. 

But now this beautiful gem before her was, very resolutely, calling her an equal.

“My lady, I am afraid I do not understand.”

Lapis Lazuli’s eyes shifted, and she took Pearl’s hand, leading her down the steps into the garden.

She seemed to be searching for a more covert location. They found themselves on the edge of the fortress, so that the drop from the palace was only feet away. Pearl’s eyes widened at the city below, and she walked back against the wall, vines and thin streams of water dripping down beside her. The sounds of the palace were too faint to hear.

Lapis sat herself near the edge, legs crossed. Pearl assumed Lapis wanted her to sit, and so she did, though very hesitantly. The drop would shatter a gem. Shatter anything.

“It has been so long since our home was destroyed. Since all of us were exterminated. I asked if you knew what you are, and your silence has answered,” Lapis glanced over at Pearl, “pearls were our scholars, our wise. My race, we were wild, mythic. My home- our home- is the ocean. Divine ocean.” Lapis looked up in the stars, brow furrowed.

“All I have ever wanted was to go home. But home does not exist. Not anymore.”

“… but pearls are manufactured-”

“They’re hybrids, from broken gems and artificial material. But not you. Your gem is oval. The pearls of the Authority have circular gems. A subtle but very telling difference. But I know you. I saw them take you away. After the slaughter. They held you othehe same ship where I was diplomat… at that point, my role was irrelevant, but I did not want to risk imprisonment. Or death. Looking back, I wish sometimes that I had never surrendered… what they did to our people. To us.” Her hands clenched, and she stared out at the city.

Pearl felt the anguish in her words. It was a barrage of information that she struggled to understand. But Pearl was concerned for the blue gem.

Empathy came easy with how she spoke, and Pearl wanted to comfort her but didn’t know how.

“I live across the star system, amongst the privileged and elite. But I don’t like the capitol. The expanse of gem-controlled planets is not all bad. It can be beautiful. But I miss home. I miss my home.” Lapis suddenly grasped Pearl’s hand, still looking out at the nothing of the city, “But I’ve found you. A part of home.” 

Pearl looked down, quietly panicked.

“… so I was taken away. But I’ve never known your planet. I have never had an origin. I don’t.” Pearl spoke that last word with hesitation.

Lapis Lazuli looked down at her hand over Pearl’s, then up at her. 

“You don’t remember because you had just emerged from the sea. All the pearls there were obliterated. But they saved one. You.”

“But how… did I end up here?”

“I don’t know.”

“…” Pearl blushed.

Lapis sighed.

“I would take you with me, Pearl. Gems have long forgotten my home, the life there. They don’t know our history because it was erased. But the Authority watches me closely. Always. I don’t want them to find out about you.”

“… Lapis Lazuli, I’m afraid that I am, well,” Pearl’s fingers trembled in Lazuli’s, “I-um, I d-don’t understand. I… I don’t…”

Lapis retracted her hand, placing it in her lap.

“They’ve stolen your life… and I gave them mine.”

Pearl had not minded the blue gem’s fingers. She hoped the other would touch her again. She was in the company of a being so much higher in rank who treated her as if she were at the same level. This gem was telling Pearl that they were at the same. Or, at least, from the same place. A place not here, but faraway and now devoid of life. She felt slightly skeptical, and wondered if this were some cruel ruse. But Lapis seemed, felt, genuine. There was grace in her tone. 

“Pearl.” She spoke her name with startling familiarity.

“Yes?”

“May I show you something?”

“… of course.”

Pearl watched as the delicate gem removed her gauzy shawl. She held it out, and for a moment it was almost caught in the steady breeze. As she grasped it, she held it out, and seemed to change her mind, releasing the ethereal article of clothing to the night. She turned her back to Pearl, pausing for a few moments. And then…

A soft light from the gem between her shoulder blades expanded, more and more, and Pearl could see the water become something incredible, fluid: expanding wings.

Lapis Lazuli turned to her, holding out a hand.

“Every moment makes up for all we lost, and I don’t want to let it go.”

She stayed with her hand outstretched until Pearl took it. 

“What do you mean?”

Lapis turned toward the city, the sky,

“It means we dance.”

**********

It had been several hours until twilight. She had, during that time in the alley, remembered too many things and accomplished little in planning. She had the vague idea of using the tunnels. She knew her way through the maintenance passages, having studied the plans when DE had copies for review. Pearl had a decent grasp of the city’s entire layout, in particular the capitol district. She would have to guess, and reach very far back in her memory to fill in the gaps. These outer districts couldn’t be that much different.

And they weren’t.

As soon as night descended, Pearl was able to slip into the underground. It was not a path guaranteed to be desolate; in fact, many gems worked down in the tunnels, and depending on their schedule, Pearl risked running into others. So within the tunnel system was another path of cover, the passages travelled by those having higher clearance. Pearl could remember some of the codes, and since those paths were less occupied, she would likely be alright. At least to cross the first checkpoint. 

She looked around, the tunnels dark and damp. Moss peeked through the cracks in the rock, and water dripped through thin fissures in the ceiling. She had never been down in this place, so she kept careful to make minimal noise, and dare not use her gem for light. She stumbled now and then, the ground uneven, and her vision obscured. 

What would Peridot be doing right now? Is she working past her shift, like she often does at the end of the week? Or was she at the capsule, working on her creations? Or maybe Peridot was doing one of those things Pearl had been curious about. Maybe Peridot was somewhere thinking of stars. Thinking about something other than completing the next task.

_Are you speaking to the empty room? Are you remembering how much you prefer to be alone?_

It was not a good time to be thinking about Peridot, or anything she still hadn’t recovered from. She needed to focus.

“I’m sorry, I got held up at the palace gates. These damn checkpoints.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“She should worry.”

“What?”

“SHHHHHH.”

Pearl heard four voices. She backed against the curving wall, crouching into the darkest shadow.

“…yeah, ok. Sorry.”

“So what do we have?”

“We have schedules, of every raid into the next few weeks.” 

“We’ll be in contact with everyone, so that they’ll be prepared.”

“Good. What else?”

“Well, we may be able to get a copy of the most current colony reports from A7-b7678. It’ **s** evidence.”

Pearl was realizing that this was no conversation between urban maintenance technicians.

“That will be something. Do you have a timeline?”

“Anywhere from today to next month. That assignment will take a while to complete. It puts many of our gems in danger.”

“Well, no rush. All of this is going to be gradual, just like the Authority decrees. We have to match the campaign’s pace to keep undetected. We don’t want a repeat of that uprising on the outskirts. I’m still angry about that.”

“Well, it isn’t just you.”

There was a long Pause. Pearl picked up her head, looking out at the gems from her shielding dark.

These were rebel gems. But not just those in the lower class.

One gem was an elite of Pink Diamond’s court.

Pearl stifled a gasp.

Why would an elite be working with rebels? This gem had a wealth of valuable of knowledge that was being used for treason. But why? Pearl didn’t understand the rebels. They made unrealistic demands. They asked for impossible freedoms They all ended up dead.

“… any word of colony PD-8919?”

“… the eradication continues. The Authority will not be slowing progress for the new kindergartens.”

“Is Sphene able to get anyone out there? To get more refugees?”

A silence. Some muffled words Pearl could not hear.

“… it doesn’t make sense. Why so focused on the kindergartens. Sometimes I don’t think that is their only objective.”

“Does it matter right now?”

“Yes… but I don’t have answers. So we meet at the…”

Pearl stayed hidden, hugging her knees to her chest. She did not feel well enough to move, and lowered her head into her crossed arms. She had to talk to DE. She had to let her know. She knew the Pink Diamond elite. Pearl had seen her often enough at the capitol palace. 

Pearl needed to protect DE, protect other gems from rebel harm.

The rebels only brought destruction. 

It didn’t matter if DE was her master or not. This was about protecting the empire.

She gasped again, with some pain.

No one would listen to her.

No one wanted to hear anything a Pearl had to say. Especially not a defective one.

_“You aren’t nothing.”_

Pearl decided she didn’t want to forget after all. Even if it hurt.

_“You are not nothing. You are definitely a Pearl…”_

Pearl repeated the scene, the words, as best as she could remember. 

Slumped against the wall, unable, again, to move without risk, Pearl replayed the scene in her mind, hoping it would eventually hold true for her.

_“… and that makes you something.”_

No one, other than Lapis, had ever spoken so kindly to her. 

_Why would you tell me that…_

_Why did you let me stay._

_I know you didn’t want me._

Pearl was too tired to realize, some hours later, that she was sobbing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *NOTE: This was really meant for the previous chapter, but the enormity of the diamonds in canon is going to be ignored. Although it would have been interesting to write their characters like this. But I'm too far in to change anything. Oh well.
> 
> Next chapter is Pearl/Peridot.
> 
> What happens next? Well, probably the stuff you readers have been waiting for. 
> 
> The "stuff" I've also been waiting for.


	10. Chapter X: Peridot & Pearl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot is still in shock over Yellow Diamond's visit. The intentions of Yellow Diamond are unclear, and Peridot has a sense that her leader is working outside Authority parameters. Her anxiety is heightened by Pearl's absence, who has been on the streets for over two weeks. She gets word of a possible Pearl sighting, and wastes no time in following up on this lead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Upon learning this information from the episode "Message received", I went and edited Peridot's identification, as she is referred to by Onyx and the other technician she speaks to in this chapter. I like to imagine there are other gem creatures on Homeworld, of course nothing organic, but like the various creatures we've seen in the series (corrupted gems aside). I'll get into describing those creatures later.

Chapter X

(Peridot & Pearl)

It took several days for Peridot to find her bearings and process the meeting at her capsule. Yellow had Diamond spoken to her. Yellow Diamond had been in her home. Yellow Diamond wanted Peridot to work for her. Yellow Diamond had _touched her_.

It was a covert matter for which she was needed, and whatever it was, it was something exclusive to Yellow Diamond, and not the Authority. What that meant, Peridot couldn’t guess. She wasn’t about to get hung up on specifics, not in a situation like this. One of the diamonds, one of the four supreme leaders of the universe, had chosen Peridot specifically. To be needed in this way by a diamond, even for a short time, was something every gem desired. Peridot was terrified of her, but also, in a strange way, entranced. She wasn’t sure how to explain it. She knew she had come face to face with greatness. Peridot had, for the first time, a very solid sense of value.

Even if she didn’t know for what purpose she was being valued.

Had she been made for Yellow Diamond from the start?

The question had come and gone like an apparition, and the complete thought was fragmented as she ruminated over the meeting with her diamond. _Her_ diamond? 

_Back up_. These feelings, while exciting, were also alarming. As time passed, stress addled her excitement. Is this not in some way what Peridot had always feared? Being a vessel of the empire? Did it mean something different if it was not some ambiguous figure, but rather a diamond who would be assuming possession of her talent? There was something cryptic about the whole thing. And yet she could not tear herself away.

There was the other matter. The matter of Pearl.

Peridot was angry at first, then indifferent, and then sometimes she would actually forget. Ultimately it was hard to forget. To forget someone’s entire presence when that presence had been constantly there and in such close proximity. For two months, eight weeks, at the hangar and in her capsule, never leaving her side, had been Pearl. Pearl who she had insulted and berated. But at the same time, she _liked_ the servant. She had never felt more comfortable in another gem’s presence as she did with her. Maybe it was because Pearl wasn’t a real gem. Not real. Again unaware of her own feelings and how to express them, Peridot saw there was more to Pearl than being decorative or serving. It was an absurd conclusion to see Pearl equal to any other gem in thought and capability. Eventually, it hit Peridot hard, and without warning. And she hadn’t even been thinking of Pearl in that particular moment.

She was in her makeshift lab, having just left the hangar. Onyx still hadn’t forgiven Peridot for the Yellow Diamond incident, but extra work didn’t tire her when she thought of Yellow Diamond. A nervous energy seized her that was only settled when she worked harder. Onyx was genuinely puzzled. Peridot, very pleased.

But back home the quiet closed around her in a way it never had before. Far from the focus of her work, far from the hundreds of others and the cacophony of equipment, she now had only herself. Something she had always looked forward to. Something she still looked forward to. 

But being alone now had contrast to what it felt like with company.

She stopped what she was starting to do at the desk, letting a few seconds settle.

“Pearl.” She said it softly.

Nothing.

“Pearl?” Louder.

Peridot felt that uncomfortable feeling again in her diaphragm. 

Anxiety made it difficult to focus.

“ _You idiot._ ” This was not an insult directed at Pearl.

She dropped her head on the counter, muttering about interface codes, trying not to think.

It didn’t work. 

She hid her face in her arms, sighed.

_I miss her._

Even the thought was embarrassing.

_What is wrong with me? The companionship of another gem serves no purpose, not to me. A technician of my caliber gains nothing from this kind of connection. If anything, it is a hindrance to my work… Although, she had become my assistant. Certainly there isn’t anything wrong with wanting an assistant. But an assistant is a minor amenity, one I shouldn’t constantly be thinking about. Even right now, I’m wasting my time… But it’s also true that she has surprising capabilities in my field of work. If I took the time to train her properly, she could be of even further use._

Peridot began tapping the counter. Repetitive movements helped her think.

_This is not something I feel comfortable with, but for the sake of utility, the only logical thing for me to do is let my prejudices aside, for my sake and the sake of my work. So maybe there is some justification in my recent fixation on her absence. But that doesn’t explain why it hurts. There is a yet unidentified disturbance in my physical form, whose intensity seems to correlate to my thoughts about the servant. I may have sustained some secondary internal affliction from Onyx’s attack. But this feels different. I don’t understand it. If I could just understand it, then maybe I could make it stop._

Peridot buried her face deeper, feeling only worse than before.

_Even if I found my servant, there is still the matter of her having gone in the first place. She looked different when she described her previous master. She lived in the palace. She’s defective, certainly, but she came from a life of relative luxury and privilege, only to end up with a technician in a very mediocre district. But pearls are made to serve, right? It doesn’t matter… because she has to… no matter who it is… she serves… doesn’t matter._

“You left me.” The words were muffled in her arms, “You didn’t want to be here. With me.”

Finally the feeling had become too much. All of it came up in every form the feeling had ever taken. Being alone on purpose. Not understanding anyone. Focusing completely on her work. Not wanting to bother with anyone or anything else: Contrary to what she had been practicing her whole life, Pearl actually motivated her to work harder, and had inspired ideas she would not have come up with had Pearl not been there.

Peridot made a noise that surprised her, something like a groan, but more pathetic. 

_Damn it… am I… AM I CRYING?_

Peridot shot up from the counter and furiously rubbed her face.

 _NO_ , she thought, _I’m not. I won’t._

She began taking out her projects, working vigorously, as if she were running from the next thought, trying to beat a race that wouldn’t end.

Whether or not she was winning or losing, at least she was doing something.

Bleary-eyed, Peridot phased through her tasks at the hangar with mild aggression. She hadn’t stopped moving since the night before. Her right arm still hurt. The injury had traveled up her shoulder, all the way down to each finger. She looked down at it with disgust, as if the arm itself was not part of her, but some inferior attachment that was working improperly. One she couldn’t fix

She could retreat to her gem.

But she had never done so, and she had never seen anyone do it. How long would it take? What if she missed her shift? What if she were crushed? She would be defenseless. There was no one in her life who could make sure she stayed safe.

“How can you work?” Another peridot leaned over, wide-eyed, to gawk at her injury.

Peridot glared back.

“Doe it matter?”

The other peridot shrugged. She didn’t walk away.

“Well the real reason I came over is to ask you about your servant. It’s been, what, two weeks since she’s been here?”

“And?” Peridot narrowed her eyes.

“Geesh,” the other Peridot frowned back, shaking her head, “I was just gonna tell you that word is going around about a pearl wandering the city. First they said our border, then they said the next, whatever, but apparently she hasn’t gotten far.”

Peridot tried not to flinch at the other technician’s revelation, but she did.

“What?”

“I just thought I’d let you know. In case that one is yours or something,” the peridot sized her up, “Seriously, lighten up, 5XG.”

Peridot stared dumbly as the other walked away. She supposed she had made somewhat of a display of herself since having Pearl. But that wasn’t important. 

So Pearl was still around.

Sort of.

She had never been more anxious to be done with her shift as she had that day. She watched twilight fall out the hangar windows, looking from there to her work and back constantly. Onyx noticed, and though unaware of why her technician was so bent on getting of there, she saw it as an opportunity to make Peridot’s life a little harder. For good measure.

“Where are you going?” Onyx stood in her way as she attempted to exit the building. 

Peridot looked up with a frown before saluting her superior.

“My shift is over, ma’am.”

“No. It isn’t. I want you back at your station. I need you to work a few hours longer.

Peridot’s bulging eyes were enough to satisfy Onyx. And to think she’s have a few hours more to see her absolutely miserable.

“But- I- I have to go.” Peridot, like everyone else in building, had no excuse good enough to deny such an order.

“To do what?” She emphasized each word.

Peridot didn’t even want to look at her, for fear of being driven to say something entirely out of line.

“I’ll return to my work at once.” A curt salute sent her on her way.

Being set back a few hours drove her into all out panic mode. She didn’t even make a stop at her capsule like she had originally planned. Going off what the other technician had told her, she made for the border.

It would be a long night.

Pearl had hovered around the tunnels, finding them safer than the surface. _Perhaps this will be my new home,_ she mused without mirth. Soon she had memorized every path, and the schedules of maintenance crews. She found herself dawdling around in hopes of overhearing more rebel meetings. But that wasn’t likely. She didn’t think they were foolish enough to use the same location more than once. At least not in such a short span of time.

 _Cave Pearl, servant of the sewer._ At first she almost wanted to cry, but then it made her laugh. She had to cover her mouth, the echo travelling far. Still in shock, not everything had come together. She veered from misery to optimism to indifference within a span of hours. Alone, she studied the star maps, musing what it might have been like had she been good enough for Peridot. She took her time tediously mapping out the warps, marking places as best she could remember. She came up with several different paths they might use, and put them away neatly back in her gem.

She couldn’t get it off her mind to wonder what Peridot were doing. Working, of course. Probably getting a lot more done now that Pearl had gone. But she could pretend. If she had been a proper pearl she could have grown closer to her new (now previous) master. Pearl had generally won the hearts of each master who possessed her, at least, as in she had been pleasing enough that they complimented her more than put her down. But there was a huge difference between those relationships and her relationship to Peridot: Peridot never once hurt her. And there were many opportunities, justified ones, where she could have. And although genuinely annoyed, Peridot’s insults were less purposeful and more based off what she understood of pearl’s place in society. She could even say that Peridot seemed afraid of her.

Pearl stopped herself. All of that was speculation. She didn’t know what Peridot was thinking. This was another one of Pearl’s defects. Hope. 

Pearl sighed, standing up from where she had crouched in a dead end. She’d picked up a large pipe that had been dumped with some other materials in one of the tunnels. It was her height, light in weight but heavy enough to be swung. To do damage. Though massively disappointed in herself, heartbroken, Pearl was not going to let herself be taken advantage of by some low-ranking scum. She had at least that standard. When she decided to go, or if it simply came down to her time, she wouldn’t let herself die with such indignity.

That, and there were various filthy mineral monsters that she had decided she would rid the tunnels of. Someone had to upkeep this place.

She had read about the training of gem warriors in various records back at the palace. Recalling some of that information, she projected simulations from her gem, carefully imitating what she saw. She had spent several hours learning basic tactics, being able to crush scampering mineral vermin that ate at the walls.

Reflecting about the past, killing tunnel pests: This is how Pearl passed the time.

She swung her pipe in quick whirl, for a small moment feeling pleased with herself, forgetting her current situation. Maybe if she kept moving, she could outrun her own heart.

“…..”

Pearl turned to the darkness of the tunnel, her weapon outstretched. She’d heard a sound. Something trudging softly through the water.

Pearl stayed quiet. It was more than likely another limestone rat, but it could also be another gem. She always erred on the side of caution.

Pearl toed against the way, staying very still against it and gripping the pipe tighter.

“…Ulgh…what is this stuff? Rats. Great. There are rats down here.”

Pearl sighed with exasperation. It _was_ a gem. She was going to have to be even more careful.

The steps were getting closer.

Pearl might have to use the pipe.

Even closer, the steps.

She hadn’t used it on another gem yet.

The sound stopped.

Silence.

“HEY-”

Something reached out to where she stood in the dark. A shot of adrenaline gave her no time to think, only act, and she swung the pipe like a bat into her assailant. But she seemed to have missed, swining at the air.

Something sharp and unexpected pierced through her thigh.

“Ah, AH, AHHH.” Pearl was trying not to cry out, but she’d come out of the dark into the crossway of the tunnels, in the dim light.

She looked down to find Peridot, clutching at her leg, her sharp teeth sunk into her.

“Oh! Oh Mistress!” Pearl managed to be sympathetic, despite the fact that Peridot had attacked her exactly as one of the limestone rats might have.

Peridot opened her tightly shut eyes, releasing her clamped mouth. She stepped back, eyes full of surprise, confusion, some apology.

Well, she definitely hadn’t expected to find Pearl like this.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING IN THE DARK? DOWN _HERE_ , OF ALL PLACES!” Peridot’s slight moment of understanding was erased in wails of frustration.

Pearl stepped back, rubbing the teeth marks in her leg, “Please, keep it down. They’ll hear.”

“ _WHO?”_ Even Peridot’s whispers were rough.

“Workers. Sometimes palace guards. If they find me…. Mistress you could get in trouble too for being down here. Please leave.”

Peridot’s expression went from confused to furious to defeated to all those things at once. 

“Leaving _with_ you.”

Pearl didn’t understand.

“I know the way out, I can show-”

Peridot looked down at the murky water,“Can you just, argh, arghhhhh, just shut up- I mean, just- um, uh ARGHHH!”

Without second thought she grabbed Pearl’s hand, pulling her as she marched off to the entrance she had come from.

“Unless you know a better way out.” Peridot grumbled.

Pearl was confused, not sure if she should be relieved. She wanted to feel happy, but she was too flustered.

“Um, well, you’re going the right way.”

“So this is good.”

“Yes.”

“Ok. Good.”

“Yes. Good.”

They walked in silence a few minutes, and Pearl finally gathered the courage to ask just what was happening.

“Peridot? Oh,” Before that, she had to apologize, “Sorry I called you mistress earlier. I’m also sorry I swung a pipe at you.”

She couldn’t see Peridot’s expression, but she managed to hear her grumble in response.

“I’m sorry I bit you.”

It was almost a comical sentence.

“That’s ok. Where are we going?”

“Home.”

“Home?”

“Yeah,” Peridot slowed down, then stopped, “You _want_ to go back, right?”

There was an alarming amount of vulnerability in Peridot’s tone. 

Her sincerity was revealing something that made Pearl very sad.

Angry at herself.

“Yes. Yes I really, really would like to go home. Please.” The words tumbled gracelessly from Pearl’s mouth. She couldn’t stop herself from giving a squeeze to Peridot’s hand for emphasis. Peridot didn’t wince. Pearl thought she even felt Peridot squeeze back.

“…good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... so I promised Pearl and Peridot, and, well... we sort of got that. I promise next chapter rolls straight into a continuation of this last scene, back at the capsule where these two have some things to sort out. And both a lot to say, as well as a lot to not say.... dun dun dun.


	11. Chapter XI: Peridot and Pearl part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back at the capsule, Pearl isn't sure what has become of her role during the time she was gone. Peridot is overcome with exhaustion, only becoming aware of it now that she has found Pearl. Pearl is able to coax some very needed thoughts from her master, and the two begin to establish a new chapter of their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted rain. So I used rain. For whatever reason Peridot had no idea what rain was in canon, well, i threw that completely out the window. So yeah. (Even though her not knowing what rain is in canon still baffles me). I hope I didn't divert from any of my established characterizations. It's really hard keeping that balance, while also establishing that, yes, they are, or at least will be, attracted to each other. Well, just read... and ignore me. Please.

XI

Pearl & Peridot, 

Part 2

The walk back to the capsule was subdued. Peridot had eventually let go of Pearl’s hand, no longer yanking her along. In fact, they walked beside each other, Peridot making sure she wasn’t walking ahead of Pearl. They were at their district borders, so they had roughly two hours to go. Pearl glanced around at the buildings, which were getter smaller in size as they reached home ( _home_ , Pearl thought with mild delirium). The working class spanned several districts, but the number of Authority force stations were more numerous the farther one was away from the main capitol. Security had heightened. On the surface, there was nothing to warrant this. Pearl thought of what she had overheard in the tunnels. She stared up at the clouded sky: no stars, no moons above. 

She was useless with the information she had learned. What if she told Peridot…

No.

Yes.

Pearl couldn’t make up her mind. In the end, she decided against telling her, but without reason the matter dimmed her conscience. 

Her eyes fell back on Peridot. What was happening? Pearl didn’t want to understand.

She studied the technician, whose silence was disorientating. It wasn’t the silence when Peridot immersed herself in a project. It was a morose silence. Pearl could feel it. Her master was exhausted but fixated on something. Peridot kept her right arm clenched against her chest, and it was so unnatural and unnecessary a posture that she knew Peridot was hurt. She could think of all kinds of reasons why. Guilt flooded within her, and she lowered her head, looking away from the other in shame.

But Peridot was in some other world. Something, though slight, had changed about her.

Half-way back to the apartment, the skies darkened almost black. It rained, a steady downpour. Pearl looked up and blinked at the first few drops, throwing over the hood of her cape. Peridot was ignoring the change in weather. She didn’t seem to or care.

Pearl stopped.

She couldn’t take it any longer.

Peridot looked up at her, that flat, perplexed look on her face.

_She’s so tired._

Pearl opened her cape and reached out her hand.

“Get under.”

Peridot wasn’t disgusted. Not annoyed. She was blank.

Pearl sighed.

“You don’t have to, but it’s ok.”

_It’s ok._

Despite _wanting_ to be successful in her gesture, Pearl was still surprised when Peridot half-heartedly narrowed her eyes and shrugged, walking over and hiding herself under Pearl’s cape.

Pearl was relieved.

The small gem looked up at Pearl with an uncharacteristic shyness, something between a thank you and apology. Pearl caught the blush beneath her visor, and almost wanted to pick her up then, and just carry her home. But Peridot would definitely not stand for that. Pearl wanted her trust. Not her affection. At least, she didn’t think the latter was possible. 

Pearl half-smiled down at her, and they continued the walk back.

The aura of silence continued in the capsule. Pearl led her mistress to her chair at the work counter, and then began the process of ridding herself the rain. She pressed lightly on her gem and was soon in a dry set of clothes. She returned the cloak to her gem, an item not summoned from her powers, but something that had been given to her. 

Pearl sat on the floor, drying out her long hair with linen.

She was trying to identify the change. Had it been her absence? Maybe some of it. But that wasn’t it entirely. Pearl, having lived amongst those that layered themselves in endless secrets, could sense when something was wrong.

But what.

Peridot palmed her gem into dry clothes, but seemed too weighted to care about drying her hair. She slumped on the counter with her cheek on one arm, eyes closed and softly muttering a series of numbers.

It seemed to calm her.

So Pearl waited.

“Um,” she began, now brushing her hair, “ah hm.”

What could she say?

So she didn’t.

When she finished, she stepped over to Peridot, and this time without asking, reached down to dry Peridot’s hair. Peridot growled, and Pearl could have sworn she heard a hiss, but in the end, Peridot allowed it.

As Pearl did this, Peridot sat up.

“What were you doing there?”

Pearl looked away, hands still in the other’s head

“I was… well. I thought… I’m sorry.”

There was a pause.

“That’s a very unsatisfactory answer.”

“I know.”

Peridot waited a few moments before she spoke again. A small “mmm” here and there made Pearl smile.

“ _Why_ did you leave?” Peridot turned her head slightly back at her.

Pearl paused, then continued, now brushing out Peridot’s ridiculous mane.

“I-”

“What are you doing?” Peridot growled again, but her tone was more one of confusion, and maybe curiosity.

“Brushing your hair.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re a mess.” Pearl wasn’t sure why she used that particular string of words. Not any way to speak to her owner.

“Whatever.”

“You always say that.” Pearl couldn’t shut her mouth.

Peridot didn’t say anything. Pearl wasn’t sure how to translate the silence.

“I don’t understand you.” Peridot spoke slowly, and turned to look at her again, quite serious.

“That’s because I’m broken.” Pearl hadn’t meant to say that either. 

Peridot frowned, then turned away.

This was a very unfamiliar experience. Pearl felt almost outside herself. None of it made sense. They were talking in a manner Pearl had never spoken to anyone before. The closest thing she could relate it to was with how she conversed other pearls, but even that was a strained interaction. 

Well, there was also _her_ , the gem made of water and a world so far it was myth. That experience… was also very different.

This.

What was this.

She didn’t know what to do, and yet she felt so comfortable doing it.

Pearl sighed, having finished brushing. She placed both hands in Peridot’s scalp, and ran her long fingers through to smooth out her work. 

That was about the limit for Peridot.

She flinched violently, sinking so deep in the chair that she found herself under the counter, hugging her knees against herself.

“What was that?” She squeaked, her voice cracking with panic.

Pearl frowned.

“ _My hands_.”

“NO.” Was all Peridot could get out.

Pearl laughed quietly in her arm, then realized how disturbed she’d made her master.

“Oh,” Pearl slid to her knees to where Peridot was under the counter, “I’m sorry to have displeased you. I always did this for Dark Emerald… I forget sometimes…” Pearl sighed.

Peridot sunk even deeper into herself, narrowing her eyes at Pearl.

“Just don’t touch me.”

Pearl knew Peridot didn’t it mean it personally. She understood that this was simply something Peridot found distressing. But Pearl was still a little stung. She was used to close contact. She missed it. 

_I want to take care of you…_

She would respect Peridot’s boundaries.

She couldn’t help the obviously disappointed look on her face, though.

Peridot managed to narrow her eyes even further. She was disappearing into the dark of the counter at this point.

“…at least… ask.” She couldn’t look at Pearl when she said it, and was so hushed Pearl thought she’d imagined the words.

Pearl blushed, eyes widened a bit.

“No, no. I apologize again. And don’t worry-”

“I’m NOT worried.”

“Right... I’m not sure why you want me around,” Pearl laughed and felt the hurt in her chest, “I only seem to upset you. But I’m trying. I’m just not sure what you want.”

Peridot eased up, raising her head slowly from where she hid. Pearl thought she could see something new in Peridot’s eyes. Regret.

The conflicted gem tried to lean forward but the pain in her arm bolted straight through both ends.

A piercing screech made Pearl cringe.

“Small lady!” Pearl didn’t want to touch her and make Peridot more upset, but she did lean forward.

“Small lady? UGH.” Peridot’s voice cracked again, and she groaned, holding on to her arm.

“I’m sorry.”

“…..”

“What happened?”

Peridot retreated again to the shadows, looking away, “nothing. I moved it wrong.”

Was Peridot even trying to lie?

‘Ok. When did you “move it wrong”?’

“….mhm.”

“Small-” Pearl cleared her throat, “ _Peridot_ , now, I don’t want to upset you –again- but you can’t ignore this and keep working. You’ve been like this a while, haven’t you?”

Peridot looked down at the floor, scratching at it with her uninjured hand.

“… a day.”

Pearl was silent.

“…ok, a few days.”

Pearl stayed silent.

“UGH, alright, almost a week!” Peridot looked up at her, clearly upset.

“Why don’t you just retreat to your gem?” Pearl mirrored her master’s position, and crouched hugging her knees in front of her.

She kept her eyes on the frustrated technician, who resumed scratching mindlessly at the floor. Peridot moved her fingers slowly but forcefully into something she couldn’t accomplish.

Pearl knew her well enough not to pursue that particular question anymore. She’d try something different.

“Can I see?” She said softly.

Minutes passed, but Pearl didn’t move. Peridot not telling her to leave was cue for her to stay. 

Pearl had all the time in the world.

This is what she had been made for.

And there was hardly any learning this time. She finally admitted to herself that, for whatever reason, she’d liked Peridot from the start.

Peridot finally stopped, though hesitantly, attacking the floor with her nails. With some suspicion, she moved out into the light and held out her arm, looking away with tightly shut eyes as if Pearl might injure her further.

Pearl exhaled. When her fingers touched Peridot’s skin, the other shut her eyes tighter. But Pearl continued, handling it as if Peridot might collapse into nothing. She pressed into it, trying to find the source of all this stress. Finally her fingers grazed over a grotesque knot under Peridot’s skin, that, on closer inspection, was also discolored an angry scarlet. 

Pearl examined at Peridot with pained eyes. She didn’t understand. Clearly, this was something that had been done to her.

Peridot stared back with weariness. And again, some shyness.

_What did you get yourself into, small lady?_

“Can I sit next to you?”Pearl gestured beside Peridot’s injured arm. 

“hmhm… yes.”

Pearl moved beneath the counter with her, having to adjust to the low height, but still able to fit.

Pearl would take a chance this time. She felt like, maybe, she had done the right thing for once.

She pulled from her gem a long, wide red ribbon, and began wrapping up the injury, fixing a sling from it and placing it against Peridot’s petite torso.

“No projects for a while, ok? At least not when we’re here. You can’t get around working, I guess.”

Pearl wasn’t looking at her, but Peridot had the same life in her eyes as when Yellow Diamond had touched her face.

When she looked up, Peridot had already looked away.

“I’m sorry.” Pearl placed her hands in her lap. She felt responsible for whatever had happened. 

_Maybe if I hadn’t gone…_

Peridot shook her head, seeming to return to her usual self.

“…why do you keep saying that.” 

“Because I am.”

“For what?”

Not long ago, Peridot was ordering her around, limiting their conversations, and full of exaggerated annoyance for her. In between all that, they had definitely developed a decent relationship. They had spent two months constantly together, after all. But the manner in which they were currently addressing each other suggested they felt level to each other, and it was both slightly uncomfortable and liberating for Pearl to suddenly have to think more of herself beyond being of service to everyone.

“Is it not my fault you had to waste time looking for me? Is it not my fault you’ve already wasted so much time simply being around me? I’m incompetent. Stupid. Def-”

Peridot put her good palm in front of Pearl’s face.

“Wait. So your first point is DEFINITELY true, and I am very upset about that,” Peridot gave her a quick glare, then continued, “But why would you even begin to suggest I am INTENTIONALLY wasting my time? I am the one who decided to keep you in the first place. If I thought you were complete trash you would still be wandering the hangar, probably crying or whatever pathetic thing it is pearls do. Obviously you are of SOME use to me, or I wouldn’t have kept you around or been wandering all over the city LOOKING FOR YOU!”

Pearl drew in her shoulders, eyes wide.

Peridot tapped her lips with one finger, thinking, “You’re still a clod, though. Especially right now. A first-class clod, _nyehehenyehhehnyeh_.”

Her laugh was ridiculous.

She continued, definitely back to her usual, smug self,

“I only associate with superior entities,” Again, using her good hand, she placed it over her chest and leaned in slightly to Pearl, “I saw potential going to waste, and being the brilliant gem that I am, I didn’t let that opportunity get away. But don’t give yourself _too_ much credit. Without me you really would be _just a pearl_.”

Peridot laughed again, almost snorting, clearly pleased with herself.

She didn’t seem to realize what she was saying.

And definitely didn’t realize how much it meant to Pearl.

When Pearl smiled, Peridot pursed her lips and leaned back against the back of the counter. 

Pearl drew her knees up against herself again, this time because she was feeling… as if she might float away.

“You’re right,” Pearl couldn’t stop smiling, “I won’t disappoint you… _small lady_.”

Pearl was so happy she couldn’t help herself. She didn’t care if Peridot got mad.

“STOP CALLING ME THAT!”

Pearl laughed.

When Peridot saw that the yelling wasn’t having an effect, she knocked the back of her head on the counter and groaned, palm on her gem.

“I was serious about you not doing anything,” Pearl calmed herself, looking down at Peridot’s bundled arm, “That needs to get better.”

“How am I supposed to work on anything?” 

“Well… you can still dictate your plans. I’ll write everything up for you. And I’ll help you at the hangar. Definitely.”

“ _Arrrrhghhh_ but I was just starting to put everything together, there isn’t anything to plan for at this point, while you were gone I was prepping the suit for-,” Peridot paused suddenly, and then slowly looked over at Pearl.

Pearl looked around, unsure if she was supposed to say something, or ask if Peridot was alright.

“YOU. You can put everything together. You have both hands working, I’ll just tell you what to do. I have to admit, you have a really steady hand… ha…. Hands… I’ve totally solved this annoying problem!”

Now Peridot was the one with the stupid smile. A grin, more like it.

“Oh, I don’t know. You- you really want me to- Oh. Hm. Peridot…” Now this did make Pearl uncomfortable. She knew she was capable, but actually taking responsibility for constructing something of Peridot’s was intimidating. She didn’t trust herself to be any successful at it.

“What? Pearl,” Peridot rolled her eyes, “It’s not like I’m asking you to come up with your own suit. I’m going to be telling you what to do. Clod.”

Pearl wondered what she had done between now and two weeks ago to make this happen. Because really what she had done was… _terrible_.

Maybe that was just it.

Something terrible…. And then something…. Whatever this was.

“Ok. I’ll do it.” Pearl didn’t dare say thank you. She knew that would be just as blasphemous as saying sorry.

“Good.”

“Yeah. Good.”

They both sighed.

“…Pearl?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t think I can get up from here.”

“Oh. You want me to-”

“Yes. But,” Peridot sighed again, “not right now. I just… I kind of just want to sit here.” She sounded confused by her own words. And it showed when she turned to Pearl.

“Ok Peridot. Then let’s do just that. Sit.”

And they did. And while Peridot had planned to get started on continuing her work, and Pearl had expected Peridot to demand they get up, none of that happened. They sat facing the half-opened window, both thinking about the present, but also about a dearth of things.

But for each, one thought loomed greater than the rest. 

Peridot thought of Yellow Diamond. 

Pearl, an impending rebel invasion.

As darkness evaporated, the sun coming through the floor brought with it all the anxieties of light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter.... well, that's actually a mystery, even to me! I have some stuff to work out. But believe it or not I have a clear idea of everything from here on out! And it's gonna be great. I just don't know what perspective i need to start with... so you could be getting anything from Yellow Diamond to Pearl to Peridot to Lazuli or to whoever else I'm going to introduce. And thank you for your patience. I'm trying.


	12. Chapter 12: Yellow Diamond's Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We return to Yellow Diamond's yet to be fleshed out agenda. With rebellion worries supposedly being taken care of by new guidelines for the gems of Homeworld, as well as White Diamond's special task force, Yellow finds the opportunity in that mess to get what she wants. At least that's the goal. Her ugly history with the diamonds is further explored, and while we still haven't a clear idea as to what role Anthracite played in her past, or what Anthracite even is, a new gem from Yellow's past is introduced. One actively helping Yellow Diamond quietly commit treason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gem introduced here plays an important role in later chapters. I hope I've done her justice.

In these times, gem civilization began to lose its interest in the mysticism of the universe. The process was imperceptible, as the span of time was more like a drop of eternity for each gem. Mapping the labyrinths of alternate worlds was less relevant, dissemination of the Diamond Authority’s emblem was. They were not to come across a single planet they did not claim, and it was so that colonization was the ideal spread amongst the masses. Like most expansions, this was less about discovery and more about ownership, power. Mostly for the Authority itself, but this sense of pride inflamed the empire, and it was bursting at its seams in the capitol. Those things which could not be explained were widely ignored, as it served no immediate or self-gratifying importance: If it was nothing in the way of conquering some star system or moon, no one cared.

There was much they did not understand, despite being the dominating species of all the universe.

Yellow Diamond had reduced herself in height to draw less attention as she approached the outer rim of the empire. She travelled the surface until meeting borders; then, she would access the tunnels. She made herself generic in appearance, fading into the crowds, becoming their rhythm. She walked often amongst her citizens this way, listening and gathering what she could from chance conversation. She could never linger in any one place. Her true surveillance unit was disseminated across the Empire, comprised of those who had fought alongside Yellow Diamond against the Authority so long ago. They were forced to live as if the war years had not taken from them the freedom they had experienced so briefly. These gems were the original defectors, and they were as much a threat as their leader.

It had been over a century since Yellow had met with her followers. Somehow, forgiveness was granted for her transgressions against them, against her own cause: she had killed off her own army. The day of the executions had been so grand a horror that the Authority had it etched along a wall in White Diamond’s court, a wall facing opposite Yellow Diamond’s grand courtyard. There wasn’t a wall in the palace, in all the capitol, so rich in detail, so glaring and opulent in its depiction, as that wall. One would think the event had been the crowning achievement of Authority. It was an obvious taunt, a reminder, that Yellow Diamond’s induction into the Authority had been both humiliating and tormenting for her. That day, Yellow Diamond sat on her new throne motionless, expressionless, as the remains of her army were slain, one by one, before her. But despite all that had been done, including Yellow’s agreement to be part of the Authority, what remained of her army was still loyal in her name. Their loyalty was so embedded in their being that they turned their sense from blatant truths, from the reality that their leader was indirectly responsible for the murder of their comrades.

Yellow Diamond was their mystic force, and had not, in their eyes, done wrong. She was as legend as the first Diamonds of the universe, only, she was not dead.

It was perhaps the long history they had made together that explained the dynamic of things between Yellow Diamond and her followers. It went back to a time drastically unlike the present, long before any civil wars and diamond factions.

Back when Yellow roamed the wastelands of a dead planet, one ruled without rule, where law made itself known but written, she was the undisputed sovereign. Those inhabiting the planet were an amalgamation of gems from all over the universe, before gems thought of caste, before equality was determined by crystal structure. No. If a gem could survive, could keep themselves even just above the surface, they were accepted into society. Yellow Diamond’s home, or what she considered home for most her existence, was savage, but also direct, simple.

Simple.

Phantom Quartz had come from the depths of the planet as it split miraculously to its core. The quartz herself was the cause of that event. But this was unknown for decades. No gem dared go into the hellish fissure that led someplace too many miles below, so far the molten core was exposed. To see the planet from space was to witness it gradually become two. The global trench had become part of life. Bridges were built. Nothing got in anyone’s way. Life went on.

Phantom Quartz was the last thing to emerge from the planet itself, if there had been anything there to begin with before Yellow and the eclectic population of gems.

The shadowy quartz was difficult to describe, as she was not typical of any gem type or race, nor had any comparison in written or oral history. Her existence was baffling, her presence disturbing.

The short of it, Yellow and Phantom did not understand what the other was, and any surviving gem from the planet now split in two would tell the story this way:, their leader fought for ten years in the hellish fissure, battling darkness itself.

This was partly true.

Some say Yellow Diamond had conceded to Phantom, others say Phantom conceded to Yellow Diamond.

Whatever their truce, Phantom Quartz became Yellow Diamond’s shadow. From then on Yellow Diamond did not only become known for rule of the dead planet, but of an entire star system. Yellow, with Phantom at her side, was named just in all the galaxy. A subjective title, but one that spread across the universe. And it was not without merit. She ruled as she always had: without discrimination, and free of ambiguous law.

Yes. That had been long ago. Long ago, and not even in the memory of White, Pink, or Blue. They had never known her beginnings. But a handful from those times still existed. Including Phantom Quartz.

Back in the damp present, all varying shades of purple darkened the skies black.

A weather pattern of continuous storms cloaked the Empire. Sometimes for months rain poured. Yellow glanced up at the tattered canopies stretched over the wide alley. Scurrying past her were lumps of evaporites, fist-sized pests with too many legs and harmlessly spiked exteriors. They were desperately keeping from the rain, which was slowly dissolving their form into nothing. She nudged them aside as some attempted to crawl up her cape.

This was a deceptively vacant place.

Doors were wide-open, windows boarded or broken. But within the tight spaces, there were gems in the dark, existing. Most of these gems worked in the inner parts of the Empire, laborers. They were the disposables. Often they were tattered with cracks, hairline marks that would eventually split into devastating fractures. 

They paid no mind to Yellow.

She thought if any facet of her empire ever turned out this way, she would have all such gems put out of their misery. They could do nothing for themselves anymore but gradually die.

Why work something so weak, when much more could be invested in the strong, those willing to survive? It wouldn’t matter from where they came.

So much excess. The Authority collectively did not grasp the meaning of their own power to create a superior citizenry. 

“Watch it. You don’t want that on you.”

Yellow glanced up to the looming shadow of a gem, leaning out from a window. She looked down.

A slow stream of gold liquid, thick, oozed from up the alley. Yellow stepped aside.

“They keep dumping that crap in the streets.”

Yellow smirked, and went over to lean against the wall where Phantom’s upper half was almost hovering above her out the window. The abysmally colored gem almost faded within the shadows of the deteriorating home. Her upper eyes, crimson, blinked, while the set of yellow ones narrowed in the direction of the refinery.

“Should we be out in the alley?” Yellow Diamond inquired calmly, glancing around. 

Phantom’s mass of floating hair covered and uncovered the two sets of eyes. She continued leering, harder at the factory, then down at the streets. 

“LOOK! THEY’RE DUMPING MORE OF IT!” She hissed loudly, turning to Yellow as if she could do something about it

“I’ve never cared for amber.”

“No one does but your shit friends.”

Yellow had always thought the unsettling juxtaposition of Phantom’s mystique and boorish nature were one of the more glorious perks of having her as an ally. Her attitude alone was worth preserving. For all eternity.

“That’s probably why I don’t care for amber. The _shitting_ part.” Yellow smirked at the irradiating quartz.

Phantom stared a moment, then drew back from the window to her room.

“I missed you.” Her voice was muffled as she disappeared deeper in the crumbling building, her disembodied form leaving a trail of smoke. 

Yellow walked through the front, glancing around at the dim room. Nothing but overturned furniture and broken statues. She pushed overhanging tatters of curtains from view, ducked beneath collapsed parts of the second floor. Phantom was always travelling. But lately she had settled in this part of the district, lingering. She was unable to leave with all the extra security across the borders. Even at the gates to the Wastelands more officers were posted. The Empire was keeping everything in, as if that were the cure for the disease of unrest.

“It’s been a challenge coming out this way. I’m more certain that I’m being watched, like the rest of you.” Yellow looked up at a completely dark corner of the ceiling. From the black, all she could see were those red and yellow eyes.

“Who do you trust these days,” Phantom Quartz poured noiselessly from the corner down to floor, stopping just beside a large vertical crack in the wall, “You’re the dream-come-true of every ass kissing snitch in the Empire.”

Yellow Diamond raised an eyebrow, and then turned her head side to side, stretching, “I’ve got you.”

“So you do.”

“…you. And others.” 

Phantom glanced directly at her, then down at the floor.

“About that-” Phantom lowered her voice slightly.

“You’ve done as I’ve asked?” Yellow Diamond dodged the forthcoming question. She had other business here.

“It wasn’t easy finding everyone. Like me, they shift around. But the message has gone out. They’re just waiting for your word.”

“I have that for you today.”

“Do you.” A statement.

“Make contact with the rebels.”

Phantom looked up, eyes deeper shades blood and gold,

“So it’s really going to happen.”

“There isn’t a better time. I wouldn’t have you go through any of that if I weren’t serious.”

“You’re always serious,” Phantom held her arms against her chest, “I understand this opportunity. We’ve been waiting. We’ve wanted this the same as we’ve wanted it in the Last War. But visiting everyone, some I haven’t seen for decades, has reminded me that so few of us are left.”

Yellow Diamond let out a subdued laugh, “You of all gems, thinking that way.”

“That should tell you something.” Phantom snapped.

Yellow Diamond narrowed her eyes.

“I’ve thought this through for months now. This _will_ happen.”

Phantom gritted her teeth, shadowy form glimmering with the intensity of her objections.

“I will do for you anything you ask, my diamond. As will the rest of us. I just… I cannot help but remember...”

Yellow knew what she meant. The executions.

The very fact of her surrender.

“Anyway,” Phantom hadn’t meant to go that far, “if that’s what you want, it’s what you’ll get. The rebels won’t know this information is coming from a rogue diamond,” she half-smiled, “They won’t know it is you, one of the four matriarchs, helping them shatter the Authority.”

Yellow Diamond sighed. Phantom was her favorite. Phantom could do or say anything and Yellow wouldn’t bat an eye. 

“Intelligence should not link back to me. Or to anyone from the war years. You will become like them, become their vapid cause. When everything comes together, I’ll have it all in my hands. As it should have been from the beginning.” Yellow clenched her fists, staring down at the floor. She had come so close the first time. She had patience, but she was also remembering with more jarring clarity all that had gone wrong, and she was letting anger pull her. Yellow was aware of this effect. She knew she could not let emotions ruin anything.

“Sovereign, you have spoken before about others in the empire you have been watching… those who did not fight along with you. Those you mean to persuade to your cause.” Phantom had never liked this idea. Turning the rebels to their side, in time, was obviously necessary, was the ultimate goal. But bringing outsiders into the equation before the Authority was overthrown made her uncomfortable. It was difficult to have faith in other gems. She felt it put her liege at too much risk.

Yellow knew she could never get through to Phantom on this issue. But she answered anyway,

“This has been a very tedious process, but I have who I need. For now. There are only a few. And they, like you, will be willing to die for me. In time,” she saw the flash of disgust in Phantom’s eyes, but continued, “White Diamond has been pushing me toward charge of the new kindergartens. She wants me away from the capitol. But this works in our favor. While you do what needs to be done here, I’ll have made something of a masterpiece, perhaps,” Yellow thought of the technician, her favorite so far, “you don’t have to like it. But there isn’t much you can do to have it your way, Phantom.”

Yellow Diamond reached out to take Phantom’s hand, the palm where the shadow’s gem glimmered, “And if things don’t work out, I’m not afraid to shatter those in my way.”

Yellow kissed her gem, then let go of the quartz’s hand.

The other continued to look unconvinced.

“I look forward to your success in that endeavor.” She narrowed her eyes, rubbing her palm as if Yellow Diamond’s lips had been a burn.

“Hm,” Yellow stared down at a large limestone vermin scurry around the room, it’s antennae on one side misshapen.

Phantom moved closer, now half in the light, “Just remember you’re one against three. None of us will forget that you were the last, the strongest… but Yellow Diamond, we lost.”

The limestone creature had come up to Yellow, its legs feeling in place of its blindness.

“We didn’t lose,” She placed her boot over the overgrown insect, “the war hasn’t ended.” She pressed down on it, and the frail shell split, the insides of the animal splattered all around the floor.


	13. chapter 13: Possibilities part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter before Pearl and Peridot head off to test the first official limb enhancement model. Peridot is full of anxiety, assessing her odd relationship with Yellow Diamond and her even more emotionally labyrinthine relationship with Pearl.

“I’m counting on you.” Peridot shuffled around the capsule, putting together items they would need for testing out the mechanical enhancements. 

“Nothing will go wrong. I know what I’m doing… mostly.” Pearl reached over Peridot, snatching some tools from the ceiling compartments.

“How reassuring.”

During the month following Pearl’s return, they worked without pause on Peridot’s mutinous venture. Pearl did most of the assemblage, and also some programming, under Peridot’s supervision. The injury Peridot sustained was slowly healing, and after a few weeks her mobility improved. When Pearl showed up at the hangar with Peridot that first shift back, Onyx simply rolled her eyes. She couldn’t say much. After Dark Emerald’s fervent demand, and after being admonished by Yellow Diamond, she simply wanted her department to work as quickly and efficiently as possible to make up for it. And, she would not admit it, but with Peridot 5XG, the pearl was turning out to be an asset, and in turn, and asset to Onyx.

So Pearl’s presence had been silently permitted.

During that month as they assembled each component of the suit, communication between them had improved. Focus on the project mended most squabbles, and Peridot’s injury gave her no choice but to accept Pearl’s help. Pearl learned fast. Instead of being annoyed, Peridot was relieved to not have to repeat instructions. She could focus on more important things.

Things not just about the suit.

Two weeks before the present, Peridot had come to their capsule to find a message in her off-grid computer. No one had access to the network, so someone had to have been in the capsule, directly accessing the mainframe. Before opening the file she knew immediately it was from Yellow Diamond. 

Her anxiety had soared so high she was unable to read the message. It took her a few minutes of fumbling to process what word each letter formed, and a few minutes more to comprehend those words.

_I apologize for not having come by the hangar, and I will not be able to show my face there from here on.. I’ve had to keep a much lower profile lately, much more than I anticipated. You will meet with me …_

And so the message went on. When she closed out the file, it deleted itself. 

“I have to leave.”

“Leave? Where are you going?

Pearl knew Peridot only to leave to and from the hangar, and occasionally to look for more scrap materials. But they always went together. Especially since, at that time, Peridot wasn’t of much use if she were going to go hauling metal piping and copper sheets.

“I should come with you. Everything here is secure.”

Peridot had not even acknowledge her suggestion, and simply left, not giving the servant any idea as to where she was going and when she would be back.

Peridot returned at the close of that night, looking unsettled. 

Since then she had brushed off Pearl’s questioning until Pearl grasped the futility of it. What use telling Pearl? Peridot wasn’t even quite sure what was in motion. What would Yellow Diamond think? A peridot, with a pearl! Something in her prevented the words from coming out, and so she left Pearl in the dark.

 _“Think of the weakest in our Empire,”_ Yellow Diamond sat opposite her in the ruins of a battle station _, “Think of those so beneath me they cannot bring themselves up from the ground. Why do they exist? What purpose do the broken and dying serve? We use them for cheap labor. Petty labor. We use hundreds of them that last maybe only decades until they die. Some last longer, show a will to become something greater, but they are never given the chance. They die with everything else meant to die, washed away, forgotten. But what if, from that filth, there are gems who could rise to our level, to greater levels.”_

Peridot could see nothing in the dark but the glimmer of diamond in her master’s eye _._

_“Why do the weak of this empire remain weak? Why does this empire expand with ends that rot, when all of its body could burn with life?”_

At some point, a large hand held one side of Peridot’s face, long fingers stroking the small gem like a prized pet.

_Think, my dear treasure, why are your leaders so weak?_

So much more had happened. Peridot didn’t want to think about it, because she didn’t know what to make of it. But constructing the enhancers had become more than an excited compulsion; now it was part of some plan Yellow Diamond continued to be very vague about. Peridot had not resisted persuasion, despite recognizing that Yellow Diamond may be manipulating her lesser sense. Something about Yellow Diamond drew her in, made her feel eerily whole. Beneath that there was an elusive feeling weaving in and out her comprehension. Something not right.

But Peridot felt needed. 

Yellow Diamond had given her distinct importance.

She said nothing about Pearl and nothing to Pearl. Would Pearl understand?

_I don’t even understand._

Peridot didn’t want Pearl taken away from her.

Is that what she thought Yellow Diamond would do? Take away Pearl?

These thoughts were the cause of her constant pacing around the capsule, taking up new projects in-between with great intensity.

The technician’s world was no longer just a world of self, it was a world of self in relation to others. Namely, Pearl and Yellow Diamond. This new awareness of her identity made everything more complicated. Peridot fixated on what they must be thinking, feeling. She’d given up trying to deny that she didn’t mind having Pearl around. She liked it. She just didn’t understand why. And she definitely didn’t let Pearl know any of that. 

There was a difference, though, in how the Pearl made her feel, and how Yellow Diamond made her feel. Yellow Diamond’s lingering presence was possessing, luxurious. Recalling their meetings stirred within her a gratifying warmth, and although Pearl had no access to her thoughts, Peridot couldn’t help feeling embarrassed when that happened.

“Are you alright?” Pearl would sometimes catch her with that distressed, helpless blush burning her cheeks.

“…uh, I’m fine.”

Feelings about Pearl were less intense, but the gravitational pull was just as strong. Peridot was erased in Yellow Diamond’s shadow. But with Pearl she was exposed. Pearl, without words, was always having a conversation with her. A conversation that prompted mutual return. Pearl’s language was one of gentle requests and wholehearted offerings. She absorbed every word and gesture of Peridot’s with a consistent measure of understanding. Peridot didn’t know what other pearls were supposed to be like, but maybe what made Pearl defective, also made her more of a real gem. One with the capacity for free will. But Peridot couldn’t tell where companionship began and servitude ended. If it ended anywhere.

And that’s what troubled Peridot the most.

She got ahead of herself at that point. The real root of the problem was the unexpected desire to be in someone else’s thoughts. That she entertained the idea of another gem wanting to know her, and her wanting that, made her uncomfortable. It also left her a little empty.

Only months ago, her greatest desire had been to be an esteemed technician, one who might be permitted engineer’s work someday. Knowing she already indeed surpassed her superiors, she only wanted a life of just enough recognition to have the freedom to do what she loved: create. The simplicity of that desire was comforting. But now she wasn’t so sure. The world wasn’t turning out to be so simple as that. Her eyes on Pearl, Peridot watched those hands create with the same inherent deft as her own. She witnessed Pearl work out the same problems and devise comparable solutions. Pearl had a whole range of emotions and gestures Peridot never even knew existed. What really set them apart? 

Peridot was in the dark, trying to remember what had been in the room before the lights went out. But nothing she came up with seemed quite right.

“What?” Pearl caught gaze with her.

Peridot turned away.

Sometimes Peridot was convinced Pearl’s presence was not entirely obligatory. Pearl seemed to want more access, more understanding, more of Peridot.

But Peridot didn’t know how to respond to anything Pearl may have wanted. 

“Are you done yet?” Pearl sat on the counter, eyes on her master as she scrambled around the capsule.

“Are _you_?” Peridot’s back was turned as she dug through a container. She wasn’t a disorganized being. But she was in pieces over what they were about to do.

“Yes.”

Peridot stopped, and then turned around, “Oh.”

“Come on, dear lady. There isn’t anything we’ve forgotten.” Pearl motioned to the pile they had amassed over the past few minutes. 

Peridot sighed.

“Pearl, please, _please, PLEASE,_ stop calling me anything like lady, and definitely not anything like _dear_ or dearest,” Peridot thought of Yellow Diamond for a brief moment and winced, “… or _treasure_ ….”

Pearl smiled. She was smiling a lot more the past few weeks. The anxious quiver to her lip and apprehension in her eyes had mostly vanished, although she was still not completely confident in her standing with Peridot. Regardless, Peridot was glad not to be hearing her say sorry every few minutes. 

“Sometimes I can’t help it. But I’ll try.”

“ ‘Trying’ isn’t exactly the answer I wanted to hear.”

“Well, I don’t want to lie.”

Peridot, back still turned from Pearl, raised an eyebrow and forced an unwanted smile into a half-hearted frown. She composed herself before turning back to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. um. Hm. I hope I've made it obvious Peridot has a rather disturbing crush on Yellow Diamond. She's having feelings for Pearl as well, but differentiating these more authentic emotions from the manipulative maneuvers of Yellow Diamond is hard. Especially for someone as sheltered as Peridot.


	14. Chapter 14: Possibilities Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Peridot thoughts as they travel the empire streets in the cloak of darkness and rain. There's brief talk about gem powers that gets interrupted. A mention of White Diamond becomes central later on in the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like Phantom Quartz, I introduce another gem, who also plays an important role in later chapters. I hadn't really meant to write about her yet. But it happened. And I couldn't stop it, so, sorry?

Out on the streets, they moved through alleys, keeping from main roads, travelling beyond anywhere Peridot had ever cared to go. She looked around at things, half comprehending her unfamiliar surroundings, too excited to make any real sense of anything. Pearl was busy studying the routes she’d mapped out, responding to Peridot’s chatter with the occasional “Mhm,” “yes,” or nod.

“Don’t be disappointed if this first warp is deactivated. They’re quite old.”

“There are four others. One of them has to work.” Peridot walked ahead of Pearl now and then, but then she would remember she didn’t know where they were going.

“That’s the hope.” 

Peridot turned back to Pearl. Her ally. The one unable to tear her eyes away from the map. Her bright pearl was full of all their stuff.

Source of the mysterious storage stunt.

“Um,” she recalled that previous talk of this is what led to that unpleasant disappearance of Pearl, “Do you think maybe you could, maybe, uh, explain how you do that?” Peridot wasn’t sure how to make what she was saying clear without having to directly say it. Her eyes shifted slightly, and then she tapped her own green gem as she sunk into herself.

Pearl looked up finally.

“Oh.” Is all she said.

Peridot continued.

“… not that I don’t know how. I just want to know how _you_ do it.”

“Ok. Well maybe you remember me talking about an inner light? We are projections of our gem. You have to concentrate on the source of all your energy, your inner being. It takes some time to understand this part of yourself, but when you find it, you realize it is more you than you’ve ever known. For me, it’s kind of like a dance,” She looked down, smiling wistfully, “a dance inside. Like I’m one in the same with all life.”

Peridot lost her at ‘”inner being” and certainly had no idea what she meant when she brought dancing into the picture.

“All of that? But you do it like you aren’t even trying.”

“Like I said, it doesn’t come easy. I had plenty of time to study this part of myself. But even so, I think there is even more to it I’ve yet to understand.”

“That sounds, uh… _involved_. I’ve never heard of it done like that.” Peridot was thinking back to her days in training. She really wouldn’t know. Pearl must be catching on to her lies by now.

“Well, it’s how _I_ know. Pearls… I don’t think I’ve known other pearls to do quite as I’ve done with my gem.”

The technician grunted.

“I’d say your assessment seems fair, at least from what I understand about pearls. But what made you even bother?” So here again was more of that strange internal conflict: gems didn’t always quite fit in their expected roles.

Pearl looked down, slowing as they entered a narrow alley.

“For the sake of my survival, and the survival of those I’ve served.” 

Peridot looked down at her hands, then up at Pearl, blinking through the soft rain. Pearl had to learn about using her gem ability under trying circumstances. What about herself? She’d have to learn, too. In a way, peridots weren’t really expected to use any of their gem abilities. But if it was as important as Pearl said it was, then how come it wasn’t something taught to gems from emergence? In fact, using one’s gem power was not very common. She’d been surrounded by other technicians and engineers and such kinds of laborers all her life; she had no solid concept of gem expectations beyond this. Pearl seemed to know more about the world than she did. A lot more. 

“Hey, Pearl-”

“Oh!” Pearl let out a tiny gasp, and Peridot felt two hands on either shoulder as she was yanked into a side alley.

“Pearl-”

“ _Shh_.” Pearl placed her hand over the other’s mouth, pulling them both close against the wall, crouching.

Heavy footsteps fell over the puddled ground. Peridot listened for words but that was all she could hear. That, and the rain. Whoever it was, they weren’t just passing through the alley. They were either looking for someone, or waiting.

Peridot looked up at Pearl, whose eyes were full of suppressed terror. Pearl noticed her staring, but the expression didn’t change. Instead, she drew Peridot closer to her, until the other was completely underneath her cloak. 

Peridot couldn’t see anything.

Was Pearl shaking?

They stayed that way a few minutes. Peridot failed to decode the situation. So close to Pearl, she felt the other taking air in and out, something a gem might only do in fear or anxiety. What could be so frightening to Pearl? So dangerous to them both? Sure, there were more officers hanging around. But the worse they could do was tell the both of them they couldn’t pass through. Maybe thieves? But the severity of Pearl’s reaction was so unusual. Peridot wanted badly to say something, but knew she couldn’t. She bit down a little on Pearl’s hand. 

Pearl cringed and tore her hand away, looking as if she wanted to slap Peridot with it. Peridot just narrowed her eyes and shrugged. _What’s going on here._

Pearl shook her head. 

_Just stay quiet please. I’m sorry._ She mouthed. Peridot understood the gist of it.

Pearl managed to pull her even closer. Peridot squirmed. Pearl grasped her head and leaned in close to her ear.

_She’ll hurt you._

“Hm.” The mystery figure made a sound.

Both Peridot and Pearl nearly turned around to look, stopping themselves.

The footsteps started again, moving slow and heavy right past them. Peridot could only make out an enormous shadow. Then, whatever it was, was gone.

Pearl let her mistress free.

“What in diamond’s name was that?” Peridot shook out her arms, her small cloak hood falling back from her face. She grabbed at it and quickly pulled it back down.

Pearl didn’t answer, but took Peridot’s hand and rushed through the alley, almost running.

“Hey, come on. What was that? ”Peridot almost tripped a few times, Pearl seeming to be unaware of her struggling to keep up.

“…Actinolite… ” 

“Who?”

“Before the Authority, she belonged to White Diamond. Actinolite was her strongest soldier. She killed two of my previous masters. She nearly killed me.”

Peridot wasn’t quite understanding.

“White Diamond? But that was during the war. Why would she even bother with you?”

Pearl turned around, eyes enormous,

“White Diamond only summons her when she feels threatened. This is something White keeps from the other diamonds. All of them have their secrets.”

There was a pause.

“I don’t know what her business is here, but if she found out about what we’re doing we’d be shattered.” Pearl squeezed Peridot’s hand. 

Peridot looked down at it, then back at Pearl who was now focused ahead.

There was something more to it. Peridot could see Pearl hesitate to continue, then decide against it completely.

Peridot thought again for a moment about Yellow Diamond. Not that this had anything to do with it? _All of them have their secrets._

The secondary motivation for her project again came up and the reality of it hit hard.

“Uh…” What would she say?

“I might be over-reacting,” Pearl’s grip lessened, “but I’ve witnessed what she can do… there isn’t anything so graceless and devoid of honor as watching Actinolite kill.”

“Are you sure it was her? Just wandering around, out in the open?”

Pearl nodded.

“That wasn’t her true form. But I know her eyes. I’d know them anywhere. She’s a corrupted gem.”

“Wait,” Peridot had heard of gems becoming corrupted. Damage was purposely inflicted to induce mania, a state that transformed that gem into another being entirely, one with no sense of control and no sense of pain. But such gems were hardly stable enough to be controlled, by themselves or another.

“How can a corrupted gem take orders?”

Pearl lowered her head, muttering something before she answered.

“White made her that way. White keeps her that way. Actinolite was corrupt even before she emerged.”

“So is there’s a whole diamond army of corrupt gems? That’s absurd!”

“Yes, that is absurd. Which is why there isn’t. There’s only Actinolite. As far as I know. White Diamond must have kept her bubbled all these years.”

Peridot was reminded again of how long Pearl had been around. _Before the authority._ Peridot tried to imagine such violent experiences. How many gems had Pearl seen destroyed, right in front of her? She lived through thousands of years of on and off war. Peridot had never known war. Would she have fared as well as Pearl?

_“Pearls have been around that long?”_

_“…Well, I’ve been around that long.”_

She remembered their conversation about age. What did Pearl mean?

They’d slowed down some, Pearl finally letting free her hand.

“I want to protect you, but I’m weak.” Pearl drew her hood so far over her face that Peridot couldn’t make out her expression.

Peridot wasn’t stupid.

Emotionally stunted, yes, socially inept, definitely. 

But she figured out that Pearl must be thinking of her previous owners. And maybe even thinking about the one who had just abandoned her. 

Pearl had failed quite a lot. Her determination to tap into her gem’s power was probably intensified by these failures. But Pearl could only go so far. 

“Well look at you,” Peridot walked in front of her, motioning to the entirety of Pearl, “of course you’re going to be useless. What exactly are you expecting of yourself? Didn’t your masters have guards to protect them? Where were they? You’re a pearl. An accessory. A trinket. In my case a really fancy assistant,” Peridot rubbed her chin and shrugged, “I’m a brilliant technician. But I’m still just a technician. I don’t expect either of us to be able to do much of anything in a fight. It’s not what we were made for.”

Pearl looked up a little from under her hood. Peridot immediately recognized that big, teary-eyed stare. 

She groaned.

“I’m just stating the obvious. Why do you always have to start crying?”

They continued walking, Peridot falling beside her as before.

“I’m not crying.” Pearl muttered, trying to sound normal, “you’re right. We aren’t made for that. Especially not me. But I don’t want to fail anymore. I want to be the best pearl. For you.”

Peridot groaned. She was tired of this.

“I’m flattered, but that’s unrealistic. I mean, there are things you can learn. Tactical maneuvers. Stuff I could try out too,” Peridot thought for a moment, “I guess that’s why I started making the limb enhancers? If this Empire is to continue expanding, its technicians are the ones who require new technology as they encounter new and unpredictable environments. Rather than waste time, delaying missions because we aren’t an offensive or even defensive gem, we could get more work done on the front lines by ourselves. It’s a clear conservation of resources and energy.”

“So even though we aren’t made for fighting, we should still know how to, anyway?”

Peridot looked down, then back up at Pearl and shrugged.

“Well it makes sense, right?’ 

Was Pearl seeing something wrong that she didn’t? 

“…I guess it does.” 

Peridot was trying to find the wrong in her own conclusions. Peridot never had to deal with anything beyond technician’s work. She’d never even been out of her district, not since being assigned there after training. She assumed the Authority, though harsh, to come to a similar consensus. Citizens of the empire needed to be self-sufficient, strong, skilled. Even a gem as lame as a Pearl. The expanding Authority still had the whole Universe to conquer. Who knows what would be out there for them to come against? 

What Peridot assumed of her leaders may be inaccurate. 

Yellow Diamond’s words were starting to come to together.

What _were_ the expectations of the Authority? 

“.....”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Actinolite thing still reads random to me, but I'll explain her better soon enough. And it is definitely relevant that Pearl knows her. I'm going to address that as soon as I get through this 'Possibilities' arc. But still. I apologize for tossing two OCs out so close together.


	15. Possibilities Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Longer Chapter. The two get to their destination but it isn't quite what they expected. Peridot wonders about Pearl's previous masters and the life she lived amongst the elite. And also about life during the wars. They are able to start testing the function of the limb enhancers, and Peridot makes a suggestion that Pearl ends up participating in as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This arc has one more chapter after this. I tried keeping within Peridot's point of view, but I may have gotten delirious a few nights in a row and just didn't care. Later chapters will go back to Pearl's POV (we've been in Peridot's for a while. Sorry.) If I repeat things, then I agree. I am a terrible editor.

They travelled maybe an hour, the dialogue shifting to the test preparations. The previous subject matter became awkward, and so it washed away with the now aggressive rain. Pearl seemed to know where she was going without consulting the map much.

“Peridot.”

“Huh?”

“We’re here.”

It didn’t look like they were anywhere. 

They were inside an enormous, crumbling structure. Peridot thought it was a bit like the hangar, if the hangar were ever emptied out. Their steps echoed throughout, and a few vermin ran up the walls or squeezed themselves back into cracks in the floor. They’d entered an old industrial district, a sector that had been shut down as the neighborhoods moved closer to newer industry hubs. Though abandoned, the area was still patrolled. They’d come through carefully. Unfriendly eyes could be anywhere.

“So where is it?” Peridot kicked at some rubble, unimpressed.

“Beneath us.”

“…”

Pearl walked across the structure floor, running her toes over the cracked tile.

“Here.” She waved Peridot over.

Peridot watched as Pearl tapped into the tile with her foot a pattern. The cracks in the tiles lit up, and then the floor beneath them began to sink.

Peridot latched around Pearl’s waist, staring wildly from side to side, then back up at Pearl.

“Is this supposed to be happening?” She tried not to sound worried.

Pearl held up her arms and looked down at her master.

“Don’t worry small lady.” She gingerly patted her on the head. 

Peridot didn’t object. As long as they didn’t fall through the floor, Pearl could do whatever she wanted.

It turned out that they were standing on a built-over platform, and in the lower level was a whole other part of the city even older than what was above, miles and miles of it. It was dim, musty, and vast. Buildings were industrial, much of it constructed with metals and lacking any aesthetic appeal. They stepped off the platform to a grated roof. Peridot remained clutching Pearl as they walked over to the edge.

Looking down, the ground level was not visible. It terminated into darkness. Across from them, there were other “rooftops”, connected by temporary walkways, under them what looked like the remains of the original structures.

“Where are we?” Peridot held tighter to Pearl. She was aware of the close contact, but even more aware that something may come up from the darkness and kill them. Or the whole aching structure could collapse in on itself.

“I believe there were quartz and other warrior gems who lived here. The diamonds made this place for them when the Capitol was founded. They must have trained here, too,” Pearl sighed, her arms still slightly raised, “I can’t really walk with you holding on to me like that.”

“….” Peridot shrank back a little, blushing but still not letting go. The gem warrior ruins seemed more like a haunted prison than a long ago, functioning neighborhood.

“How about you hold my hand instead?” 

“….” It seemed like a fair compromise. But she couldn’t move.

Pearl gently peeled her off. She placed Peridot beside her, and then intertwined their fingers as she made her way toward the walkway to the next platform.

“I doubt there is anyone here. Or anything. At least nothing more than a few limestone rodents, maybe some epsom bats. An acid gator or two.”

Acid gator?

“Where is that damn warp?” Her voice cracked a little.

It was just the next platform over.

Peridot had never seen a warp pad before. There was nothing particular about it that would even indicate it was a warp. And it was cracked.

“Oh, well, look at that.” Pearl leaned down, Peridot still in hand, and sighed.

“It’s broken?”

“It might still work.”

Peridot, having lost her fear to curiosity, let go of Pearl and circled the warp. She examined it close up, far away, tapped at it cautiously. Pearl watched, and didn’t comment until the other noticed she was making a small spectacle.

“How do we use it?” She stepped back, scratching the back of her neck.

“Easy.”

They stood together on the warp. Peridot looked down, wondering if the whole thing was going to move like the platform had. But, nothing.

“It’s not doing anything.”

“It sure isn’t.” Pearl looked down sadly, “I’m sorry Peridot. I guess it’s broken after all.”

Peridot tried to hide her massive disappointment, but couldn’t. Pearl’s became even more apologetic.

“We’ll try again tomorrow. Like you said, one of them should work. In the meantime,” Pearl walked over to the edge of the building top, looking out at the rusted, underground city, “we can test it here.”

Peridot had seen that one coming. She was only hoping with all her might that Pearl wouldn’t actually suggest it. Her response time had taken too long.

“You aren’t still scared, are you? There’s a lot of space. I mean you can’t do some of the things that require an unobstructed environment but….”

Peridot wasn’t listening.

Ten minutes later and Pearl was unpacking from her gem.

Peridot was setting up a small computer, untangling some wires and feeling slightly better about using this particular space. She wasn’t too happy to have missed out on travelling the warps. She’d been thinking about it nervously the closer they came to completing their preliminary work. A more remote location would have been nice, but according to Pearl, this was good enough. Though they still had to be vigilant of not just officers, but other gems. Other gems who would end up turning them over.

“Who do you think that Actinolite is after?” Peridot sat on the floor as Pearl helped her attach the arms of her robotic suit. 

“I don’t know,” Pearl tugged at her arm a little, struggling to assemble some smaller parts before she set it into Peridot’s skin, “White used her in battle to intimidate enemies. And to rid of high ranking gems from opposing factions. But that was the war years…” Pearl trailed off.

She seemed to be holding back again.

Or it seemed like she’d just realized something.

“Well these aren’t the war years. The Diamond Authority took care of that. Which is why it makes no sense that one of the diamonds has a prized war machine let loose in the city.”

“I can’t speak for why that is. I don’t know if we ever will find out. I wish you’d seen what things were like before the Authority. Not that this knowledge is helping me much right now.”

“What were things like?” 

Pearl stopped, looking Peridot in the eyes, a little surprised. Then, she continued.

“A mess. Before the four diamonds amassed their own armies, hundreds of other factions fought. There was little chance to settle. I was passed along various owners, either traded, or picked up after I’d been orphaned by a fallen master. I was always in possession of those in positions of power. Despite all the turbulence I had to keep up being beautiful. I still danced, sang, played my harp. I also passed messages along battlefields, kept charge of my master’s possessions, organized battle strategy plans that had been dictated to me. I don’t know if I’ve shown you,” Pearl paused again, closing her eyes a moment.

Her gem glimmered, and then from it there came a projection. Within the beam, a tiny scale battlefront played out, like a small movie. Then Pearl shifted images, and before them Peridot watched height-accurate projections of elite gems speaking with a rudimentary projection of Pearl.

She was playing out scenes from the past.

“You’re a recording device.” Peridot stated flatly. 

“Useful for quickly referencing information.”

“How did you- OW!” Peridot grasped the enhancement with her free arm.

“Sorry.”

“That’s fine,” She frowned down at the heavy metal appendage and Pearl’s fingers, “How did you even manage to live through that? I fail to visualize you being successful at defending yourself.”

It wasn’t that Peridot thought Pearl completely helpless, but seeing her live through the war years was hard to believe.

“All I can give you is my word: I was good at getting away. Dance, I think, is an art comparable to sword fighting. I’ve only had to yield a weapon a few times, and I wasn’t much good at it. But my technique was what helped me get away. I don’t think my assailants expected that. I was always a surprise.”

Peridot continued frowning down at her arm, but now for a different reason. She was concentrating hard to sustain a mental image of her servant wielding a sword. What about Pearl swinging that huge pipe around in the sewer? That she could see much more clearly.

But the idea was the same.

“…I’m having trouble understanding how you’ve ended up here. With me.” 

Pearl again, stopped. 

Peridot hadn’t meant those words to come out.

The servant sighed. She placed the robot limb down beside them, and took Peridot’s arm in her hands. There was a pause, where Pearl turned over her hand, as if studying the logic of Peridot’s existence. They locked gaze.

Peridot didn’t flinch, didn’t say anything, didn’t attempt to stop her. She was focused on the distant expression in Pearl’s eyes. 

When Pearl resolved whatever questioning had been going on in her thoughts, she began stroking the small gem’s inner forearm down to her wrist. She lingered over Peridot’s palm, the tips of her delicate fingers brushing back and forth.

Peridot turned her eyes to the floor, focused absently on the metal grating and rust.

She wasn’t convinced this affection was meant for her. She thought Pearl must have in mind some gem from the past, some gem she’d known longer and probably had to see die. She wanted to let go and take in the sensation without question. But her assumptions about Pearl’s motive was distracting.

“Small lady, we are both at a loss.”

Peridot didn’t know what she meant by that. 

The moment with kind intent became what it hadn’t meant to be. It gave her loneliness. Here beside her was someone, but Pearl may as well have been a stranger centuries apart. For an anomalous few minutes, both of them said nothing. Peridot wanted so badly for Pearl to stop. But a miniscule, very desperate desire kept her from pulling away. Maybe if she waited long enough, the emptiness would die. Then she could listen more closely to the sweet conversation of Pearl’s fingers against her palm.

“…I’ll get this together for you.” Pearl let go of her to retrieve the robotic limb, “It’s going to hurt.”

_It already hurts._

“Are you alright?” Pearl tapper her shoulder.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Ok.”

Peridot winced as the tiny hooks dug into her skin, but she adjusted to the presence of the unrelenting sting and opened her eyes, first opening and closing her hand, extending her arm out in front of her.

“I wish you hadn’t made it that way.” Pearl sat looking uncomfortable, the other enhancement in her hands.

“It was the only logical choice concerning my personal objectives. Other, future models won’t function the same.” She was absorbed in the success of her work, but at the same time regretting having erased the lingering sensation of Pearl’s touch. Maybe corporal pain would cancel this struggle.

Pearl helped her into the rest of the suit, and soon Peridot did put out the earlier scene from her mind. She was enamored by the resulting added height. The limbs were heavy, but everything functioned as an extension of her physical self: the weight felt strange but she didn’t have to struggle against it.

“I can’t believe this is real. It’s fully functional. It’s perfect.” Peridot did circles around Pearl, laughing.

Pearl pressed her palms together against her lips, beaming. She clapped.

“Mistress you’ve done it!”

Peridot turned to her from where she stood by the ledge.

“I KNOW. ISN’T IT GREAT?” 

Peridot seemed to have lost her fear of the rooftops and frolicked from several to the next, going far enough that Pearl had to call her back. She couldn’t leave the computer and join her. She was securing the recordings, also monitoring the status of the enhancers’ power levels. There were bound to be glitches. She kept her eyes out for that, too.

“HEY PEARL!” Peridot was so far off Pearl could only faintly make out the glow of the limb enhancements.

“YES?”

“WAIT A MOMENT.” 

Peridot shuffled around, looking for the blaster function. When she found it, she set it off. She was, however, unprepared for the recoil, which sent her flying back on her behind. The mass of electricity exploded against a far off complex, almost blasting through the structure. After taking in the success of the blaster function, still on the floor and propped on her elbows, she laughed. Laughed near maniacally.

“IT WORKS!”

Pearl’s fright turned into an annoyed frown.

“…damn it Peridot, you scared the stars out of me…” Pearl muttered under her breath. She stood up and cupperd her hands around her mouth, shouting, “PLEASE DON’T DO THAT AGAIN.”

“DO IT AGAIN?”

Peridot could barely see Pearl raising both hands up forcefully before tossing them down.

“NO! THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID.”

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU. I’M COMING OVER.”

“YOU’RE JUMPING OVER? PERIDOT NO DON’T JUMP OVER!”

“WHAT? YOU’RE COMING OVER?”

“STOP YELLING AND COME OVER HERE.”

“OH. OK!”

“So,” Peridot rushed over, and circled Pearl, “the blaster still needs work. Or the suit does. I can’t be falling back every time I set this thing off. But do you see it? HA!”

Pearl pressed her wrist against her forehead, “Oh diamond…”

“What?” Peridot whined.

“Ah, nothing, nothing. I admit… it was great. I can’t get over you mastering this new tehnology.”

“I _invented_ it.”

Pearl smiled.

“You did.”

“You know, that’s a really powerful weapon. The whole thing. You can run fast in it. You did quite a job of leaping around these buildings, too.”

“Well,” Peridot thought of their earlier conversation about concerning self-defense, “again, it was all intended to be defensive. But it turned out a lot more like-”

“Like something you’d use in combat.”

Peridot stopped her jittery ambling and cocked her head, staring upward thoughtfully.

“Yeah,” she mumbled, then came upon an idea so enthusing she slapped both hands on Pearl’s shoulders, eyes enormous, “LET’S FIGHT.” 

Pearl shrank back a little, blinking,

“ _Wh-what?”_

“Your gem has all that battle information. Just play it out and we could try some of it.”

“Oh,” Pearl shook her head vigorously, “Mistress that’s not a good idea.”

Peridot scowled in disappointment. 

“Why’s it a bad idea?”

Pearl turned away, biting her lower lip.

“Peridot I don’t think you want to see anything like that. Not from the battlefield.”

What was Pearl getting at? She pictured images from archive text and architectural depictictions, images of regal gem warriors clanking swords, swinging clubs and shooting arrows. Sure, Pearl saw unpleasant things, but she also likely saw gem soldiers in their finest form, right? To Peridot, the idea was almost as thrilling as working on her tech. She got near starry eyed thinking of it, still full of adrenaline from the day’s successes. 

“That’s exactly what I want to see,” Peridot looked quickly at Pearl from side to side, as if she were holding something back, “why are you being so weird?”

Pearl frowned, sighing and turning to Peridot, “you’ve never seen war. I don’t think… I’d just rather not. Please. Please I don’t want that.”

Peridot hadn’t known Pearl to plead as she was in that moment. Or to flat out refuse a request. As much as Peridot wanted to simply demand she do as told, her companion’s discomfort prevented her from doing so.

“Ugh, _fine_. But I don’t know what you’re problem is. I still want to do something… if maybe you know…” There were two of them. Peridot could handle herself with the enhancements. Pearl apparently knew how to fight a little. 

“We can. I’ll just show you in a different way,” Pearl looked somewhat relieved, and stepped forward. Light beamed from her gem, and revealed the battle texts. Beside the text were images from her days as a dancer. Tiny Pearls pirouetted and leapt over a stage, fading until all but one Pearl remained.

“This text concerns all recorded battle strategies, including close and remote combat. It also focuses on some notable soldiers, if you’re interested in a particular style. I honestly haven’t referenced this much. It’s not something that’s been relevant to me in the past thousand years, and even before then I’ve only studied the basics. Anyway,” Pearl’s gem light flickered then died, “We’ll touch on this in the future. I have something else in mind first.” She opened her gem again to retrieve two things, some ribbon and the pipe from the sewer.

“ _You kept that_? I don’t even remember you putting it away.” Peridot pointed accusingly at the pipe. 

Pearl blushed.

“Well, I sort of got attached to it down there. It’s filthy with rats in the tunnels and- that’s not important,” she shook her head, tying back her hair as she walked toward Peridot, dress dissolving into a bodysuit, “I’ve brought it out for demonstrative purpose.”

Peridot was distracted by Pearl’s slight frame, and the effortless manner in which Pearl held the dense pipe. The servant was always hidden under her dress or her cloak. In the diamond emblem jumper Pearl was painfully delicate. Painfully delicate, and also… Peridot wouldn’t have minded just staring at her. She thought of Pearl’s hand over hers, and her cheeks flared fervently with blue. The feeling was inviting, but also a little embarrassing, almost like when she thought of Yellow Diamond. But not like she was drowning. It was inviting. Very inviting. She winced a little. Because she couldn’t it get it out of her head the desire to be as close as possible to Pearl. Why? What would be the purpose of having physical contact with another gem, if there was no reason? Still not understanding completely Pearl’s unique nature, she attributed the other’s constant need to touch her (and it had finally subsided some in the past month) to a genetic predisposition, something all pearls did. But for Peridot, a technician, one particularly averse to contact, wanting to be near another for no specific reason made no sense. 

Why did she want Pearl to hold her hand or her waist or to in whatever way be near her?

“Here,” before she could protest Pearl was behind her, reaching into her hair, “let’s keep this from getting in the way.”

“um…” Peridot looked up, shuddering when Pearl touched the sides of her face to pull back her hair, leaving a few stray locks free. Her servant then tied it up with the ribbon.

“Better?”

“…sure.” Peridot hoped Pearl couldn’t see her blushing. Or read her thoughts.

Pearl swung the pipe out at her side, holding it out as she leapt high above Peridot’s head. Peridot almost fell over turning around. Pearl landed squatting over the dusty building surface, one palm against the floor. Her movement was so deft Peridot couldn’t focus on her. The crane-like gem rose spinning with her weapon. She lifted the pipe up, and then abruptly down before Peridot, inches from her nose. Peridot jumped back, and then did finally fall.

“What are you doing?” She huffed, eyes still on the edge of the rusted pipe in front of her.

“Demonstrating,” Pearl tossed the pipe into the air and then caught it before lowering it back into her gem, “but we won’t be needing that yet. We’re going to dance.”

She leaned forward and extended her hand to Peridot. The technician stared at the hand, then back at the body attached to it, then into Pearl’s eyes. What just happened?

She grasped Pearl’s hand, confused and hoping to at some point makes sense of Pearl, because she suddenly felt a stranger.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... yes, this dancing business is going to end up being the basis for the two of them learning how to fight. I don't want to spoil things, but I really can't help myself: Pearl and Peridot, after some very nice chapters about them two, will go through something quite awful. But from that, we'll get to see a dramatically different Pearl develop... but anyway that's much later so um yes, sorry.


	16. Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl and Peridot have been returning to the abandoned subterranean city for a few weeks now, trying to get Peridot's proto-type complete, and ready for... for what? That is Pearl's continuing worry. Not quite willing to directly question Peridot's actions, she's hoping to get Peridot to speak about it on her own. Pearl also has on her mind a relationship from deep in her past. Despite how much Pearl wants to believe in her empire, too many challenges are leading her to question the future. And the inevitable failure of things both big, and small.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided I would go a different direction with this chapter than I had originally planned (axing my arc plans for the "possibilities" chapters. This whole chapter was honestly unexpected. But I'm trying to lead to something important for both characters.

It was not like performing on stage. Moving was not just art. Moving was every breath. Moving was freedom. Moving was life. Her head thrown back and eyes toward the sky, she saw no diamonds, no pearls. She was a light spinning within her own universe, a light so bright and fast she realized it was time rippling through her being from all ends of existence. She looked down at her hands, long fingers and palm against that smaller, elegant hand, their arms extended out level to their shoulders. The otherworldly gem, whose other hand was pressed lightly against one of her shoulder blades, held intent gaze with Pearl. In her dark eyes, Pearl saw the ocean of some long ago life. Lazuli’s light was the water of every sea. Her wings held them just above the halo of water that Pearl was somehow able to balance over, as if her feet touched a solid surface.

They were high in the evening clouds, above the palace, above the city. Pearl had allowed Lapis Lazuli to pull her into the stars, where they danced.

Nights on the Homeworld capitol were maroon, yet their lives were blue evenings. They met beneath arches at the edge of the empire for seven nights. A dance in the stars. There were words about a planet she did not believe had ever been hers. Lapis Lazuli spoke about the gem societies there, a planet belonging to a star system once isolated from the charts of the Diamonds. Of any of the gem races in their hundreds of civil wars. 

_“I want to go home.”_ Lapis, gossamer gown ruffling in the night breeze, looked up toward the moons, leaning against a pillar, eyes determined for something she could never have. Not anymore.

Pearl could only listen. She did only what she knew. She stood beside the water gem, staring out with her at a sky that was now all too real. Lapis being the only thing unreal.

How she managed to meet with her was still a mystery to Pearl. They both stole away, both from eyes always on them. 

_“We are the only survivors of our home. If only we could reach far enough, then maybe we could find someplace that could be ours. Someplace… beyond…”_

Pearl hadn’t let her finish.

_“We belong under the Authority now. There is no place in any star system where you could get away from that.”_

Lapis turned to her, then freed her hand from Pearl’s, eyes burning with cold.

_“That’s what they tell us. That’s how they scare us.”_

Pearl looked down sadly at her now empty hand.

_“Excuse me if I speak out of line dearest Lady, but we are safe now. Why would you want to risk that? War is over. They ended war.”_

Lapis backed away, one pointed toe just resting at the edge of the disc of the palace, her other leg outstretched over the city miles below.

_“I’m not afraid, Pearl, but I know there isn’t anything I could do. But you don’t know what you’re talking about when you tell me war is over. The war is never over. We’re prisoners here. We are prisoners wherever we go.”_

Pearl returned to feeling displaced. Alone. She couldn’t get the beautiful gem to understand that the only way to live life was to live it under the rule of those in power: the diamonds. Pearl had seen enough war. When the diamonds ended everything, she was relieved. She no longer had to see those in battle shatter each other, no longer had to see planets raided and innocent gems erased from time. Pearl had only ever known servitude. It was her role in this world. She could only aspire to be her best in that role, otherwise she would disrupt the balance of order, threaten peace. Such were her beliefs.

Lazuli’s wings were spanned out, keeping the water phantom suspended. Pearl bent down on one knee, lowering her head and speaking to the ground,

 _“I wish I could understand you_. _But that was a life that was never mine.”_

_“Then I’m sorry.”_

They didn’t talk about Lapis Lazuli’s home the rest of their time together. They told their stories. They shared the life that had led them to the present. They became something Pearl didn’t know existed.

She didn’t know the word, but she was in love.

After those seven days, Lapis returned to her post, her home. She told Pearl she was going to travel the galaxy in her name. 

“ _I don’t want to lose anymore. We’ve made something all ours. We’re prisoners, but not when we’re together.”_

After Lapis left, once every few months, sometimes years, she would visit the palace, always finding Pearl, always having something new to tell her. She described moons and planets unlike anything yet charted, whole galaxies of the strange and beautiful. Worlds Pearl could only dream about or read of in the archives.

_“There’s more to our universe than we know. There are beings like us, like gems, but also other kinds of life. Organic life. Life that is its projection of light. Life sometimes so much more delicate than ours. And then there are other things. Things we can’t see. Invisible worlds around us, living beneath us, like we’re just one layer of something so much more. It’s so exciting, Pearl, but sometimes it’s too much. I feel like I’m seeing all of it alone, but then I think of you with me, and I don’t feel so bad.”_

Pearl didn’t always know what Lazuli was saying. She couldn’t tell what was figurative language and what was straightforward description. But that didn’t matter, because in any case, it was beautiful. Pearl had something to imagine in the lonely hours, recalling the water gem’s words, warmed by the excitement in Lapis Lazuli’s voice, who was so clearly glad to be with Pearl. Smiling. Pearl, for a while, had something to look forward to, no matter if years passed between them meeting again.

 _“Take this.”_ Pearl held out the small harp she had made long ago, to play for her masters, and to pass the time. Her fingers had made many hours of music against those strings, songs she played throughout the few decades they would see each other.

 _“What am I going to do with this? Without you? I don’t know how to use this.”_ Lapis waved Pearl away with some droplets of water, and the other laughed.

 _“Save it for me,”_ Pearl gathered herself, serious now, _“… to remind you to…”_

Pearl could remember Lapis still smiling, looking at peace. It was a smile that had no hurt, no other influence. It was from someplace untouched by the lives they had to live.

Pearl tried hard not to remember that smile. It was what she knew the world could be. In another life.

The kiss that followed, beneath the same arch where they first left the edge of the palace, came seamlessly from the light of their being. Under a steady rain. One of those seasons. When the water didn’t end. 

Lapis pulled away first. _“… you don’t have to give this to me to make sure I come back. But I will, if that’s what you want me to do.”_

_“Please.”_

_“Ok. But now I have to give you something.”_ Lapis searched in her belongings _._

It was a mirror.

Pearl took it, smirking, but also impressed.

_“You clearly meant to give this to me even before I gave you my harp.”_

_“You mean I didn’t inconspicuously have it ready?”_

_“…oh, Lazuli. So it’s a mirror?”_

_“Not simply a mirror. The gem who gave it to me told me it would tell you about anyone’s life who ever looked into it. Everything that gem or other being saw, it could be shown.”_

_“How does it work?”_

Lapis shrugged, taking the mirror from Pearl a moment and turning it over.

_“As far as I am able to figure out, it doesn’t.”_

_“What’s this indention here on the back, as if it… once held something_.” Pearl touched the back of the mirror. Lapis handed it back to her.

_“It’s very old. Whatever it was probably broke and fell off. I didn’t want the mirror at first, but then she told me that story, and I had to have it, even though I knew it didn’t really do anything but give a reflection. I thought you would like it.”_

_“Well I do… very much.”_

How chance it was they exchanged their gifts that day. To make their time together seem even more impossible.

When Lapis left that morning, Pearl felt within herself an uninvited hope that she allowed to stay. It kept her waiting throughout the years. Then decades. Then centuries. A few millennia. 

Lapis Lazuli’s name ceased to be spoken within the capitol. As if she had vanished.

Or maybe, as if she had never existed.

Pearl realized Lapis was not coming back.

Pearl returned over and over to her memories of Lapis. When not waiting on a master, when not concerned and focused on their needs, desires, wants, Pearl could find herself with memories of Lazuli, as if they had only been together moments ago. She held the mirror, staring into it, running her fingers over the mysterious indention on its back. The story of a pearl and a powerful elite in love seemed as fabricated as the story of the mirror. She wanted it out of her head. She wanted to believe she had made it up in one of her dark spells of loneliness. But the pain of the matter was Pearl didn’t believe that. She knew it had been real. Which made having lost it hurt so much more.

Time passed. Her thoughts less and less turned to Lapis, and more to the events going on around her, the gems that she served, who she grew to love, though never fall in love with.

Lapis Lazuli, like the unseen realities she once told Pearl of, was layered somewhere in Pearl’s existing, possessing her quietly, so quietly Pearl didn’t realize how it slowly ate at her over time. It was why she continued to feel as though she failed at being what she was told she was. She couldn’t help the underlying concern, again layered somewhere in her world where she couldn’t see, that it was right to question her rulers. So she convinced herself, in fear of her own truths, that living this way was the best order of things, and that the Diamond Authority had created a flawless universe.

One where she could no longer distinguish happiness from safety.

………………………………………………………………

“What are you staring at?” Peridot narrowed her eyes in slight disgust.

“Oh… nothing.” Pearl turned around, holding out both arms as she dipped down to her right, fingers almost touching the ground.

She had, for some reason, been thinking of Lapis since the fall of night. Lapis, and the questionable activity of her master lately.

“It’s distracting. You’ve been distracting- I mean,” Peridot rolled her eyes, trying to cover up her blush, “you’ve been distracted all day.”

“No. only since this evening.”

“Whatever.”

“I’m sorry.” Pearl twirled back around, vaguely aware that Peridot was sitting on the metal grating, figuring out how to put on her powersuit without help. She’d changed things since the first time they had come here.

She did a sudden twirl before lifting her leg and then sliding down to where her mistress sat, looking as if she were concentrating very hard on not looking frustrated. She was.

Peridot was tired these days. Maybe a little haunted. She was good at hiding whatever it was that was troubling her. This was disturbing, because Peridot didn’t seem the type to hide things. 

Pearl was worried about the small gem. The small gem who was disappearing into the night without explanation every now and then.

“As soon as you figure that out-”

“I’ve figured it out. I just need to… put this… attach this…” Peridot struggled getting into the exo-suit.

“Mm-hm,” Pearl stood up and helped her anyway, “I think we should explore the city.”

A change in routine might stir something in her master.

Peridot scoffed.

“You mean go down there? Where it’s so far down we can’t even see the surface of it. _Why_?” Peridot hadn’t said anything about Pearl’s help. It was inevitable.

“Because. We’ve been coming here for weeks. And we haven’t seen anything else but miles of... of rooftop.” Pearl looked sourly out at the desolate surfaces of the buildings, looking up at some of the taller structures around them.

“Pearl. _IT’S DARK_.” 

“So. We’ve got light.” Pearl signaled to her gem, from where the both of them were able to project light. It was so far the only thing Peridot was able to do with her gem. But that was something every technician was required to know.

Peridot made a disappointed sigh. It turned into a pathetic groan.

“We don’t even know what’s down there.”

“Aren’t you curious? Maybe there are parts down there. Things you can use. Some of the old tech is made from really quality materials. Materials they can’t even mine anymore because those planets are gone.”

“Again… how old are you?”

“Too old.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“So what do you think? You have your exo-suit. Fully functional now. Functional enough that I don’t need to monitor you from up here. We can go together.”

“But… but the power supply.”

“It’s charged. Enough for a few hours.”

Keeping the suit powered was the only major kink in the whole project. Peridot was bent on having it standard run for days without an energy source. They had used power supply to charge the armor at the hangar, risking getting caught each time. But the payoff was worth it. Now that the exo armor was more one component than several separated parts, they really had no choice, anyway. They could only use the power supply from Peridot’s building sparingly. At the hangar, where energy was conducted and generated on a massive scale, no one would notice a few miniscule spikes in activity. 

All in all, getting caught was becoming more likely.

But they managed. Pearl’s gem helped. As simple as storing things away may seem, the ability was incredibly useful, and they may not have gotten any of this done without it.

“I… suppose.”

Pearl knew she’d won. 

She had been thinking of the city’s past since they first found this location. They returned here, agreeing that finding the warps was too much a risk, at least for now. The capitol hadn’t been the safest place for anyone the past month. Small protests had sprung all over the city, with rumors of the same activity in the colonies. There had been a few attacks on White Diamond’s officers, even. Times were looking dramatically different than when the new laws went into effect four months before.

They came twice a week to the abandoned underground, travelling a different route each time.

Pearl did indeed want to see if there were any materials they could use, with the prospect of that looking bright. But she was also curious. She’d never been to this part of the city, but it held connection to her memories of the empire when it was just beginning. Pearl wanted to visit the past. If only for a little while. 

They decided the best- and really the only— way to approach descent was to go down from the inside of each building. Risk of collapsing infrastructure was duly noted but somewhat ignored by Pearl, who had glossed over that detail in explaining how they would go down. Peridot interrupted many times to complain about the details of her plan, and changed the majority of it.

They would descend as far as possible within the span of a few hours, accounting for return time and having to be back at the apartment before sunrise. They’d look _exclusively_ for materials, (Peridot’s emphasis), and that would be all. They would also take the communicator radio, a device that kept time and sent out capitol alerts. Now and then, citizens were required to stay within their dwellings and not leave, not even for work. Some of these were drills. Other times, it had been because of an attack. The radio had become a necessary attachment wherever they went.

How things indeed were changing.

The inside of the building was rusted and creaking, the stone walls cracked or collapsed. A few floors and about twenty minutes down, Peridot was kicking around rubble, picking out items here and there, but mostly unimpressed. Pearl was a little disappointed as well, but was also aware that they had many more floors to go.

“Do you miss it?”

“Miss what, dear.” Pearl was distracted, poking through a star map as they went down a very boring stairwell. She was trying to distract herself. Peridot was also on her mind. 

“Serving the elite. Being in the palace.” Peridot had grown to ignore Pearl’s terms of endearment.

The servant looked back at her master, folding up the star map hologram into her gem. She thought for a moment. She had to be careful about this topic. Careful with her mistress.

“I won’t lie. There are a lot of things I miss. Small amenities,” the amenities she spoke of were anything but small, “There were performances and practice, there were parties. Travels to surrounding planets. Not anywhere far. But it was nice to be someplace different.”

Peridot was quiet.

“Why do you ask, Small Lady?”

Peridot remained quiet.

“Small Lady?” Pearl turned around. 

Peridot’s eyes were focused on the steps they were taking down. She finally looked up at Pearl, but then her eyes returned to each step.

“The Empire is changing.” Peridot muttered.

“It is.”

More silenced passed between them. As they moved along, Pearl wondered what Peridot meant. Why she would make that particular statement.

“Did you know any of the diamonds? What they are like?” Peridot’s tone changed a little, interrupting the lull.

“I did. I spent time listening during parties, or when Dark Emerald was called in to visit. Sometimes the diamonds came to visit Dark Emerald.” Pearl recalled her last evening with her previous master. Yellow Diamond had been there.

“Are the diamonds all the same?”

“The same? Well, no. They all have the same stake in keeping our society together. But each has a very different personality.” Again, she recalled Yellow Diamond.

“Give an example.” A flash of light emanated from Peridot’s arm, a buzz of electricity.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I want to know about the diamonds.”

“…Ok, but mind you, this is only from what I’ve seen. I was company of the elite, but there were things not even a harmless pearl was permitted to hear.”

Pearl, though she respected and praised the four diamonds of the great Authority, sometimes found herself troubled by their history. And their present dispositions.

“I told you some about White Diamond. During the war, her strategy was complete demolition. She wiped out entire planets. She never hesitated in enacting her strategies, and whatever impulse she had, she acted it on it. She was not concerned with consequences. But White is a natural leader. She has a way with words. One feels a stronger belief in the Authority when she speaks. She cares deeply for us, and although she’s quite overwhelming, she has a certain charm.

“Blue? Blue is elegance. She weighs the law because she is the most balanced, so balanced that it is often difficult to read her. She speaks only when necessary, and acts only with purpose. Blue is decisive. When she decrees a law or sentencing, there is no amendment, no plea to change her mind. All is final. I suppose this is her way of keeping the other three focused on their goals for the empire. 

“Pink Diamond has overseen the infrastructure of the empire, the aesthetics as well as the function of everything the city. She’s sometimes the diplomat of the Authority, when we colonize new planets. She oversees the building there, as well. Pink is… Pink is the most casual of the four, I suppose. I’m not sure how else to explain it. She likes to have a good time. She’s often the one arranging gatherings in the palace”

By now, the two were maybe a few dozen flights away from the ground. After having gone down nearly forty. 

Pearl had been in Pink and Yellow Diamond’s presence the most. She had different feelings about the two. Pink Diamond seemed the most inviting, in some ways, like Dark Emerald but… definitely smarter than DE. Regal. Less ego-centric. Pearl was still afraid of her, though. Like all the diamonds, Pink was fully aware of her power and didn’t let any opportunity slip to assert that power. The worst example of that being when gems were executed without warning. Members of her court would sometimes simply vanish. It seemed to take only one misstep for Pink Diamond to rid of a pearl, a guard, even a friend. But to be in her good graces meant gifts, luxuries, and endless praise.

Now, Yellow Diamond. Pearl saw as much of her as Pink, as for some reason Yellow spent time with DE. Which confused Pearl, because Yellow was always obviously bored when in Dark Emerald’s company. Yellow seemed disinterested in her role in the authority. She was a diamond with the darkest history, but also the most muddled. 

Pearl knew the Yellow Diamond of the war years. As savage as White, but not with her own people, only her enemies.

Yellow was the last to surrender.

Overall, Pearl felt the most uneasy about Yellow Diamond. She was too ambiguous.

“Ok, what about Yellow Diamond?”

Pearl had lost herself in thought. She’d forgotten to continue.

“Yes, well, Yellow Diamond… She is not particularly assigned anywhere in the Authority. She is in each part of it. Last I knew, she was going to be overseeing new kindergartens. She manages the training of guards, the once soldier gems.”

Peridot made an almost undetectable mutter of frustration.

“Ok. What else?”

“What else? Not much. I mean, no. There is more… but you must know those stories already.”

“ _What_ stories?”

“Her surrender, being the last of the diamonds to join the Authority.”

“I know that. So what? All the diamonds were against each other. There was going to be a “last” one to join, obviously.”

Pearl stopped a moment. She realized how abridged everything must be for civilians. She only now saw the divide so clearly. It had never occurred to her before.

“…she didn’t want to surrender, Peridot. At all. And when she did, her entire army was executed before her. Every last one of them. The diamonds… they made that day into quite the celebration. I was there…” Pearl was somewhere in that crowd with one of her quartz masters. Thousands of gems. Thousands. Cheering for murder.

“Yellow Diamond is as venerated as any of the other three, but she’s a little distant. She speaks deliberately. She’s somewhat like blue, but not quite. I don’t know anyone in the palace who seems to calculate so much as Yellow Diamond. I suppose that’s why she’s not assigned herself any specific role. She wants to know everything going on, I guess.”

Pearl felt as if she had failed in this description. The more she talked about Yellow, the less she felt she understood. She questioned her own assessment, thinking her imagination had perhaps colored the story of a figure who had truly lived a brutal past.

Peridot had lagged behind but the caught up, engaging her answer as she looked away. As if she didn’t want Pearl to see her expression.

“I didn’t know that about the war.”

Pearl sighed.

“Small Lady, I fear there is a lot you don’t know.”

“Why would you be afraid?” Peridot was now looking at her.

Why, indeed, would she say that? Fear of what?

Her leaders, she knew, had orchestrated the preset, past, and future of the Empire. It maybe wasn’t so big a deal. But what about all the archives she’d gone through over the years. There were different texts about the same time periods, but usually none of them gave a clear picture. Pearl knew her history, and it hardly matched the things that circulated within the empire. She’d always taken this knowledge for granted, never quite accounting for how old she was.

She wanted to tell Peridot she wasn’t afraid. But she couldn’t let go of her real answer, clutching it even though it burned.

“I don’t know.” She reached out her hand to Peridot, helping her over some rubble in their path, “I just want everyone to be safe, and for the past not to matter.”

Peridot looked unsatisfied. She shrugged before reaching out her hand.

“I want to be of use. That’s the only thing that matters to me.”

Pearl wondered when it was she had misunderstood her master’s desires. _You want to be the best, but for someone? You want to be useful? That… that sounds like…_

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“My dear Lady…” Pearl understood then that they had something in common, just in different ways. Be it good or bad.

Peridot, still trailing behind her, looked around, and contemplated speaking. She stopped, tried, stopped. Finally, with a deep sigh, she paused in her steps, glancing over at her with a heaviness Pearl had never seen before. Peridot was always honest. She was about to say something she obviously could no longer hold inside.

It made Pearl feel ill.

“When you left me, something happened. I don’t understand it. But then I do. I hate that none of it is clear.”

Pearl walked a few steps up to where Peridot stood on the next floor’s platform. She took Peridot’s hand.

Peridot didn’t pull away. She seemed to understand Pearl’s concern. She looked confused and probably wanted Pearl’s help.

“I didn’t want to say anything to you, but I’ve been meeting with Ye—“ 

Pearl didn’t hear the rest of what Peridot was about to say. There was a deep rumbling that she felt in her chest, and the whole structure shook violently. Peridot looked in horror down at Pearl, and grasped her arm painfully tight as the steps beneath Pearl crumbled and fell away.

Pearl couldn’t even scream. Too much was happening. The building continued to shake, and Pearl watched the misery in Peridot’s eyes as she tried to hoist Pearl back to the platform where there was still solid ground. Something like an explosion in the distance caused another tremor, and the earsplitting screech of splintering metal soon followed.

Pearl stared up at Peridot. The technician was hysteric. Afraid. Afraid for Pearl.

“Let me go, mistress. Let me go or you’ll fall with me.” She ducked to the side and gasped, shielding her face from the falling debris with her free arm. Peridot could still escape. Peridot was wasting time holding her there, on the platform that could crumble at any moment. Panic surged within Pearl the more she thought about it.

“PERIDOT LET ME GO!” She was shouting, almost in tears. 

The other was struggling, but only tightened her grip.

“No!” 

Pearl whimpered, frustrated.

“Please… please dear Lady. Let me go.” Pearl couldn’t help that she was now crying.

Pearl was going to fail. Even in her last moments. She would fail.

“I’m not letting go.”

“Peridot—“

“I’M GOING TO PULL YOU BACK UP, IDIOT.” 

Pearl’s eyes widened. She saw the absolute confidence in her master’s eyes. Her panic now turned into determination. She believed her own words. She believed she was going to save Pearl.

“Give me your other hand.” Peridot grasped a metal beam. Pearl was confused. But then she understood.

Peridot would pull her up with one hand.

Peridot seemed to be reading her thoughts.

“The suit can handle it. I can do it.”

Pearl nodded.

She forced her other hand upward, tried balancing herself through the pain. She was almost there, almost grasping Peridot’s arm. Almost… then she had it.

Peridot was pulling her back with everything she had in her. Electricity surged through the suit. Pearl was almost there.

Almost.

Another distant explosion. Another shudder throughout the building. It was the end.

Falling, although she had anticipated it, was only made worse as she locked eyes with Peridot’s expression. She made no sound. Pearl fell quietly, almost gracefully. Falling as if all her existence had led up to this moment. This is what all her life had been. This falling. This never knowing if Peridot would be alright. Her death had been the look of horror in another’s eyes. A look into someone else’s failure, pain. Pearl thought of Lazuli. She smiled. A strange thing to do, but she did.

_If I had your wings, I could save us. I could save her. You. Me. The three of us. We could leave here. Far away. Beyond… what was it you said?_

_That makes no sense, Lazuli._

_This makes no sense._

It was her last thought before darkness swept her away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am trying to get more chapters out as soon as I can but I just don't have the proper time. I'm practically crying over this whole thing (well, almost). Next chapter is an immediate continuation of this. Sorry to... leave you hanging! HA. Or actually, to just let you fall into a pit of darkness. Hm.
> 
> I apologize for my lack of restraint in writing these dumb notes.


	17. The Obscured

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl is alive, but just barely. Separated from Peridot by an impossible obstruction, she has only one way back to the surface, but the path is murky, and her mind seems to be playing tricks on her. Despite lack of faith in Yellow Diamond's choice in gems, Phantom Quartz does as is told, and lurks in the shadows of the abandoned city, eyes on both Pearl and Peridot.

_I’m a criminal, but not one of their empire. My trial is not in their court, not in their hands. It was a blackout. I closed my eyes when I was asked to shut them, but that didn’t matter, because I could still hear. I could still feel each one of my kind thinking I was dead, thinking I wasn’t ready, just like them. They had faith in me._

_I had faith in nothing._

_“Open your eyes.”_

_And it was all over. My home looked so beautiful from the ship. We were near our moon, in a ring of ice. All of it was ice now. An arctic wasteland that glimmered from the stars. I was a murderer of millions, dressed in the galaxy’s finest garb, lips painted, a noble, a jewel, the rarest, most powerful. I watched as I became the last of my kind from thousands of miles in space._

_A criminal._

_The most beautiful thing I have ever seen was a blackout, that split second where it seemed something was actually being made, and not destroyed. That split second of disassociation, where wrong couldn’t possibly exist. There is not one left to convict me. No one who remembers or cares._

_What was it I wanted? My life? Oh, I have that. I am a diamond’s novelty._

_I pull at my leash like a vicious beast. I snarl, but dare not bite. It’s why they laugh when I howl at moons. It’s why they let me walk farther and farther ahead. Because they can yank me back at their side, and I wouldn’t fight. I would only end up hurting myself._

_What a terrible injustice it would be for me to die. The criminal knows what she’s done. She rules here. She knows dying would be too easy. I have too much to atone for. My sins will burn like the ice of their death, but without end. I have no black. No rest._

_But then I find you._

_What am I supposed to do?_

_I lie to you. I discover I am worse than I thought. Because I want you all for myself. I want to feel like I have somehow redeemed myself by keeping you safe._

_It only gets worse when you start to love me._

_Don’t die on me._

_I’ve failed you twice already._

_Don’t die._

_Please._

“ _L a …”_ The sound was mangled, raspy.

She coughed.

Dust clouded her vision. She was wedged beneath two large slabs of concrete, brick and rubble filling in the little free space she had to move. Iron foundations within the concrete stuck out inches from her chest, jutted into her shoulder. Moving forward would impale her.

_“La… Lap…”_

She could only see vague light. Rubble obstructed her view of the surface. She lifted an arm, unable to cry out when she discovered how badly it stung. 

_What terrible thing have you done, Lapis? What terrible thing has kept you away?_

“PEARL!”

She thrust out her arm, despite the devastating shock it caused. She could almost reach out. Almost.

“Please. _Please._ ”

The agony in the voice echoing from the surface made Pearl shudder.

“It’s …. O…k….S m a l l …. L a….d..y” Pearl’s voice was not even a whisper. She kept her hand outstretched, hoping to be seen, if only to give her master reassurance.

“I let go. ”

_Lapis, Peridot thinks this is her fault. But it’s mine._

Pearl thought Lapis was perhaps trapped there with her. Her thoughts collided with pain. She was dashing through a battlefield. Applause rained down as she ended her dance. She was beaten and locked in the dark for weeks. She was nothing, then everything, her name falling from the lips of a gem with wings of water. Amnesia. Blooms of feeling disconnected from clarity. She was nothing again.

_Lapis Lazuli._

_I was in love._

_What am I doing here._

“ PEARL! PEARL!”

Peridot’s voice was garbled as the concrete around Pearl began to collapse, Pearl along with it.

Pearl wanted to reassure her master that everything was alright. She wanted only to keep Peridot safe. Take care of what she had been given in this life. But was it more than that? 

Pearl drowned her feelings for Peridot in memories of blue skin, a dance in the stars, a mirror. 

She had shielded herself and tumbled down the mound of rock and metal, meeting a sudden sharp incline, slippery with a stream of water and moss. It was a long fall. She rolled down, able to stand once she’d landed on level ground. She rubbed a scrape across her cheek, and looked up, mind still spinning, It was disheartening to discover the wide gutter she’d slid over was incredibly steep, just short of being a wall. Pearl was perhaps thirty feet down. There was no way back up.

She turned to the dark tunnel behind her, stared into darkness. With the light of her gem, she inspected the path: it went only one way, and it didn’t seem to end anywhere close. 

Pearl looked back up, then to the tunnel. Reluctantly, she realized she had only one option.

“Hurry up, Pearl.”

Pearl, startled by the voice, looked wildly around.

“Lapis?” She croaked, voice still useless.

“With those enormous feet you should be able to move faster. Don’t take that the wrong way. I love your feet. Especially when we compare. Mine are so... tiny.”

It was the water gem for sure, but her voice was fading, as if she were walking too far ahead.

Pearl glanced back up at the sealed hole from where she’d fallen. She sighed. Things could get stranger, but at least she wasn’t alone. Pearl made disorientated stride after the dark, a ghostly voice leading the way.

…………………………………………………..

The city was dead, save for the inconvenience of animals so accustomed to the dark they were blind. Some wild from it, others benign. Phantom Quartz sailed through, her form vaporous, only her gleaming red and yellow eyes visible. She narrowed them.

She’d been accompanying the strange pair for weeks. Under her Diamond’s orders, Phantom spent hours watching them from the shadows. How unexpectedly curious were the peridot and pearl. The runt of a technician was quite clever, the pearl endlessly resourceful. It certainly wasn’t a boring task to listen in and watch them from within the walls of the city. The peridot had built a valuable asset for the frontlines of battles to come. But however impressive the peridot seemed, Phantom believed little in her worth as an important figure in the uprising. The peridot was young, so young she had never seen war. The technician gem couldn’t possibly understand the world from where her and Yellow emerged, and the suffering that had lead them to this time and place. What could this gem know of loyalty? Respect? The willingness to give oneself up for the cause of their leader? Phantom wanted the peridot out of the equation. 

She just didn’t know how without defying Yellow Diamond’s commands.

There was rarely anything Yellow set out before Phantom to which she did not agree. But the entire framework of Yellow’s plan to overtake the Authority seemed feeble at best. Phantom wanted it. Badly. But to coincide their cause with the erratic actions of rebels seemed for once reckless of her master. This particular rebellion seemed weak. It had momentum now, but the Authority wasn’t going to hold back for long. White Diamond wasn’t going to hold back for long. No more powerful than the other three Diamonds, White’s real advantage didn’t lie in her chemical composition. It was the resources she had gathered and hoarded over time. She withheld gem knowledge that she had swiped from all recorded history. There were those abominations she’d created during the war. There was the gem magic thought dead. And countless other disgusting crimes she’d committed. Pink Diamond had been the thorn in Yellow’s side during the war, but White Diamond was the one who made sure that wound would never heal. White Diamond had always been the ugliest of the four. Always.

Unable to successfully question her Diamond, Phantom had only time to build a deeper sense of doom than before. For now, she could only morosely nitpick at the tasks to which she was assigned. 

Like the peridot.

Phantom Quartz predicted betrayal. The peridot, in the confusion of this barely intact plan, would turn on them. Or be an indecisive figure. Those with little faith in their actions were the most dangerous individuals of all.

And what of Yellow Diamond’s interests in the peridot, beyond her utilitarian uses?

Little things, minute details, reminded Phantom of a weakness in Yellow. A weakness that had played a role in the end of The Last War. 

Anthracite.

Phantom didn’t want to think of Anthracite. She’d resolved to not think of her in the past few years. If anything ever so haunted Phantom, deep within her being, it was Anthracite. The gem… not a gem… something… something not meant to exist, and yet, she did. 

Pure.

That was the word Yellow Diamond used. A word that didn’t sound strange on Yellow’s lips, though it should have. 

_Pure_.

Yellow Diamond’s only weakness had been a need to protect. Something Yellow no longer believed in. Yellow Diamond could not save Anthracite. And Anthracite could not save herself.

Anthracite was meant to die.

Was this the case with the peridot? In Yellow Diamond’s eyes, that same preoccupation as before. So long, long ago.

This Peridot. How could Phantom compare her to Anthracite? They were nothing alike. Nothing. But Phantom knew her Diamond would defend the gem to the end. Yellow was not, at any point, going to allow the peridot to fail.

_I’m being paranoid._

“She’s a work of art,” Yellow Diamond had been sitting with Phantom over the ledge of a tower, miles above the city, “like you.”

Phantom hadn’t said anything. There was little effort in her scowl.

“She’s marvelous, and she hates everyone.” Yellow Diamond smirked. It was her effort at trying to lighten the dark over the quartz gem. But Phantom was the dark. And from there she knew too much.

“I’m sure I’ll understand.” Phantom refused to assume her physical form. Yellow Diamond was conversing with a shadow with two sets of eyes.

Yellow Diamond would try and put things differently. Try and get Phantom on her side.

“From here,” Yellow Diamond had been staring intently at Phantom, and then looked down at the glimmering lights beneath them, the specks of gems crowded on that strangely clear night, “from here we have a view of the entire capitol. How often do any of us notice this view? We see it from there," Yellow glanced up at the floating palace, “we see it every day. But _becoming_ the view from above, that is something that takes much more time. Once you open your eyes,” Yellow turned to Phantom, “you realize the importance of being part of what’s below as well. Their life, the interworking’s of each relationship we have to things, each other, it constructs the view we are so quick to forget. And so, if we know anything at all, we know that we are spending all of existence going between the two.”

Phantom looked away.

She let out a demoralized laugh.

“Is this the world to you?”

Yellow Diamond glanced toward her, unmoved,

“No.”

“So what exactly are you telling me?”

“There is a way to see everything at once.” 

“That’s altruism.”

Yellow Diamond had turned to her, looking almost amused,

“No. It’s the answer to a problem.”

Back in the present, Phantom turned over those words, that idea. 

_No. It’s altruism, and it almost killed you once._

And that’s when the underground city shook, swayed beneath her. An attack. Buildings crumbled like sand, others cracked down the center.

After hours of nothing down in the abandoned city, Phantom watched the building where the pearl and peridot were exploring collapse to its foundation.

Claws digging into the stone of the ledge where she watched, Phantom growled into the dark,

“Aww… _fuck_.” 

……………………………………………………………….

“These stupid— ARGH! THIS DUMB UNDERGROUND TRASH CITY!” Peridot shook off some rats that were very determined to climb up her suit. She kicked at them, knocking a few against the window of a building. She’d been trudging through the rubble of the collapsed building, but found nothing. Pearl could be beneath there still. She saw that there had been a tunnel beneath, but access was completely blocked. 

She didn’t want to wander far from where they had first began their trip. The tunnels could lead all over the city, but if Pearl returned, Peridot didn’t want her to find herself alone.

It was more than likely Pearl would have been crushed in such a fall.

Peridot refused to believe Pearl was anything but alive.

Her panic and sorrow had become a determined annoyance. She was disgusted by her situation, her surroundings, and the rebel attack that had caused all this mess. She had checked the radio once she could get reception. Sure enough. Bombed.

They were bombing now.

Peridot knit her brow, repeating the alert.

She thought of Yellow Diamond.

By now Peridot had ascertained that her diamond had some hand in these changes occurring in the Empire. Yellow Diamond wanted the exo-suits for battle purposes. There was going to be a war.

When or how, that was muddled. Peridot wondered what her diamond thought of the rebels. Was their activity helping, or hurting, her master’s cause?

Who else was Yellow meeting with?

Peridot indeed was working against the Authority, under one rogue diamond. A diamond that had failed against Pink, Blue, and white. Why was Peridot not trying to stop this. Why was she meeting with Yellow. 

It was difficult to refuse a diamond. One who could have her killed in seconds without repercussion. But that wasn’t entirely it. Yellow was reassuring, in that, to Peridot, her proposals were logical. Yellow Diamond wanted to utilize all her resources to their full potential. She wanted equality based off effort and ability. Or at least, this is what Peridot had gathered so far.

Her Diamond was also frightening. Her diamond… Peridot couldn’t help referring to her this way. As a possessor. Although it meant the reverse. 

Peridot was Yellow Diamond’s possession.

She groaned, kicking at more rubble.

One thing had come out of this disaster. Something good. Very good.

Something Peridot had not completely absorbed yet, as she was focused on finding Pearl (and those stray thoughts about Yellow).

Peridot didn’t need a power source for her suit.

Peridot was the power source.

When the building went down, Pearl with it in that pit of black, Peridot had frantically tried finding a way down, though the stair wells were crooked and broken up. The framework of the structure had stayed mostly intact, so she risked staying inside. She was leaping to platforms, falling at times. Shielding herself from falling debris. When the shaking had stopped, Peridot had been yelling down at the bottom floor, overturning fallen platforms.

She remembered her blaster and impulsively shot into the wreckage. Not only did this cause the building to quake some, she also realized that, if Pearl were somewhere in there, Peridot could either kill her from the blast or from more slabs of foundation and metal crushing her. Frustrating.

The suit had been powering down as she searched the building, and she was pleading with the inanimate battery not to shut down. This would have added only more to the nightmare. Without her suit, Peridot wasn’t able to search through the mess. What would she do with the suit? The radio? Defend herself if there were anything other than rats down there? 

Peridot had constructed the suit in a way that it partially fused to her skin. Not completely fused, but almost. Even so, the microscopic chips that dig into her carried information from the suit’s every function, and it could take into it whatever was fed from the outside.

She still wasn’t entirely sure how, but when the battery finally dipped too low, it only powered back. Powered back slowly to full capacity.

Confused, she was certain something was malfunctioning.

But no.

Peridot couldn’t see herself, but she could feel her vision fade into a light that read code from inside her. She felt the suit more closely than before. Almost as if she was the suit.

She wasn’t aware that this was the work of her gem, in way much more extraordinary than any gem of her class.

This was a technician’s ability, right? She could explain it no other way. Peridot wondered if she had been able to do this before. But Pearl and her had never used the suit beyond half its battery life. Peridot wouldn’t have known unless the suit had been almost dead. 

They didn’t need to waste time sneaking around for power supply anymore.

Too much was happening.

_This doesn’t make the current state of things any less pathetic._

Her annoyance deflated back into the anguish she had been repressing. 

_Pearl._

She paused.

It hurt.

When Pearl had gone that first time, Peridot could only barely function. That was a weak time. The only time. What if Pearl _was_ gone? What did that mean for Peridot? She had her mission. She had… Yellow Diamond.

By now there was no more lying to herself. Whatever defect they said Pearl had, Peridot couldn’t find it. And Peridot, master of efficiency, would have found it. Sure, she was sometimes annoying, and so disturbingly subservient, in a way that made Peridot disgusted by the upper class, but Pearl was a decent gem, actually, more than decent. Peridot was doubting all she had ever learned about caste. This was partially influenced by Yellow Diamond’s ideas, but this came on more because of the time she spent with Pearl. Pearl was so much more valuable than anyone had ever given her a chance to be.

Why should such an exemplary gem be treated so cruelly? 

Pearl’s pain was so obvious even Peridot could see it.

The technician had gone through her life indifferent of the outside world. She’d seen only what she wanted, and it was not necessary to question a system that seemed to be effective. But Pearl had changed everything. Peridot was forced to see her world from a distance, with an understanding of those small things that made the whole.

Peridot thought of Pearl’s fingers over hers. What it would be like if Peridot had taken Pearl’s hand and held it, like Pearl had tried unsuccessfully so many times before. Why did anyone want to hold a hand. 

Why did anyone let go.

Peridot clutched her chest, stopping for a moment to stare out into the street. How was any of this supposed to work out?

Peridot resumed to delving through ruins, but also her state of mind. If she didn’t have optimism, she at least had tenacity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I probably should have broken this up. But making these three perspectives a single chapter would have made them too short. Anyway, pretty soon we'll be out of this mess and back to the surface. Or something.


	18. With or Without

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl follows an ominous glow in the dark, motivated by the sound of Lapis Lazuli's song.

_Do you still… did you ever…_

_I’ve waited so long._

Pearl wasn’t limping so badly as she had been almost half an hour since she’d fallen. Pearl’s guide had decided she wasn’t going to respond to any of Pearl’s questions. The vague Lapis had little substance, and when Pearl was able to catch up and see the faint outline, she would disappear, beyond the light of Pearl’s gem. Pearl had give up. What she followed now was a humming . Or a hymn. Something slightly familiar.

The water gem’s voice was drowned somewhere in the mythic sound, and it was the only reason Pearl continued on after it.

This walk was turning out quite ominous. But it was all she had.

_So, the return of Sewer Pearl, queen of the gutters._

She groaned.

Pearl retrieved something from her gem. The sewer pipe. 

“I should feel better now,” She reassured herself proudly, “I’ve done this before. If anything, I’m in my element. … Oh diamond. _Oh_.” She’d been all smiles for only a moment, and then looked sadly at her makeshift sword. Or spear, really.

She hoped this wasn’t going to be a recurring theme in her adventures with mistress Peridot.

Pearl didn’t mind the adventure part.

Just the dark, mucky tunnels part.

Looking at the faint light of Lapis before her, she thought about the conversation between her and Peridot before they were so rudely interrupted. The solemn moment had unfairly coincided with the dramatic collapse of the building. It figured. Pearl was always answering questions. Pearl was always the one talking. Peridot knew more about Pearl than Pearl knew about Peridot. At least, when it came to their past. Not to mention whatever grave secret Peridot had been hoarding since Pearl returned from her failed sewer life.

She sighed.

Pearl didn’t want to admit it, but this path may very well lead her to danger. She at least had her weapon.

Pearl had a faint sense that she’d experienced all this before. But her memory was dim. Her thinking still wasn’t in proper order.

The lulling hymn echoed from far away somewhere. 

Lapis led them to a fork. After a brief pause, she led them left. It was a dead end. Nothing but a wall of moss and glimmering insects. Jagged rubble blocked another path.

“Do you still have the mirror?”

Pearl, startled, whipped around to find Lapis before her. 

Fully visible, complete Lapis.

Pearl couldn’t react in the way she had imagined. She was supposed to go to her.

Pearl was afraid.

“…mirror.”

“Yes. Do you still have it?”

Pearl struggled hard enough to respond, “Yes.”

“Oh. Ok.” Lapis casually walked passed her, standing close to the wall lit with tiny gem insects. She touched it, running her hand along broken edges.

Pearl frowned.

“Why do you ask?”

Lapis shrugged.

There was a silence.

“You need to do this before you leave.” Lapis seemed to be referring to something having to do with the blocked path.

“Do what?” Pearl touched the wall beside Lapis.

“You won’t be able to reach it. Not yet. But you need to take a look. Then you can come back with her.”

“How are you here?” Pearl, feeling a deep hopelessness now, turned to Lapis, her hand still against the mossy rubble, “What am I supposed to see?”

“You already know.”

Lapis looked different. Simpler. Tired. She was dressed like a commoner.

“What happened to you—“

“You’re wondering if I still love you.” Lapis walked over to Pearl, holding out her hand to her face, as if she were going to rest it against Pearl’s cheek.

But she drew it away just as fast. Second thoughts.

“But only recently. You never questioned it before.”

Pearl felt a sharp pain, 

“You left me.” She swallowed the confirmed doubts.

“I guess I did leave.”

Pearl searched for a redeeming response,

“I’ve waited for you, but at some point I had to put it out of my mind. But I waited. I’m still waiting.”

“Then wait some more.”

“…What else is there?”

“I don’t know.”

Silence.

Mixed feelings welled sharply in her chest. Two distinct voices echoed clearly in her mind.

_She’s not nothing! ….We’re the last of our kind...I wouldn’t have come back if you were useless… It’s a mirror, I thought you’d like it…_

_Can we just…sit?_

Wait for what?

_Why did you go?_

Small Lady.

Why were they here? What was the significance of a dead end?

“Lapis,” Pearl pressed a palm against her forehead, trying to rub away the confusion, “why are you being so vague? Why are we here? Why are _you_ here?”

“Oh, Pearl. I’m not actually here. I thought maybe you understood. Lapis Lazuli is far away, beyond your star. Just like you, in a time you can’t even begin to imagine. But that’s not important right now.”

Pearl didn’t know how to answer. It felt as if some light had washed out of her physical being.

Lapis smiled.

“I’m you. You’re in trouble, and you’re hurt, and so you’ve created something to help you. You’re hallucinating.”

Pearl shook her head, “No, no. You’re here. YOU’RE HERE.”

“I’m not real. You’re talking to yourself. You’re thinking all these things. So you have the answers. I will admit, though, that there is some other element at play. You would have been drawn here even if that attack had never happened. You’d have fallen somehow. That part, I can’t explain. But you knew this place from a map. One you’d never catalogued in that lovely gem of yours, but you’ve seen it before.”

“But you’re _here_.” Frustrated, Pearl finally let herself cry.

Lapis sighed. She touched the sides of the elegant gem’s face with her small hands. She leaned into her.

Just as Pearl remembered the water gem doing countless times. But the kiss was cold air. Nothing.

“You know I can’t stay. I forget, though, about her. She’s here with you now. Not me. So please don’t be afraid,” Lapis drew away, looking down as she held onto her elbow, “The both of you are kind of the same. You don’t accept that you are more than what you are. Just like her. It’s… it’s really something.”

Lapis spoke with harrowing despondence.

Pearl felt that pain again. Lapis appeared fainter than before.

“Are you talking about… but you don’t know her.” Pearl knew the truth.

“I told you, I’m you. But you’re feeling better, so I have to go.”

“No, you don’t. You can stay here. You can stay. Please stay. _Please_.” Pearl held out a hand, but couldn’t bring herself to touch the icy gem.

“Maybe some of me is here. That would be something, too, wouldn’t it? But nothing compares to the now. For all we know… I’m dead… or not… maybe…” Her voice and her form faded into nothing.

The tunnels shook slightly for a few seconds.

Pebbles and loose dust rained down from above. When the upset had passed, Pearl looked up at the blocked entryway.

Pearl was tired.

She lifted the pipe.

“Fine. I’ll look,” she hacked away at some loose rubble and foliage, “but then I’m getting out of here.”

She couldn’t be too enthusiastic. The entrance was lower than the height of the tunnel, but it could still very well collapse in her. A pocket of weak sedimentary rock was her in.

Lifting her javelin, she repeatedly jabbed the end of it into the rock, careful she wasn’t disturbing any of the looming boulders.

A few grueling minutes later, there it was.

A warp pad.

“Oh my diamond… this… oh.” 

She could only peer in, afraid she’d risk collapse of the entrance.

It was a mostly intact room, glimmering with black and blue gem dust. Strange. A little morbid. Although, that could be the remains of gem soldiers fallen from war. On closer inspection, this seemed very likely the case. There were inscriptions with gem titles and dates, very old dates. Old wars. Some of the language was so old Pearl had only seen it on planets that now lay in ruins. Old societies. There weren’t many names, but the strange memorial was enough to indicate their importance.

Still, it was an unorthodox shrine.

Regardless the contents along the walls, most importantly there was a warp in the center of the room, perfectly intact. It was bright an untouched by the decay of the tunnels and city that seemed to have suffered a great deal. The city, likely, was built over something quite ancient.

This room, and possibly others, were purposely maintained.

Pearl tried moving stone out of her way, thinking that if she moved smaller ones, and was patient, she could eventually make a way for herself through. But after only a few minutes, she stepped back again and realized the instability of the obstruction.

She sighed.

At least she could record the image. Show Peridot.

If they were ever going to see each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super excited about the warp pad because, yes, they actually return to it. And it's pretty important later on. And all that gem dust means something...kind of creepy. Just as Pearl suspects. Next chapter immediately follows this. (so, more Pearl).


	19. The Dark You Know, The Dark You Don't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pearl finds her way to the surface, and is on her way back to her master. But, of course, things aren't that easy. One last obstacle before the end of this nightmare.

Lapis was swimming circles within Pearl’s subconscious, spilling out finally when Pearl had no choice but to let her free. But it still felt as if Lapis had been there. 

Pearl felt her insides cave in.

_You have those ridiculous feet. It might be my favorite thing about you._

Pearl looked down at her steps over the tunnel stream. She laughed. A pained laugh.

_“I’m still waiting.”_

_“Then wait some more.”_

What did Pearl want?

What happened to Peridot? Had she found a way back the platform? How far down had Pearl fallen? How would Peridot know where to find Pearl, if she were even looking for Pearl? 

_“I’m going to pull you back up, idiot!”_

Pearl stared down at her free hand, the one Peridot had gripped so hard it was bruised. 

She clenched her fist, holding it against her chest. Her small lady. Her mistress. What a funny thing. The two of them. Pearl had been exiled in the most improbable of scenarios. Her master was a hermit, a genius, a treasonous crank. Her master was kind.

Innately kind? Kind only for Pearl?

In the second case, _why_? 

Why at all?

Pearl was grateful from the start, but going from the palace to literal shambles in one day had taken some time getting used to. Peridot was probably a worst case scenario master in terms of transitioning. For a long time, the technician hadn’t even known what to do with Pearl. But things changed. Eventually Pearl worked alongside Peridot, still taking orders and being bossed around, but respected for her abilities. As long as Pearl helped her on projects, and at the hangar, Pearl could do and be anything she wanted, sitting around the capsule reading out loud to Peridot about gem history, astronomy, legend. When they weren’t sneaking into the night to practice dance and defense, they watched holograms of their progress, huddled on the floor under the counter. 

She may have even made Peridot smile now and then.

Which, she had to admit, was a bit heart-melting.

Pearl unclenched her fist, brushing away her long hair.

_“She’s not nothing!”_

That had been the moment, hadn’t it? That’s what had made Pearl want to stay. Why she followed the technician to her apartment. Waited for her even after Peridot had slammed the door in her face. 

“Peridot.”

She said it only to hear the name outside of her head, in a tone she had never used before.

She said it again.

“ _Peridot._ ” 

There was endearment in each syllable.

She had never wanted to protect something so dearly. Not since Lapis. 

Pearl, as she continued walking down the tunnel, frowned.

Not since Lapis?

Pearl didn’t like the comparison. Even so, there was no need to feel near repulsed at equating her protection of Peridot to her devotion to Lapis. 

She was trying to separate those two things, as if to clarify to herself what she was feeling. What she was supposed to feel.

Pearl remembered Lazuli’s hands all over, Lazuli’s kiss. _That_ kiss. They curled under the arches where they first met, hidden by water and vines. A particular memory, when Lapis was on her side, bare back luminous in the moonlight. She was humming as Pearl ran her fingers along her spine, down her back… Lapis was unable to keep from laughing, though Pearl had meant to be serious. But then, Pearl was laughing too. Pearl was pulled down against the soft blooms, being kissed, and what they had done they started all over.

Pearl blushed, ending the memory before it went any further, before it distracted her too much.

What was this supposed to be about?

That feeling. 

Her thoughts had gone too far. All of it was wrong in so many ways. And how could she ever consider a master close enough to be a friend, or something else. These were the things that had gotten Pearl in trouble. She always tried to ignore the fact that she had experienced a very real affair with a gem of much higher status. 

Pearl was obsessed with the order of things, with the exception of that one glaring blot.

_Why am I thinking about this now?_

Pearl could make out a shy sliver of light from above, concealed beneath cables and vines. She stared at the wall which was completely covered in more vines and shredded wiring. Some very unfriendly looking millipedes immediately rushed from their hiding to investigate Pearl when she attempted to brush away the overgrowth. 

“UGH.” She stepped back and held her metal spear overhead, and then swung it into the overgrowth with a series of angry thwacks.

“Honestly.” She huffed, angrily tying her hair up in a, “I’m quite done with this place.” 

After clearing it enough to see the actual wall, there was a service ladder leading up toward the light. It was an exit.

It did indeed lead lead back to the surface. She climbed out into the dark city, glancing around to find herself surrounded by buildings. She was on a street. Faint electricity buzzed through some windows, flickering.

_Did the blow knock the grid back to life?_

Whether it did or didn’t, Pearl was uneasy and walked about with caution.

By now, she’d been below a few hours, and from the winding of the tunnel she could be anywhere in the vast city, and likely far from her master, and far from an exit. Passing the old structures, she’d found that most of them had been stripped of whatever materials and items that had once been inside. Soldiers had been housed here. Pearl imagined the city all those centuries ago. The remaining armies kept post here. There were thousands and thousands of them. Soldiers told that war was no longer their purpose. Who among them was angry, who among them was relieved? Who, in that time, dreamed of this future? Pearl looked out at the foundations, the builders, engineers. They were erecting the Diamond Authority’s first gift to the gems of their empire. 

War was over.

_The war is never over._

Lapis Lazuli had been so desperate for Pearl to understand that war was the blood of the Authority.

Pearl stopped in the street. She needed to say something. Do something about what she had overheard in the tunnels. This quiet life she was establishing was a lie. It meant nothing if another war started. If violence again returned. She would have to come out. Even if it was at her own expense.

Pearl didn’t want to see anyone die.

_…violence…_

Standing there still, she thought of all the archives she’d read through, all the history she had lived. Members of the court scarified in the name of diamond wisdom. Diamond whim. Diamond anger. Diamond disgust. Even so, it was all for the gems of the Authority. Small prices to pay. Not minding the rumors she had heard about planets being cleared. Colonies crushed, replaced by kindergartens.

Nothing made sense.

“….” Pearl clutched her pipe , ready to use the weapon. She thought she had seen a shadow.

More than one shadow.

Whirring sounds.

Moody, in and out whirring.

She turned wildly in all directions.

She thought of Actinolite, and she froze. Everything logical and collected about Pearl drained from her head down through her abdomen, her feet. She was cold. Dead.

“…. Oh… OH!” Pearl was knocked to the ground on her back. With two hands she fought to keep away a salivating, sharp-toothed mouth that snapped vigorously at her face, snarling in a high-pitched frenzy.

It wasn’t Actinolite. It was an acid gator. She’d joked about them when they first discovered the city. Though it made no difference, she cursed herself for having mentioned them at all. This is what she got for trying to scare Peridot.

The beast was an upright, pale cave dweller. They were about Pearl’s height, with massive tails, stubby arms but enormous jaws. Their spines were traced with jagged scales, down to the tips of their tails. They were blind.

They were also known to occasionally spit acid.

Pearl made some desperate sounds, more annoyed than scared. She was too full of adrenaline to think of how she was going to die, snapped in half and then devoured into the crystal organs within the animal. Pearl dust.

“Get… off… of me…!” Per ducked from side to side, losing to the weight of the animal. She could see the globule of spit rising in the gator’s throat, and in the moment Pearl realized she had never wanted to die with her face melted off.

“HhhmmNNNNAAAA!” With one determined shove her assailant was thrown back several feet from her, and she stood up, in a stance that made her feel better prepared for its next move. The gator hissed and clawed its way back up, whipping its large tail back and forth.

It charged at her on all fours.

Pearl lifted herself high over the animal, landing soundlessly behind it and shoving the pipe into its backside. It wailed, but turned around and began swiping at her. Pearl kept form and blocked each attack, stepping backwards from it until she was trapped against the building wall. She had intended this.

Using the wall for support, she flung herself unto its back. With the base of her spear she slammed repeatedly into its head. It screeched an ugly, guttural sound.

Pearl hadn’t realized that two more of the animals had emerged out to the street, now focused on ridding their dwelling of Pearl.

Pearl’s dancing was now of complete relevance. 

She jumped backwards off the first gator as it shook her off, blades on its back threatening to slice her. All three beasts surrounding her, Pearl made a revolution and hit all three in the underside of their jaws. As they dived for her, she ducked low and shot herself from beneath them, again throwing one of them off by suddenly appearing behind it.

She wasn’t able to handle all three, despite successfully dodging all of their attacks. Pearl had to outrun them.

Pearl sped up the street into the dim city, having to swing her metal spear at the snapping jaws behind her now and then. She was only barely ahead of them.

One managed to nab her pipe in its jaws, yanking Pearl with it. She tumbled back, pipe still in hand. She tugged at it, somewhat able to fight them off again. 

But eventually it was too much.

Holding back one of the gators, it began to spit up acid, this time droplets of it spattering in Pearl’s face. Screeching, it bit down on her weapon and Pearl watched in dismay as it was eaten through the center with gator death saliva.

There was that fluttery whirring again. Faint shadows moving quickly around them, circling. Pearl realized that what she had heard earlier had been this, and not the approaching beasts.

Pearl could barely see. Her gem lit what was before her, but the city lighting was as low as the glow of burning charcoal. Yet the ghostly shadow was somehow even darker than the dark, distinct and looming.

Pearl watched, entranced, as the circling shadows under the beasts rose up around each of them, a spinning disc of dark that seemed to confuse the animals. Whorls of black expanded, began forming a vice around Pearl’s attackers. Each one now in a shadow grasp, struggling, part of the shadow rose above them, and Pearl could make out what appeared to be another gem.

Some… otherworldly gem.

She moved like a massive animal, all of her darkness. The gem had two sets of eyes, the upper pair deep red, the bottom pair intensely yellow. 

The shadow gem, from where she hovered, lifted each gator off the ground with her three vaporous arms, and paused briefly as the animals screeched above Pearl; violently each limb slammed into the concrete, and Pearl winced when she heard the shattering and crack of their crystal viscera. One gator still had the grit to keep fighting, and lunged at the phantom as she lightly descended. In a flash, the gem vanished into the ground, and rose up, encasing the assailant in her colossal arms. Shadow vapor was all over, and in a moment, the gator was dead, obliterated as the dark gem crushed it within a tight ball.

Pearl, heaving breath, in terrible pain, supported herself against a building, eyes wide and gawking up at the enormous specter with a gaping mouth. The remains of the pipe fell to the ground with a loud clank. Pearl couldn’t move.

She could distinguish some of its features in all that black. There was a body. A face. Hands. It said nothing and did nothing. It only stared back.

Then, without any warning, the gem hissed at Pearl, barring very sharp, red teeth. It lifted one hand, where Pearl could see a glimmering gem, and folded in on itself as it dropped without sound into the street, into the shadows.

It had gone.

Pearl slid down against the wall, still panting. She looked all around herself, unsure about what else was waiting in the dark. 

_What… what was that?_

The shock tapering off, Pearl jumped up from the ground, looked for a random path, and ran. She ran and couldn’t stop. She was an absolute mess, thoughts processing –or not processing- all that had happened to her in that few hours. One thing dominated her thinking, inspired the miraculous speed at which she now dashed over the streets.

_Peridot._

She would find her.

Pearl still repressed her complete feeling, despite what Lapis had told her. She told herself this urgency was for the warp. For Peridot’s _mission_. For her master. To simply stay alive. Because Pearl was a servant and this is what servants did. And Pearl had always done her best to be what she was told she was, her whole life.

Pearl’s heart was bursting at the seams, and all she could do was run faster. As if this were going to mend each tear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Ahhhh. I had so much fun writing this chapter. I just want everything to be kissing and fight scenes. Doesn't everyone? IDK. Sorry. Also, I don't know how anyone else feels, but I would definitely want Phantom Quartz on my side... even if helping me would, apparently, be annoying. Next chapter Pearl and Peridot reunite... and share a very new experience (don't worry. It isn't anything bad. Because by now, I'm pretty sick of this arc).


	20. Close Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot tries to give it a name

What was there to do but move stuff out of the way? It was almost morning. Light was coming through from cracks above the city, from the surface platform.

“AUGH.” Peridot kicked at more rats, standing on a mound of rubble, “THIS PLACE IS INFESTED WITH SO MANY LOWLY SENTIENT LIFEFORMS. I SWEAR, WHEN I FIND YOU PEARL I’M GOING TO USE MY BLASTER ON THESE GEMFORSAKEN—“

Pearl was standing just below her, looking up, hair a tangled mess, body covered in dirt, maybe soot, and all manner of scrapes and bruises.

They stared at each other a moment, faint light falling on the ugly remains of an even uglier failed structure.

“Hello, Small Lady.”

Pearl was subdued. She looked terrible. She was smiling, faintly.

Peridot felt something twist inside then almost leap out. 

“…P-PEARL!” She stumbled down from the mound, sliding with some debris, jumping off and running into her companion

Peridot had never hugged anyone before, but she wasn’t thinking about that. Nor was she aware of how painful her grip probably was, especially with her suit. But Pearl, ever polite, or really just desiring too much to please, said nothing. She dropped her head on Peridot’s shoulder, her slender arms holding on to Peridot’s back.

“I’m sorry I took so long.” Pearl’s voice was still raspy.

Peridot clutched her tighter.

“ _You’re such a clod_.” She said it quietly, not at all meaning it. She buried her face in Pearl’s unkempt hair, remembering vaguely the first time they had met. 

She laughed.

Pearl shuffled a bit.

“Are you all right?” Pearl’s voice was muffled against Peridot’s own mass of hair.

Peridot didn’t know what to say. Expressing anything right now felt impossible. She meant to nod, but instead, shook her head.

Pearl, of course, was crying. Quietly. Peridot only knew because she felt the tears fall on her shoulder.

She pulled away, a hand on either of Pearl’s shoulders.

“Why do you cry for everything?” Peridot didn’t sound any convincing and was fully aware of it.

“I don’t cry for everything!” Pearl laughed a bit.

Peridot just stared at her for a while. She felt a smile on her lips form. Small. But it was there.

“Can we go home now?” Pearl spoke down at the ground. 

Peridot nodded, grabbed Pearl’s hand, and marched out of the building.

They climbed an adjacent building, still able to get to the original platform. In the stairwell, Peridot kept getting ahead of Pearl. She looked back, irked at Pearl’s snail’s pace. Pearl apologized. She looked… so pathetic.

Peridot had no idea what had happened to Pearl. But she at least knew Pearl had fallen several stories down into concrete and metal. And she was still able to walk.

It took Peridot a little longer to process how someone else might feel. She was proud of herself for being able to analyze the situation, and not get caught up in only herself. She was learning.

“Oh… hey, never mind.” Peridot went down to where Pearl was struggling up the stairs. She stood awkwardly in front of Pearl a moment. Her eyes turned to the side, and she blushed faintly.

“Uh, Pearl… Uh.”

Pearl was just staring. Looking as if she were not entirely present.

“Uh… I’ll carry you.” 

Pearl wasn’t doing anything.

Peridot sighed. Awkwardly, she grabbed hold of her Pearl, and lifted her from the floor. Pearl, surprised, held tightly to Peridot, as if the other might drop her. Peridot gave her an annoyed look, and Pearl loosened her frightened grip. She relaxed, pressing her face against her master. Peridot sighed again, wanting to touch Pearl’s face, but being confused by this urge. 

She climbed back to the platform.

Peridot had to admit. Being able to carry Pearl was incredibly satisfying.

……………………………………………………………….

They had to be especially careful on their way back, so they could only summarize their experiences. Pearl’s had been massively more interesting. Frightening. Peridot had a deluge of questions, but she would hold them off for later. This wasn’t the right time for that. Peridot, now at the surface, was extremely reluctant to have to remover herself from the powersuit. She watched with mixed feelings as Pearl placed the parts in her gem. They might not be able to do much with it for a while. Not after the previous night.

Peridot was again having to look up at Pearl. But at least she had Pearl. Whether she looked up or down or level with her, all that mattered was that Peridot had something.

She couldn’t keep from staring, blinking through the rain.

Finally at the steps to the apartment, up the stairs to Peridot’s door, into Peridot’s capsule, Pearl stumbled in and headed for their spot under the counter. She leaned against the wall, eyes closed, then open, watching Peridot move around the capsule, put things away, inputting data on her computer. Peridot went to the window, looking out into the dismal maroon daylight, darkened by the rain clouds that were not moving on anytime soon. She scoffed and tightly shut the blinds. She had so much to do, so much to log.

And work. The hangar.

_Fuck._

She closed her eyes, palm to her face, groaning.

Pearl must have been reading her thoughts.

“What about work?”

“I have to go.”

“…”

“Onyx is going to kill me.”

“… she might. She might not.”

“I’m not going to weigh my options. I have none.” Peridot groaned again. She supposed it was no worse than when she had to work with her busted arm. 

“Peridot…” Pearl sighed deeply.

“YOU are staying here. I don’t want anyone asking questions about why you look like trash,” Peridot let out a pompous snort, “because you look like I dug you out of a landfill.” Kidding aside, Pearl wasn’t even in any condition to stand.

Pearl weakly shook her head, “Come here.” 

“What? Why?”

Pearl shook her head again, motioning for Peridot to do as she asked.

“You aren’t going anywhere. You’re as beaten as me.”

Peridot’s eye twitched.

“ _No_.” Peridot was simply thrown off by the fact that Pearl seemed to be giving her an order.

“ _Come. Here_.”

“No!”

“Come here or I’ll go over and get you myself.”

Pearl sat up some, looking as if she really were going to get up and come for Peridot.

“OK, ok. What? And I’m not staying I need to go.” Peridot stood in front of Pearl, not able to see much of her. She was staring down at the countertop. Peridot had already pulled up her log screen, prepared to rush out the door. 

Peridot felt a hand wrap around her ankle.

She was yanked to the ground, her behind slamming over the floor.

“HEY! WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A CLOD! CURSED DIAMONDS WHY DID I WASTE ALL THAT TIME TRYING TO FIND YOU, YOU, YOU CL—“ Peridot was flailing, trying to get back on her feet, but Pearl grabbed her, shoving a palm over her mouth.

“Don’t bite me.” She said slowly.

“I’m going to.” Peridot’s voice was muffled against her hand.

“Just… quiet. Just for a bit.” Pearl carefully withdrew her hand. 

Peridot swatted her away, but didn’t move. What was Pearl’s problem? Didn’t she want to rest? Peridot was doing her a favor.

“Can you… ” Pearl took out from her gem a velvety cloak, placing it over her lap, “right here.”

Peridot stared at her in revulsion. Nonsense.

But she couldn’t hide her enormous blush.

_Maybe I can… hold her hand?_

Peridot turned even darker blue.

Peridot made a small huff, and then grumbled a few nonsense words as she fell into Pearl’s lap. She curled against Pearl, feeling for some reason exposed. Pearl held her, head resting on Peridot’s shoulder. This was different from the hug down in the abandoned city.

“…your legs are incredibly thin.” Peridot muttered.

“Is that bothering you? I could—“

“No. It’s fine. What are we doing?” There must be something they were going to get out of this. There had to be some purpose.

“Remember when I combed your hair?”

“I do.” Peridot sounded suspicious. She couldn’t see Pearl’s expression.

“You were ok with that, right?”

Peridot squirmed a little.

“Not really,” She turned slightly back at Pearl, expression puzzled but not annoyed, “what are you going to do?”

“Something. But if it isn’t ok, let me know, and I’ll stop.”

This wasn’t sounding good.

“ _Pearl_ …” 

“Just… let me do this for you.” Pearl spoke softly. She sounded even sadder than before.

“Hrrrrmm,” Peridot sat up a little, trying to get comfortable in Pearl’s somewhat insubstantial lap, “yeah. Fine. Whatever.”

As she finally found herself settled, something grazed against her scalp, from her forehead back to her neck. Long fingers. Soft.

Peridot almost jerked away, but she stopped herself. She realized she had only been afraid of the sensation because it was new. Not because it didn’t feel good. Granted, she was a little upset about not being warned. She had many quips about touch.

But this was Pearl

Pearl was fast becoming the exception.

Especially in that moment.

“Is this ok?” Pearl stopped, almost drawing away her hand.

Peridot shrugged, and uttered a delayed, muffled “yes.”

Pearl’s fingers felt strange, yet soothing. Peridot focused on each stroke, feeling herself fall deeper into someplace she hadn’t realized she was always repressing. Peridot winced a little. Pearl thought she had done something wrong.

“No. That wasn’t you. Just, um, continue.” She was blushing. Good thing Pearl couldn’t see her face.

“Oh. Mhm.” Pearl lingered more in each spot, and Peridot shivered.

She hoped Pearl didn’t stop anytime soon.

The minutes silently fell away. There was only rain. 

Is this what Peridot had been wanting? This contact that she had been so confused about? So this was the appeal. It served no productive purpose, or maybe it did. 

They’d had a conversation about something like this only a few weeks ago. About things that Pearl sometimes did with her masters. Not all of them. But most of them. Peridot didn’t understand why Pearl refused to give any details about that kind of thing.

_“Contact?”_

_“Yes, Lady”_

Peridot was trying to picture this in her mind. She thought of Pearl hooked around the arm of her master somewhere. Pearl fussing with their hair. Holding their hands.

She blushed a little after these thoughts. 

_“So the upper class likes that kind of thing.”_

_“They have the time for it.”_

_“…do they do that a lot?”_

_“Um, well, not all the time.”_

_“Do you like it?”_

Pearl, at that point refused to give any more details and quickly changed the subject. 

Peridot had view of Pearl’s free hand. An arm against Peridot’s shoulder. She focused on it, trying to calculate how best to demonstrate that she learning was something from this. Maybe she could make Pearl feel as good?

Summoning enough courage, she reached out to Pearl’s hand, but wasn’t sure what to do with it. She held it, somewhat awkwardly pulling it between them. But this seemed to be a success. Pearl laced her fingers around hers. Peridot applied some pressure. Pearl did the same. 

This was a new kind of hand holding. 

Pearl paused. Her hand reached down around the sides of Peridot’s face. 

“Can I…?”

Peridot undid their entwined fingers, taking off her visor. She was going to settle back against Pearl, but Pearl touched her shoulder.

Peridot turned to her.

“What?”

Pearl just stared, concentrated on her. Then she smiled faintly. Pearl reached out to place a hand against her cheek.

Peridot didn’t know what was wrong, and the complete unfamiliarity of everything happening was now distressing.

“What?” She said again, frowning.

“I never see your face.”

So…that was it? Peridot’s face? She didn’t understand why that would be so interesting. But Pearl seemed to like it. Very much.

Peridot shrugged.

“I don’t like anything in my face when I’m working, and I’m always working. That’s why I always have my visor covering my face.”

“Ok.”

Peridot gave her a half smile. Pearl was being so strange today. She was probably delirious from what had happened. Matter fo fact, Peridot was probably delirious as well, because she was allowing this to happen. Not that Peridot didn’t like it. She didn’t understand entirely what was happening, but all of it was nice, and not like anything she had ever done before. Or thought of doing.

They continued to stare at each other. Long enough that Peridot started to get a funny feeling, and didn’t understand why she was blushing severely now. She looked down, wondering if there was something she was supposed to do. 

Pearl tried to say something, but stopped herself. She reached out to touch Peridot’s face again, this time with both hands. Pearl was intent on something, and for a split second, she had an expression in her eyes that, again, saddened Peridot.

_Is this for me? Or is it for someone else?_

Peridot was angry that this even mattered to her. Pearl had been in dozens of hands. And what did it matter… what Pearl’s intentions were.

Pearl was leaning in now, hands still balancing her head. Close. Very close.

Peridot, with an instinct she didn’t know she had, closed her eyes. She anticipated something, but she didn’t know what.

Pearl’s breath was so near her lips. 

Something pressed against her mouth, but only barely, for a second. Peridot opened her eyes. 

She wondered what that meant.

Pearl wasn’t finished.

She leaned in again, and so very gently pressed her lips against each of Peridot’s eyelids. She drew away, looking into the other’s eyes. Then she leaned in again, touching Peridot’s gem with the tips of her fingers, placing her lips there a moment as well.

Peridot watched her lips, wanting to close her eyes.

Maybe that would make it happen all over again.

But Pearl’s eyes returned to somewhere Peridot knew she would never get at. She didn’t want this, whatever it was, to end. Not yet.

Peridot turned to completely face Pearl, legs straddling the delicate gem.

Pearl was visibly surprised, and tried to say something. Peridot spoke over her, her tone serious, almost pleading,

“Why are you doing this?”

“…..” Pearl looked down.

“… I don’t know what we’re doing... but it’s…” Peridot sighed, feeling the exhaustion in her limbs now, “… What are we doing?”

Pearl shook her head.

“I’m sorry.”

Peridot huffed, her tone sharpening a little.

“You keep saying that.”

“I’m saying it because I am.”

“Why?”

Peridot didn’t think she would ever be able to pick up on the nuances in another’s words. She was at a loss when it came to deciphering body language and tone. Peridot didn’t understand the world in someone else’s eyes.

But she saw it. For the first time. Deception. 

Pearl was lying without having to say anything.

_… It turns out we’re both liars… So maybe it doesn’t matter._

Pearl’s expression contorted. She spoke just above a whisper,

“How did this happen?”

“How? I don’t understand what’s happening at all.”

Shortly after those words, Peridot leaned in and placed her hands on either side of Pearl’s jawline.

Lips touched this time. Pearl’s lips were soft. Peridot lingered over her bottom lip, pressing down, not biting, but nearly doing so. Pearl made a small gasp, and instead of being scared by this unpredicted reaction, Peridot continued, lightly rolling her tongue along Pearl’s lips, until Pearl’s mouth opened slightly. Warm. Slow. Peridot was abysmally lost in this new life. Everything she had understood fell away in Pearl’s warmth and what they were sharing. 

Pearl drew Peridot in even closer, one arm snaked around her small back. Her other arm had wrapped around her as well. One hand grasped the back of her head, and being touched there again caused a shudder. Peridot tightened her grip on Pearl’s head, her hair.

Pearl made some surprised sounds now and then, and from there things would escalate, then die down. It went on this way for several minutes.

There was more. Amazingly.

She only realized this when Pearls fingers grazed her spine, all the way down her back. Against her thigh. 

But that’s when Peridot seemed to break from the overwhelming spell of sensations.

She withdrew her hands from Pearl, pulling her lips from hers, almost falling backwards.

“….” She was trying not to be afraid. She was terrified.

She needed Pearl’s help.

“I shouldn’t have done that.” Pearl said quietly. Eyes wide.

She indeed looked regretful.

“…um,” Peridot hugged herself, squeezing one of her shoulders and looking away from Pearl, “…uh….”

Shock.

But it was ok. Pearl pulled her close again, but without the blinding sensations as before. Her touch was softer. She assumed her original role as protector, and Peridot, though confusedly wanting more of what they were doing moments before, felt relieved. She settled into Pearl, amazed that this was happening. Amazed that she didn’t know she wanted this. 

Was there a word?

Peridot, like most of the lower class, was not afforded the linguistic expression. And in a way, Pearl wasn’t sure what it was called, either.

At some point they had found themselves lying on their sides, Peridot just below Pearl’s chin, arms curled into herself as she studied this one part of Pearl without tire. Pearl lightly held the other against herself.

Peridot was determined to articulate it. 

She had a word, maybe.

One she didn’t completely understand yet, but heard now and then. It seemed to, in part, express what they had become.

“Pearl,” Peridot tapped Pearl’s shoulder.

“Mhm?”

“You’re supposed to be my servant, um” Peridot hesitated, sighed, “You’re a Pearl. But,” Peridot squirmed a little, breathing hard into Pearl’s chest, “it’s hard to see you, um, as… I think you’re still those things. Or maybe not. But… I think, maybe, you’re my friend.”

Pearl took a long time to respond. Peridot thought she heard a repressed, pained laugh. Maybe she imagined it. 

Then Pearl leaned down to kiss Peridot’s gem, run her fingers through her hair.

“Friend? Ok. Friend.”

Was Pearl crying?

“Did I say something wrong?”

Pearl held Peridot tightly.

She never answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry. I had to delete this chapter and re-post it (don't ask).
> 
> Ummm. Things between the two will get better, even though it isn't looking so great right now....


	21. Yellow's Kindergarten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Diamond is preparing for her new appointment on D8990, the newest era of Kindergartens to be under her control. Pink Diamond is with her, and the two carefully exchange what the other knows about White. Things seem to be heading into the direction of conflict much sooner than Yellow has anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been 1,000,000 moons since I've updated. JSYK: I hate this chapter but I'm gonna stop fussing with it and just post this so I can move on.

The planet was just outside the capitol’s star system. D8990. This particular location had been lifeless even before the Diamonds. Small bases were erected during the war years, rarely used and so eventually abandoned shortly before the Authority first announced its existence. The structure was now Yellow Diamond’s command center over the new kindergarten. Never did any gem imagine the kindergartens on such massive a scale, but here it was. The Empire’s focus on expansion had cleared many star systems of life, making more real the dream of a homogenized population, one that would replace the hundreds of thousands of flawed beings that threatened the singular ideal of efficiency and obedience. It wasn’t a militarized vision, though it read that way.

This new generation of gems were the work of centuries of painstaking selection and cultivation. Some quartzes and other soldier gems currently in service had come from prototypes of the D8990 generation. Failures were destroyed. Gems hardly emerged from the soil unaltered as they did before. The Authority controlled natural sites, and made it impossible for such incubations to succeed.

Gods.

What did the current Empire understand of a _god_?

Yellow Diamond had a panoramic view of the kindergarten. The second sun was setting, the third not far behind. It washed the travertine and steel valley walls in red, orange. D8990 was a dry, hot planet. Desolate. All but for the existence of Yellow Diamond and her crew, and the 10,000 gems forming within that one twenty mile radius of valley.

Yellow had been unofficially, temporarily, banished.

“It’s not at all what I asked for, but they’ve managed to make it softer on the eyes than the initial drafts. Did you see those? Hideous.” Pink Diamond stood beside Yellow on the descending platform. Their escorts—and their pearls—stood just behind them. Yet-to-be-in-service machinery jutted from the canyon walls. Peridots and other technician gems were finishing up exterior details, but it would only be a few weeks before Yellow and her team would be able to completely settle in and start managing the project.

“I’m only interested in function.” 

“I’ll take that as a thanks.”

Yellow lent her a balmy smile.

She did in fact admire what was before her. And it wasn’t so bad to have Pink Diamond at her side.

“So when is your official date of banishment?” Pink flicked her mass of hair. The pearl holding up her glimmering train sneezed.

“About a month. She’ll make the appointment official at our next conference.”

“Well, considering what you’ve got here, joke’s on her.”

It was understood Pink was now talking about White Diamond.

Yellow smiled, “I’m not thrilled so much as resigned.”

They reached the valley floor, stepping off the platform. Pink tugged at her train, and her pearl folded up into the heavy, metallic material. Yellow’s pearl watched with sardonic amusement as the blush-colored servant tried untangling herself from her master’s elaborate gown. Rose Quartz bit her lower lip.

Yellow and Pink paid them no mind.

“Resigned though you may be, there’s no denying that you’ve got a marvel in your hands,” a few soldiers passed, and both Pink and Yellow returned a salute, “They’re all for you, yes?”

“For the kindergarten. But my choosing, yes. Took some time.”

“Lovely for you.”

“For a moment I thought I heard _lonely_.”

“You are incapable of such a state of mind.”

Yellow was aware of the rather idiotic scene taking place behind them, but she had her attention on Rose, whose concern over the frazzled pearl was becoming increasingly … _something_. It wasn’t exactly the care she’d seen that day at the arena when Rose defeated Blue Diamond’s guard, Irnemite, but the quartz gem was channeling something similar, and Yellow, at this point, wasn’t sure how to feel about it. She’d always liked Rose. It was too bad Pink had gotten to her first.

She tried not to sound distracted.

“Don’t go batting your eyelashes, now, there isn’t anything lovely or lonely that—”

“Where is Carnelian?” Pink eyed Yellow’s guard and the scowling pearl.

She finally noticed.

“…..” Yellow tried not to grit her teeth, “I thought we might exchange theories.”

“What?”

“She’s disappeared.”

Pink nearly stopped. Her guards, out of earshot, stopped as well.

Bloodless, what drained from Pink was light.

“She’s been taken?”

“Hm. White is getting preemptive for her preemptive this time. I don’t know whether to be pissed, or impressed. Though I’m certainly pissed about not knowing what’s become of Carnelian.”

Pink frowned, looking around, then back at her guards.

She drew closer to Yellow Diamond, whispering, “Is this really an appropriate place for such talk?”

Yellow continued in the same tone and volume as before.

“There isn’t a gem here who has the desire or ability to successfully repeat what is heard in this valley. I’ll own up to your previous statement: these gems are indeed _mine_.”

Pink, still anxious, glanced around the enormous valley. There were quartzes and technicians everywhere, all busy with their work, and quite far away.

“ _Pink_.”

“Yes, yes,” Pink Diamond hissed, “it’s just… a soldier I hadn’t yet claimed. She’s missing. I was losing my wits and not thinking about White at all—but then I start hearing things,” Pink looked back at her guards, at Rose Quartz in particular. Her eyes narrowed with a sudden aggression, “hearing things about servants vanishing, a _damn pearl_ , for diamond’s sake, disappeared. And the only way I’m able to put any of it together is because of that insufferable gossip Dark Emerald. How do you stand her, anyway?”

“I don’t. This is all a little beyond what I was considering.”

“It’s bad, then?”

“Do you really need me to say so?”

They continued walking.

Pink turned to Yellow, “I haven’t completely confirmed it. But it’s happened to Blue as well.”

“I really thought White would keep her focus on me. Exactly what have you and Blue done to upset her these days?” 

“Exist.”

“Hm.” 

“Are you not disturbed?” Pink almost reached for the other’s hand. She pulled away after realizing what she’d done, worried look still there.

Yellow looked down at Pink’s fingers, then her face.

“Carnelian was an invaluable member of my guards. Her strength and loyalty are not something I can replace. For her sake, I hope White has chosen to shatter her, but we both know that likely is not the case.” Yellow was on to White’s plan to weaken the other diamonds, but she had undercalculated, and was suffering the consequences, unable to retaliate just yet.

Pink looked down at their feet, “Is this her vision of the future?”

“I’m not sure she has a vision. She has plans. She has cunning. But White never sees an end. That helped her win the war, didn’t it?” 

Pink frowned. No one spoke of those last days. 

Yellow went further, “She still has them, doesn’t she? Those gem shards. And not just the shards, but what she made from those shards. What she still, to this day, refers to as weapons,” Yellow lowered her voice, “those forced fusions.”

“I don’t want to talk about that.” Pink drew away.

Yellow smiled.

“They tore at her own army, once they finished off mine. Remember?” 

“That time is over. There is no need. She wouldn’t—that just isn’t—they’re all dead. She destroyed them.”

Yellow knew that Pink knew better.

Silence passed between them in the tangerine valley. A desert gust ripped through. Pink’s hair turned red in the final sunset. She looked away, 

“Besides White, we’ve got a rebel infestation.”

“One gaining momentum, from what I understand.”

“Yes.”

There was little to say between them, nothing they both already didn’t know. White Diamond was plotting, and at this point, regardless why, each diamond needed to accept a new level of vigilance: they needed plotting of their own. Yellow didn’t quite see things turning out this way, not so quickly. She would have been pleased if she were more prepared.

This was just about all the confirmation she needed from Pink.

“At least I’ve got my pearl.” Yellow motioned at perhaps the perfect moment, as Yellow Pearl was muttering curses down at the dirt, shaking off her leg. Rose Quartz, who had just successfully assisted Pink Pearl from her master’s disastrous train, was trying not to laugh. 

Yellow’s guard, Hornblende, kicked up a dirt clod to try and get the prim pearl to quit fumbling.

Naturally, she was knocked in the behind.

The curses were no longer under her breath.

“ _Ugh_ , really, Yellow. Be serious.”

“What exactly do you have against the little kiss-ass?”

Pink made an annoyed sound.

“Where did you find such a stuffy little thing, anyway?”

_Was stuffy really the right word?_

“Find her? Pink, I custom make each and every pearl I’ve ever owned. This one is by far my favorite. And look, your quartz finds her just as charming.”

The two diamonds turned their attention to Rose Quartz, who was now openly laughing. 

“ _Pearl_.”

Yellow Pearl stopped short of her cursing down at the ground, slight panic in her eyes, 

“Y-Yes my diamond?"

“Notify the pilot I’ll be leaving with Pink.”

“Right away, my diamond.” The pearl’s terror turned into shameless elation and she bowed several times before she set off.

“Oh, and pearl,” Yellow Diamond stopped her short, “We’ll be spending a lot of time here in the near future. You might want to accustom yourself to the terrain.”

The pearl blushed, bowed again, and then sped off toward the station tower.

Yellow Diamond wanted to laugh. Pink shook her head.

“Rose, _please._ ” Pink motioned for her quartz to continue on with them, “and pearl, just let go of the damn dress, for diamond’s sake.”

Pink Pearl dropped the fabric, looking grateful. Rose stood at attention, but couldn’t help just one more giggle.

“I really do like that quartz.” Yellow gave Rose a wink.

Pink Diamond groaned.

“But of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Phantom quartz has a talk with Yellow about her children... I mean, Peridot and Pearl ; )


	22. Quartz Within a Quartz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phantom and Yellow have a friendly battle before a meeting of comrades. As Yellow gets ready to address her soldiers in secret, her and Phantom discuss the revelation of Pearl's ability to fight, as witnessed by Phantom in the underground city. But Phantom has witnessed something she isn't prepared to tell her diamond, or really prepared to understand, something that has nothing to do with Pearl's ability to fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like the idea of Phantom Quartz and Yellow Diamond enjoying some quality time beating each other up so here ya go.

“Peridot never mentioned a pearl, no.” 

“Not since the last time you’ve spoken?”

“…that last time was months ago. And no. _No_.”

Normal anticipation had taken an ugly turn. Now that Phantom Quartz was actually in the presence of her diamond, she questioned her own sobriety. _This must be what an overdose of amber feels like._ She braced for the continuation of the exchange, not really taking in the view of the crater below them. At the bottom, maybe 150 meters below, the remnants of Yellow Diamond’s army was meeting for the first time since the executions.

It wasn’t as if either were afforded the luxury of one thing at a time.

“I honestly thought you knew.” Phantom turned to Yellow, who was drawing her sword. She eyed her diamond run a finger thoughtfully along its surface.

“ _My_ Peridot, with a _pearl._ And _what_ a pearl she seems.”

The distance in Yellow Diamond’s musings did not help Phantom’s will to continue.

“Er, yes.”

“So you went first for the pearl after the building collapsed?” Yellow pointed the sword suddenly at Phantom.

Phantom shrugged.

“Your technician was fine, other than her fit over losing the servant.”

“So Peridot was alright.” Yellow Diamond leaned in swiftly for a blow.

Her Diamond wanted a fight.

“She didn’t need my help,” Phantom Quartz dodged Yellow Diamond’s sword. 

“Hm.” Yellow yanked her sword from where it was wedged in the stony ground. She lifted and drew down on Phantom’s forearm.

The sword slipped right through.

“I kept thinking, _a pearl’s a pearl_. You’d think I’d know better.” Phantom caught hold of Yellow’s free arm and dragged her against the gravel. The quartz had solidified a second too long. 

From the dirt Yellow caught Phantom’s materialized arm and twisted it almost entirely around.

Phantom snarled. She immediately swiped at the offender, but was met with a heavy boot against her chest, pinning her into the ground.

The edge of Yellow’s sword was inches from her neck,

“…nor a quartz a quartz. Or a quartz within a quartz.” 

Phantom growled.

Yellow removed the pressure of her boot. Pulled away.

Phantom narrowed her eyes, helping herself stand up with her uninjured limb. She examined the mangled one, and then snapped it back into place.

Yellow planted her sword into the dirt and leaned on it with both hands, “So you are telling me that I not only have an exceptional peridot, but an exceptional pearl as well?”

_But of course you’ve staked ownership of both._

“Errant in all your favorite ways. I hope you understand exactly what it was I saw.”

“A pearl that fights. But I’m not sure that’s the interesting part.”

Phantom frowned, but not before de-materializing and dropping into the ground. She reappeared above Yellow on a boulder overlooking the crater.

It was difficult keeping details from her master. Vital details.

Details that had tormented her since that evening after she had followed the technician and the servant back to the capsule.

“All I can tell you is that the pearl isn’t a rebel, in case your thoughts were wandering that way.”

“They weren’t. That isn’t the kind of thing Peridot would get caught up in.”

Phantom couldn’t help a scoff.

Yellow brushed it off.

“I think you know what I mean. She’s… sensible. Incredibly sensible. Give her the right words…and she’ll fill in the space you didn’t mean her to find,” Yellow walked out from under the shadow of Phantom’s perch and glanced up at her, “I just wonder why she’d get caught up with someone who would bring obvious attention to her.”

Phantom looked away, down, “the pearl’s assistance is invaluable to a cause like hers.”

Yellow Diamond smiled, “She’s solitary, and regardless my inspiring words about gem commonality and anything else pretty that falls from our conversations, I don’t see her risking herself, even for something like the pearl you’ve described. She’d be intelligent enough to understand that predicament is out of her scope, and she’d leave it in someone else’s hands…”

Phantom followed Yellow Diamond walk over to the edge of the crater. Her anxiety levels were now in waves, and she choked enough on image of the technician and servant to keep unable to interrupt her master’s thoughts.

“It’s odd that a pearl just falls into her hands to begin with. Where do you think they met,” Yellow Diamond gave an amused snort, “certainly not in the hang—”

Phantom watched something brighten her diamond’s eyes, then dim them. Something was wrong.

“Yellow," Phantom wasn’t sure how to continue.

“You know,” Yellow casually lifted her sword and admired it, taking a few swings, “it’s funny, isn’t it? The way things… happen.”

Phantom disintegrated into a shadow.

“There’s hardly anything funny about that.” She was doing well in maintaining herself, she thought. 

Yellow Diamond turned to her. She was trying to lock gaze. But not to get anything out of Phantom. No. She was merely impressing she’d come to a conclusion she wasn’t about to give away.

Phantom didn’t flinch.

“What, Yellow. What do you want me to do?”

“Do? Nothing.”

“Really? That’s all? I’ve just told you a rather incredible story about a combat pearl, one belonging to your now combat peridot—”

“Peridot isn’t a fighter. She’s an engineer.”

“Does nothing phase you anymore?” Phantom disappeared from the boulder and reappeared beside Yellow.

“What is with,” Yellow Diamond placed a hand under her chin, waving her other hand as she looked intently at her comrade, “all of this? You can’t seem to keep still today.”

Phantom looked away. 

“So I’m supposed to carry on as before, is what you’re saying.”

Yellow Diamond continued to study Phantom, sensing something unfamiliar, but not able to identify what.

“Yes,” she placed her sword back at her side, “I only ask that you report in full from now on.”

“I do as I’m told.”

“Often enough. Let’s gather everyone, shall we? We have some plans to impart before I’m sent away to my new home.”

“Of course, my diamond.” Phantom turned to smoke as she passed Yellow and bowed. She tried keeping casual pace, but she couldn’t get out of her head what she hadn’t disclosed to Yellow Diamond about the peridot and pearl.

She frowned. 

It was difficult to make sense of what she had seen at the peridot’s apartment. 

It brought back memories of Yellow Diamond and Anthracite.

Or at least, that same sick feeling she had during that time. 

That day, following the peridot and pearl back to the capsule, she had been a shadow, and she lingered within the capsule window as they ambled around in a daze. The collapsed pearl. The brief exchange about whether or not the technician should be at her shift. They spoke so level. Always. The outside world was property, and not of the gems, but the diamonds. Not a single molecule of atmosphere was designated to any other being. The capsule was in the palm of the Authority, as well as every item in it, including both the peridot and pearl. But the two had managed to surface, even if just barely, to an expanse of space that belonged to no one. The more time Phantom spent with them, the more it seemed they would not be pulled back to the prison from which they emerged. It was even perhaps that they were falling into some other world, without any awareness of this descent.

Phantom didn’t want to stay. It was an eerie thing to observe. But inside, a vague compulsion drew her in, and watching over them became important beyond Yellow Diamond’s orders. 

Phantom was doing something, for the first time, that wasn’t for Yellow Diamond at all.

The most she had seen was their kiss. She exited the scene before she could see any more, in somewhat of a panic. She returned to her patrol, feeling the pulse of the beast deep inside her, demanding escape. Loneliness and love, or the parts of one suppressed in the dark. It was all the same there, moving at different speeds. Phantom Quartz wished for an at least forgetful vocabulary.

With that, she had no luck.

Phantom looked before her at her comrades from all that time ago. They were almost unreal, together again this way. Yellow Diamond’s words lifted higher and higher, almost out of Phantom’s range. Were these gems carried there with her leader? Phantom wanted to be the one, the only, the reason for Yellow’s success in this plan. But what did that mean in this civilian culture where they would, supposedly, someday end? Her master was holding too many rights and truths, but they were unfinished.

Phantom would do as Yellow asked. But she’d begun her lie, and nothing would be the same ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really love Phantom Quartz... she's having to question her orders now, or, begin doing so, against the one gem that matters to her most. That's going to be pretty difficult. She'll be more involved with Peridot and Pearl in the coming chapters (we'll also be seeing more of Rose and the other Pearls!) 
> 
> Next chapter is... Peridot and Pearl stuff..... oooooohhhhhhh


	23. A Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been a few weeks since Pearl and Peridot narrowly escaped an end in the underground city. But the events immediately following after in Peridot's apartment haven't panned out exactly as either imagined. Peridot can't quite figure out what Pearl is hiding, and is a little too quick to forget she has secrets of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're a mess, as usual.

**Chapter 22**

Peridot had been staring at those hands all afternoon, through the evening, and then into the twilight when they returned to the apartment. Those refined fingers, moving with pure intention, for utility or grace. An extension of the nebulae in Pearl’s mind, those blooming galaxies and dying stars, precise orbits. All faster than her hands could interpret. Yet Pearl was patient in her existence. She was sometimes even resigned to it.

Peridot did not see service hands. She did not see hands that could only carry orders, hands restricted by law. Peridot saw Pearl’s light in those hands, her self-awareness, her care. Pearl was more gem than any gem Peridot had known. Or something more. Something new. Pearl would deny these observations. She would, in a sense, invalidate the technician, thinking, as Pearl did, that she was saving Peridot some kind of trouble.

_The trouble of caring for you._

Peridot reflected on her place in this now complicated world. Yellow Diamond would find out about Pearl. What would she do to her? To Peridot? But wasn’t that the point of this new world her diamond had envisioned, one that did not consider a gem’s origins, only their capabilities? 

It had been over a year since Pearl became hers. _Hers_ … Peridot didn’t know what to do with the laws of possession. They made less and less sense. The suit. Yellow Diamond. Dreams of field work and leaving the capitol. She still wanted those things. But what she desired most…

…was Pearl.

Peridot was at her counter, an enormous computer screen glaring back at her. She had miles of code to unify, miles more data to enter and add to the chaos. The ideas spilled out from her mind all over. She usually had no issue matching the speed of her own thoughts, but today, she could comprehend none of it. 

Pearl was sitting at the far end of the counter, back against the wall. Her long hair obscured her features, and all Peridot could glimpse was some device she had been working on that whole week. She’d been so meticulous with it. Silent.

Beautiful hands.

Since that exhausted day on the floor of the capsule, things had changed, and not in the way Peridot had anticipated. Pearl spoke hardly at all, only responding and starting conversation when necessary to work. She dared not touch Peridot. Even a simple brush of fingers sent Pearl into obvious recoil, as if she’d been hurt.

Peridot was hurt.

The denial of the present left her haunted by the same memory of sensations and sounds. She turned back to her computer screen, but she was elsewhere. They didn’t move from that corner of the apartment that day, and into that night. Peridot had spent hours beneath Pearl’s plush cape, huddled close against her. She studied Pearl’s collar, the curve of her shoulder, the unfamiliar breathing that lulled her into its calming rhythm. Pearl was speaking softly, running her fingers through Peridot’s hair. The words were more like some kind of murmur, song. 

But nothing stayed.

_What did I do wrong. Are we not “friends”?_

Yellow Diamond hadn’t contacted her in a long time. Peridot wanted more than anything at that time a clear sense of purpose. But it was denied from every angle.

“Look.” 

Peridot turned her eyes to Pearl, then down at the counter. Between them was the item Pearl had been assembling for weeks.

Peridot reached for it. She examined the object, which fit rather nicely in her grasp. It had been made for her, for her own small, inelegant hands.

“What is it?”

“Image capture.”

“A hologram box?” Peridot was unimpressed, slightly perplexed.

Pearl slipped from the counter to Peridot. She reached down, and to Peridot’s surprise, placed her fingers over hers, lifting away the object. Pearl held it out in front of them.

“Much more than that, dear one,” Pearl pressed a circular key, and the device lit with a blurry projected image, “it captures images, or sound, or both together, and you can retrieve the capture you want by simply going through your own memory.”

With another small press the projected image cleared, and before them a small scale recording of the past few minutes replayed.

Peridot took it from Pearl’s offering hands, eyes wide, “….it’s like your gem.” 

“Oh, well, somewhat. Just a technological extension of that concept, one _you_ can now utilize.”

Nothing like this, that Peridot knew of, and she knew a lot, existed. Images could be captured, and could even depict movement and some sound, but not on this level, and not with this particular bio-technical component. A gem’s ability was limited to each gem, and it was never thought to pass along such particular traits among themselves through technology. It was , essentially, sharing. Not a particularly encouraged concept. Because, what for? But also, _why not?_ If it could be made, there was a use for it. And if anyone could figure that out, it was Peridot.

Pearl had made this.

For Peridot.

She melted inside. She could feel the blush creeping up on her, and she tried to listen as Pearl’s mouth moved.

“…I thought it’d be of use when you’re constructing, or when you need to retrieve plans and ideas. The speed of that has become even more important now, especially with these unpredictable windows of opportunity we’re so rarely afforded.”

Peridot had pressed the recorder, and was fiddling with the replay function. A thought occurred.

“What if someone gets ahold of this? The contents would be…most incriminating.”

“Only you can use it…and, well,” Pearl looked away, blushing somewhat, “and me. It’s matched to our cells. I only made the addition of mine in case, you know, anything ever happens. Sorry.”

If Pearl was expecting Peridot to be unnerved by this shared compatibility with the device, the concern was misplaced. Peridot was too impressed. And deeply touched by the whole thing. 

“Umm,” she couldn’t stop turning it over, smiling slightly, even, “thank you.” She looked away. Then down.

Pearl stood there a long moment, then gave what seemed like an unsure smile. She turned immediately away, suddenly busying herself with an overhanging storage space. “You’re very welcome.”

Peridot, device still in her grasp, looked up. Her lips formed a soundless sentence as she couldn’t decide on the words, but then she found something, “Where did you come from?”

She’d gotten Pearl to look up.

“Excuse me?”

Peridot hesitated. Though poorly wrought, this was the most confident she’d felt all week.

“What… where did you, er, emerge?”

Pearl’s response began with a tilt of her head. “Pearls are cultivated in aquatic kindergartens on a handful of moons within this very star system.”

Peridot wanted. She would get.

“But _you_.”

“Me…”

The technician’s expression contorted. “What’s the problem?”

“I…well… it isn’t really important.”

The servant gem was fidgeting with her hands.

“I don’t understand why this question is giving you so much trouble.” Peridot didn’t mean to sound impatient. She set the recorder down in her lap. Pearl seemed to have expected Peridot to drop the inquiry. An unrealistic expectation.

“No- I, well… I never… I never saw it.”

“Never saw it?”

“And I never will.”

“Why?”

“It’s gone.”

They allowed quiet to settle.

“…the war?” Peridot offered her theory.

Pearl nodded.

After a long while Peridot couldn’t consolidate the facts offered.

“Why would anyone want to destroy a moon colony of pearls?”

“Why anything in war?” The words tumbled out from Pearl too quickly.

Her eyes.

The way they creased.

The lilt of panic.

Peridot could tell when Pearl was lying. Not a skill she was much thrilled about at this point.

Yes... what indeed was the big deal?

“Look, it’s just that, you’re so… _different_. I want to know why.”

“Where I’m from shouldn’t matter. I’m a problem. That’s what matters to everyone else. Really, the only good being “different” has done me so far is…bring me to you.” Pearl made a point of focusing on her with a quieted tone, “what about you? Does it matter where you’re from?”

Peridot narrowed her eyes in a poor conveyance of disgust.

She was trying not to focus on the various implications in Pearl’s words.

“Ok, but why does it feel like you have something to hide?”

Pearl stepped back a little. “W-what about you? What were you going to tell me before the building collapsed?”

Well, _damn_. 

She’d changed her mind about the whole Yellow Diamond confession. She’d decided to hold on to it longer, especially since Pearl had cloistered up the past few weeks.

“…why are we making the suit, Peridot?”

Peridot screwed up her face. She attached the recorder to her wrist so that she wouldn’t drop it in this now increasingly difficult conversation.

_I should really shut up more._

“We’re in a war.” Was all she could say.

Pearl’s features obscured in her hair when she turned away. “I don’t like it. I’m…I’m afraid.”

“Why? You know war. You survived war.”

“I do know war, and that’s why it frightens me. I don’t know what you think you understand… but… it’s so ugly. You saw me fight those acid monsters, but I barely know anything. I barely scraped by. _You_ would barely scrape by.”

“That’s why I’m making the suit! If a mere pearl can do the things you can do…then a peridot… then any gem willing…”

“That’s rebel talk!”

“It’s not rebel talk. It makes sense! Why hold back the abilities of those gems willing to try? If our population continues to over-stratify, the talents of countless gems will be overlooked!”

“So you would question the Authority?”

Peridot sucked her teeth, “I AM questioning the authority. But not because I’m against them. These rebels don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t know how to voice their concerns in a logical manner that benefits all gems in involved. The diamonds aren’t all completely unreachable.”

Pearl cringed, “You’re talking like you know them personally.”

“Pfft. Please Pearl. A flattering accusation.” He voice squeaked. She couldn’t help it.

Pearl raised an eyebrow, but continued, “Since the Authority formed they’ve had nothing but our concern in mind, in every action they take. They ended all previous wars. If only you knew what the universe was like in those times. It was…. It was so ugly. These new ideas, divisions, upsets…it’s unbalanced. The Authority takes action and we obey, and that’s how we stay safe. They want to protect us, Peridot.”

Suddenly, Peridot knew exactly how she wanted to respond. It was inflamed with thoughts of Onyx, things Yellow Diamond had told her, and most of all, Pearl being dropped off at the hangar like trash.

“Protect us? The Empire’s real concern seems to be with expansion, an endeavor hindered by their stubbornness to effectively utilize and take care of all their citizens! I- I can’t even do my work without the threat of being taken away to a prison camp! Instead of _using_ me, they’d just throw me away! It MAKES NO SENSE. Like you. All these years! And you’re just in hiding! They’d kill you for something as ridiculous as being possibly more useful beyond carrying stuff around and looking fancy!”

Pearl sighed, “I don’t know what you’re involved in,” her voice lowered above a whisper, “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m not- I’m not going to get hurt…” She hid her blush by lookinhg squarely down at her feet.

Pearl walked over.

She felt a hand barely brush against her face.

“…”

Peridot recoiled. She surprised Pearl by swatting her away.

“Oh- I’m sorry-”

“ _Aaughhh_.”

_Oh stars._

She proceeded to shift around the apartment, and groaning at the mess of her projects before heading to the door. “I’m leaving.”

“…”

“What are you staring at?”

“D-do you want an umbrella?”

“Do I want an umbrella.”

“Here.” Pearl gently handed one over.

Peridot groaned again, “Don’t look at me like that. I’m coming back. If I were abandoning you it wouldn’t be in my own apartment!”

And then she opened the door, slammed it behind her.

Peridot was annoyed at a lingering thought.

She burst back in, only to yell at the sole occupant inside “And don’t mope by the door. EVERYTHING’S FINE.”

And then she was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: first time character interactions! Just who will Peridot meet in the dark alley???? Find out... soon!


	24. More than a Servant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peridot needed to get some air after getting frustrated with Pearl. She wasn't quite expecting them to have such differing views on politics. But more of a concern is the gem she meets while on her unsuspecting walk.

**Chapter 23**

Rain. Constant rain.

It was late in the evening. The darkest hours. The clean whirs and friction of busses and railways hummed through the rain. Voices rose from the open windows of factories, blurred in the maze of streets. The night laborers wanted daylight. The day laborers didn’t seem to care ether way.

Peridot had purposely chosen the dark. That freedom in the shadows.

She was not so mysterious.

She spent most of her life uninterested in what was beyond her apartment, her own thoughts. 

Things change. For once, she wanted stars. The sky was black, splotched with burgundy and gray. Bruised.

Peridot involuntarily touched her old injury. It had never completely healed. She then clutched her chest, her uniform collar.

Something there hurt badly. More than having her arm dislocated and its shoddy recovery.

_Friend?_

She’d miscalculated. Pearl was not going to be won over. But maybe Peridot had done a poor job of conveying her stance. But also, what if Pearl… and Yellow Diamond? Wouldn’t Yellow Diamond see in Pearl what Peridot found so obvious?

Probably.

But would Yellow Diamond then take Pearl away?

And then the servant gem would belong to some else all over again.

Things couldn’t sustain with the rebels making messes all over the capitol, and, as it was rumored, at other places across the galaxy. The end may be soon. War? Was it really war? Was that going to give her diamond control? Peridot was holding on to that promise. But, she realized, only if it involved Pearl. She had to solve this.

She would solve the issue of Pearl.

She grasped on to a conversation she’d once had with Pearl

_You had a friend once, what happened?_

_Time._

Time? Pearl never said this “friend” was dead. But who, honestly, could forget Pearl?

A friend was just too complicated a concept.

Peridot had wandered down one of the alleys, hoping she would come across something she could use. Something to occupy her mind. But she also needed to be as alone as possible. She was forgetting how it felt without the chase of emptiness.

Metal creaked. Peridot looked up to a small patch of clear night. The glint of faraway stars and galaxies distracted her a moment. How vast space must be.

That creaking.

Again.

Rain still poured down in steady, solid drops. Drops hitting against her umbrella obscured a keener sense of hearing.

“…”

The stars suddenly vanished into complete black. Her vision, gone.

That black was something.

Something enormous that had dropped without a sound from the side of a wall to the alley. A huge, heavy shadow. But also weightless. But also heavy.

Peridot screeched, her umbrella tossed into the air. The screech was stifled by an ambiguous limb, a darkness over her mouth.

Suddenly, she could see again, and before her loomed two sets of glimmering eyes: a top row of gold, and a bottom row of deep red. Peridot squirmed, but then went limp.

So. This was it. She was going to die.

“Hrrrrm.” A deep, disgruntled utterance came from the creature.

Peridot watched with fascination a grotesque transformation of shadow into solid being.

“I’ll uncover your mouth, pebble, but if you make any other uncouth sounds I’ll have to knock you out.”

Peridot nodded quickly.

The hand over her mouth disappeared, the entire limb fading, and as it did a new one reappeared. She was gripped in one enormous grasp. She could be pinched easily into dust.

The creature tilted her head.

“You’re even more pebble than you look from a distance,” the being lifted Peridot off the ground, turning her over, from side to side, “it’s amazing gems like you exist. I remember the appeal, now. You’re upset, aren’t you?”

Peridot though her eyes might pop through her visor.

“Ugh, I’m not keen on hurting you. Those aren’t even my orders.”

Peridot breathed in panicked breaths.

“Here,” the creature, which was now beginning to look more gem, sighed. She lifted Peridot up onto a metal platform attached to the side of one of the buildings. Peridot was now just level with her. Many feet off the ground.

Peridot fell backward as she stepped way, and watched with both terror and curiosity as the being shifted around to find Peridot’s umbrella, and then hand it to her.

Peridot took it, feeling sick. She was shaking.

“I’m Phantom Quartz. I already know who you are. I’ve been tagging along after you for months. It’s boring work, you know, but the occasional mishap makes all those dull hours worthwhile.”

“Y-you-you f-follow m-me?”

“Why doesn’t anyone ever believe me when I say, rather pointedly, that I’m NOT going to hurt them?” Phantom rolled both sets of eyes, “Anyway, I didn’t want to have interfered, but that incident with your pearl changed things. I might have run into one of you again. I certainly disturbed your pearl.”

Peridot realized.

“You, from the underground city- you saved Pearl.” Some of the technician’s anxiety was hushed, but not entirely.

“If I hadn’t seen her nearly fight them off on her own, you’d be without a servant. Where did you even find her?” Phantom had drawn up on the platform with Peridot, and sat near her, crouching.

Well this was certainly odd.

Not accustomed to interacting beyond orders, or with Pearl (interaction with Yellow Diamond was something else entirely) Peridot was surprised to find herself not nearly as unsettled with this gem as she probably ought to be. 

“She was trash.” Peridot blurted.

“Trash?”

“Some court member used the hangar as a dumping ground and dropped her off.”

“That court member sounds like a moron.”

Yes, Peridot, still afraid for her life, was however warming up to this gem. 

Peridot narrowed her eyes, “why are you following me?”

“I ask myself the same thing. Every time I get sent out here. Though today I’ve sent myself.”

Peridot raised an eyebrow. She closed her umbrella and decided it was safe to approach the gem, whose looming form was actually blocking out the rain.

The small gem’s skeptical stare made Phantom laugh.

“Oh, I can see more and more why she chose you.”

Peridot blushed. For a moment she thought only of Pearl, but then she realized who this gem meant.

Yellow Diamond had sent someone to protect her. To watch her.

“..ooh.” Peridot said quietly. She looked around the alley, then back up at the massive gem, “you wouldn’t happen to have, you know, maybe…”

“I have no idea where she is or when she’s coming to visit you. She only gives me the barest of info to get my work done. Especially now, with all this rebel mess and confusion.” 

Phantom’s casual response further confused Peridot. What was this gem? Was she even a gem? It- She- saved Pearl… and someone willing to help Pearl…

“So you only saved her because you saw what she could do?” Peridot frowned.

“Yellow said nothing about a pearl. Only to protect _you_. But as you can imagine I was too impressed to let her die in the old ruins. And from a couple of acid gators! Hmph.” 

“Does Yellow—”

“Of Course.”

“Did she—”

“She’s about to adopt the both of you.” Phantom scoffed. “You didn’t teach that Pearl, did you? It would be difficult to believe if this were the case.”

Peridot shrugged, “She surprised me. I was expecting a useless gem. Pearls are used for such stupid things. But Pearl is different.”

“Like you.”

Peridot blushed.

“Oh, _don’t_ , I certainly don’t say that with any ounce of endearment.”

“I wasn’t thinking that!” Peridot squeaked, slightly annoyed.

Phantom laughed.

“You’re quite the investment. A very obnoxious one.”

“How comforting.”

“Isn’t it?”

There was a brief silence.

“Ok, so what are you doing here?” Peridot was now visibly annoyed.

“Pissy little pebble! I _do_ appreciate that.”

Peridot realized she needed to tone it down a bit. It was just so easy… to not be concerned about danger the longer she spent in this gem’s presence.

“…eh.”

“Now you know I exist.”

“Oh.”

“And there’s something else.”

“And what would that be?”

“The pearl really hangs on you, doesn’t she? A little odd.”

Peridot panicked but didn’t, at first, know why.

“She _is_ my assistant.” Peridot managed to sound composed.

“Of course. You know, there’s one thing I didn’t tell our diamond. Don’t make me regret that decision.”

“What?” Peridot, now, really was lost.

“ _Behave_.”

Peridot tilted her head, frowning. “Can you be more direct?”

Phantom growled, but it was a neutral sound, “bless your pearl for being so patient. I’m saying your pearl is more to you than just that. You must care about her. _A lot_.”

Peridot’s skin was a rash. She couldn’t respond.

Phantom smirked. But then she grew quite serious. “I wasn’t obligated to come here. But I wasn’t set to tell Yellow about any of this.”

“Why?” Peridot could think of countless reasons, but she blurted out the words anyway. All of the images blurred into those of shattered gems.

That kind of closeness between two different types of gem was a crime. At least amongst the lower classes.

This was the sobering moment for the technician.

Pearl wasn’t just any other type of gem… she was a pearl.

Peridot felt sick again.

“Why? _Why_? Beyond the obvious, that’s none of your business.”

“But—”

“There’s a few lifetimes of history you wouldn’t understand about _my_ diamond. You may have heard about Yellow’s history and that disgusting mural hanging in White Diamond’s court. But it goes much deeper than that.”

Phantom startled her by falling through the metal grating to the alley below, disappearing into the ground then reappearing whole.

Peridot, though afraid at Phantom’s sudden outburst, leaned over, fascinated by the gem.

“Don’t be a disappointment. This is, ultimately, for Yellow. But to some degree, you as well.”

“How can I even trust you?” Peridot couldn’t conceal the defeat in her voice. This was all really too much.

“You don’t have much of an option, do you?”

And then she vanished down the alley, along the walls into the dark and the rain.

“Hey… HEY! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET DOWN?” Peridot took a frantic look around. There wasn’t any ladder.

“…..ugh.”

The general sentiment of the night.

Of everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just...really..really... love... Phantom Quartz. I'm sorry. I've been dying for their interaction for a while. They'll get to know each other much more later in the story. Next chapter... if I remember my notes correctly, we'll have a little adventure with Sapphire... and possibly Lazuli!


	25. Dragon Visions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sapphire is summoned to her Diamond for a favor, but she has been plagued by strange visions that are preventing her from being of any use to the court. Or perhaps the vision is more relevant than she understands?

It was possible to feel things so deeply as to be reduced, in present moments, to nothing. Nothingness, was in fact, Sapphire’s way of holding on to her world.

Walking through the halls to her diamond’s private quarters, Sapphire could feel her own fading from the present, to the past, to elsewhere, and then back. She was so aware of her own light, that it felt as if she was losing some sense of it. This intensity was rare. Most of the time, she hardly realized how displaced she was from present time. She hoped to have this uneasiness folded away by the time she reached Blue Diamond.

Sapphire knew about the summons before she was called in.

She had been dreaming for days, in the way that only gems with foresight dream, of the water dragons from an icy realm. In trances, Sapphire could see them, dipping down into blue oceans, then out into a white, vast landscapes. Their eyes, silver, reflective mirrors. It was the same allied pattern, two dragons. It was spoken that once, such beings were a kind of guardian, but to what, such knowledge was lost. A combination of unfounded fear and suppressed memory kept the dragons out of gem affairs. 

Whether symbolic, or a true glimpse into reality, Sapphire did not know what it meant.

“Tell me, my Sapphire, what force is strong in your visions these days?” Blue was hidden in the shadows of her rich cloak. Sapphire caught the glint of her diaphanous hair. Like stars.

“My diamond,” Sapphire bowed, “I have nothing to report of the status of the great Authority. I’ve seen no rebels or their dark hiding places in my third sight. I regret,” Sapphire raised her head, “to be in your presence with nothing to offer.”

The truth was that Sapphire was troubled by the repetition of dragons and nothing else. Incomplete visions were not visions to report to her diamond.

Blue Diamond gave a nod.

“I want to preserve this Empire. With or without an alliance, I am a diamond, a foundation,” Blue Diamond lifted a hand, motioning around the empty chamber, save for a few close guards, “These flames burn out, and a diamond emerges unscathed. I, however, have no desire to come out with nothing but myself. This Authority is not about that.”

Blue Diamond’s hood slipped down to her shoulders, and silver hair spilled all around. It caused a soft radiance that hummed throughout the chamber.

“Your loyalty to me is a loyalty to this Authority, so when I ask of you to do for me, it is really an act for the empire. Do you understand?”

Sapphire nodded gently.

“Rare not for your gem, but your insight and understanding, you are a gift.” Blue Diamond stepped off from her throne, and strode past Sapphire to look up into the great hologram of stars above them, 

“Now, there is that gem so long ago given clemency, in exchange for her service to me.”

Sapphire was momentarily distracted by the rare glimpse upon the visage of her diamond. Indescribably beautiful.

“She keeps herself at arm’s length, no matter what it is the court may think of our relationship. She is like you. _Loyal. Special_. Only, in different ways. Sapphire, I need you to retrieve this asset. Return Lapis Lazuli to me. Can you do that?”

“Yes.” Sapphire was illuminated brightly in her diamond’s aura, and she saw in her eyes the gem in question.

A vision.

Blue Diamond, in that barbaric period thousands of years before the formation of the Authority, had many assets in the galaxies. She secured allies quietly, making pacts with powerful individuals and autonomous gem nations. She steered from strictly militaristic takeovers, even when it may have been easier to conquer first and sort later. Blue Diamond had been, and still was, the moderate.

But that planet of seas could not hold. The gems of that world fought back. A good fight. Blue lost more than she expected. And that is when White came unto the scene, as it was often her style to overtake those already made vulnerable by others.

Blue Diamond had found a desperate ally in one gem, a wild, elite guard close to the planet’s highest leader. A dangerous rogue. And so that gem became Blue Diamond’s spy, infiltrating meetings with the planet’s rulers and White Diamond, who were conspiring against Blue.

But secret meetings and spies, and any other typical measure of Blue Diamond’s devices, were one, drawn-out failure. She turned to the dreaded alternative. If Blue couldn’t hold on to the planet or its resources, no one could.

Blue, to her current day, stood behind the decision to destroy the planet .

Sapphire remembered.

How impossible it was to forget Lapis Lazuli.

Considered now a pardoned war criminal, Lapis was all that had survived of the destroyed planet. She had played spy for years, extending what seemed a very particular kind of self-torture that Sapphire could never quite understand. What was it like, to betray everything, to let so many die, not in the name of greatness, or one’s endeavors of rule, but for self? 

All of that. 

To save oneself.

Lapis fought for Blue during the war years. Opposing forces would confuse the water gem for entire battalions. And realizing that they were not being rushed by hundreds, but one, one seemingly fragile being, she turned into legend. This layer of unreality to her existence helped her vanish into obscurity after the Authority formed.

Always in a kind of limbo, Lapis would appear every so often. She made appearances in Blue’s court, an assumed benign rarity, only vaguely associated with the devastation she caused on battlefields. She was an experience for the elite, an exotic bird.

“There are many places she might be, but something tells me you’ll know where to find her.” Blue Diamond opened her arms to the projections, and out expanded a lonely star system near the end of their galaxy. Blue studied the revolving lights, then turned to Sapphire, “yes?”

“Yes, my diamond.”

Blue Diamond gave a solemn nod.

“For you, two of my closest guards. A ship is prepared. You leave before the light touches my court windows. Yes?”

“Yes, my diamond.” Sapphire bowed again.

She stepped back, the two guards now at either side of her, ready to lead her out.

Sapphire glimpsed at her diamond one last time, standing there, filled with some suppressed worry, but Sapphire could not see. It all became muddled in half-world vision, a dragon’s deep mirror eyes, and in them, or of them, a gem that burned blue, so blue it reached the other side into complete darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love that Sapphire has this ability because honestly I love being able to use this in the story ^^ We'll come back to her and the Lazuli mission in a few chapters.


	26. Unfinished Wing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yellow Diamond is plagued by a mysterious affliction deep within her diamond. The pain may have some connection to a gem from her past.

_“What do you mean a “failed” diamond?”_

_“What do you think it means?”_

_Yellow’s fingers brushed over her gem. She closed her eyes._

_“I think it means the word “failed” doesn’t quite sit well with you.”_

_“How do you mean?”_

_It stung._

_“Why ask me? Like you’ve been waiting to prove me or anyone wrong about something. Look at you, you’re dying to turn this all into some parlor trick.”_

_“…there’s no trick. I’m honestly curious. And please don’t stand….you’re still hurt.”_

_Yellow dug her fingers into her eye socket, grasping her gem, gritting her teeth._

Back again at the palace, Yellow stood in an unfinished wing of her court. It overlooked a vast, empty plot, and in the dark, it resembled a deep pit. She kept in the shadows of the open window frame, which reached the floor. A balcony, in the original plans. It was raining, of course. Yellow stared down at the darkness below, unsure if the voices she heard were in the room, or thousands of years in the past.

_“Well, to be honest,” Yellow sat down again as the other instructed, “I probably understand what you mean about failure. But considering my army is out there…without me….”_

_“In just a few days, but even then…I could only heal so much of the damage. Then you can be with them again.”_

_“Anthracite.”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Why would you help me?”_

But the memory trailed off into blankness before Anthracite could answer. In its place, haphazard images of her glimmering form, her body so close Yellow could make out the individual crystal structures, almost see her cells. There was a feeling Yellow had to chase, but the more effort she afforded, the more vague the feeling became. At the end, there were no feelings. Just facts. 

“My Diamond?”

One of her guards had stepped into the room, and when Yellow quickly turned to her, they caught sight of her gem, burning brightly from her eye.

“What is it?” Her voice was flat, hinged.

“It’s White Diamond. She wants to see you about the festival.”

“She wants to… tell her…. Tell her….” Yellow felt as if her limbs had rusted, and she was stiff with the pain in her gem.

“My Diamond?” The guard instinctively drew her weapon, looking around wildly as if the threat were somewhere in the room.

What could possibly pain a Diamond?

Yellow could see, through one blurry line of vision, the guard panicking in the dark. She looked like just a shadow with that flood of light falling from the hall.

For just a slight moment, the shadow glimmered, illuminated blue, amassing in size.

“Anthracite?” The Diamond painfully managed to say.

“Who?” The guard was now at her side, worried she might have to hold up her Empress.

“…” Yellow could see again that there was no such image.

“I’m going to call for hel—”

Yellow grabbed the guard’s arm, lifting her up from the carpet, “You’ll do no such thing.”

“But my Diamond—”

“I _said_ ,” Yellow tightened her grip, and the guard yelped, “ _y o u will do no such thing_.”

The guard nodded. Yellow wanted to rid of the terror she saw in those eyes.

She let go, gently placing the guard back on the floor.

“Now go tell White I’ll be there before the night is over. And shut that door behind you.”

“Yes my Diamond…I’m sorry.” The guard bowed.

Yellow shook her head, doing everything in her power from reaching around to grasp at her gem. The pain, anyway, was fading.

“Me too…” She muttered, looking back outside.

‘ “me too” what?’ A shadow dropped from the ceiling, into the floor, reappearing opposite her in the windowframe.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Suddenly Yellow Diamond felt more strongly about strangling Phantom than she felt any pain.

“Yellow, I haven’t been in this palace for a few millennia, and this is how you treat me?”

“If ever there was a worse possible time for you—”

“No one’s going to see me in this incredible rain. And anyway, who’s going to find me here? I’m surprised that soldier—”

“How long have you been here?”

“Long enough to see you almost pop that guard into the next dimension.”

Yellow regained some sense of composure. She shrugged, “ _Please_. She’s fine.”

“Are you?” 

Phantom wouldn’t let herself materialize, but Yellow could feel the concern wash over and disturb every fibre of her being.

“Always.” She managed.

“Hmm.” 

Phantom drew closer to Yellow, a darkness rushing to her height.

Yellow always wondered when she would dare try.

But Phantom never did.

Yellow refused to wonder beyond whether she wanted her to.

She didn’t move when she felt the barely atomized fingertips of Phantom over her face. She didn’t flinch when they materialized just enough to press gently against her diamond. 

Yellow listened to the rain.

But there was nothing.

When Yellow opened her eyes, Phantom had returned across from her, just a mass of vaguely scintillating cells and darkness.

“I wouldn’t know what to do.” Phantom muttered to the floor.

Yellow Diamond let the words settle, but didn’t validate them.

“So,” She relaxed in the dark, sighing, “The only reason you’d be here is because you have something of particular significance for me.”

“Always.” Phantom may have imitated her tone from earlier. Yellow ignored it.

“Well?” Yellow cleared her throat, mentally cursing herself for doing so.

“Talk. But more serious talk about an attack. A diamond preemptive made to look like a rebel attack.”

That caught Yellow’s attention.

“What?”

“Of course it’s still stuff circulating in the outer rims, but shoddy or not we can’t ignore that kind of accusation. Mostly because, let’s be honest, would that really be so surprising?”

Yellow rubbed her temple. Nothing was going how she planned.

“There’s the gem abominations to wonder about, too. Reports of them on the streets.”

“I know.”

There was a long silence.

“So…what are we going to do?”

“Take a few steps back, is all. I can still win over a rebellion. Even if it is all a mess.”

“I agree. You excel at messes.” 

“Hmph!”

Phantom rolled her shoulders.

“I need to be on my way.”

“Yes, you do.”

“Keep over the technician?”

“As always, please.”

“Sure.”

And she was gone, having seeped through the floor somewhere, thought the palace walls and from there who knows. To Peridot and the pearl. 

_The Pearl_.

Yellow sighed. She stepped onto the half-constructed balcony, rain pouring all over, causing her hair to drape around her shoulders. She stared down into the lot, and then, silently, dropped down to it.

Dark Emerald’s pearl, the pearl dumped at the hangar. 

Her clever technician had found a clever friend.

It was somewhat perfect.

It never once crossed her mind, however, to assess the situation beyond that. Despite her own visions of Anthracite that evening, Yellow Diamond did not consider her own experiences ever inflicting another. Nor did she think any more of Phantom beyond the comradeship that had brought them so close through all those centuries. She had gotten so used to self-blindness that she did not even realize when it happened. Shutting the screen always to the same window, but returning to it, over and over.

Down in the muddy lot, Yellow dug her fingers into the soil, reaching into a handful of dirt, but also, a handful of gem shards. Millions of pieces of shattered gems below her, lost in a garden that would never grow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This probably raises a lot of questions? But I'll get to them ....later....I'm sorry. Anyway....so how about that ....Yellow Diamond and Phantom Quartz.... or even that Yellow Diamond and Anthracite? *uncivilized heckling from the void* 
> 
> Why am I like this.
> 
> Anyway, next chapter... I'm honestly not sure. But it's probably a nerd chapter. You know. With the two nerds.


	27. Amber

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Capitol is setting aside worries of rebels for the start of an ages old festival, and Peridot and Pearl finally leave the apartment after days of being forced to stay within their district limits. But on the way to the festivities, the two are given a reminder of what it is the Empire stands upon.

An attack close to home left them restricted to a few blocks within their district’s sector. There were no trips to any abandoned, underground cities, nor anywhere beyond the walk to and from work. There was a lot of silence between Peridot and Pearl, but at least Pearl was no longer repulsed by accidental contact. A few times…well, she may have gone in for the other’s hand, but Peridot had been so panicked by the idea that she not so subtly managed to maneuver out of the way, just in time. Pearl, for once, unfortunately, got the hint, and settled for a slightly less panic-inducing hover.

And she just wouldn’t shut up about asking Peridot to be careful, or to reconsider this or that improvement in the lab, to maybe try programming the circuits…blah blah blah. After a while, Peridot tuned these criticisms out completely.

She was focused on something more than work, anyway. It had nothing to do with the hangar. Nothing to do with the suit.

_Now that I want you to talk to me…this is what I get._

She could only go so far with the self-woe. It never occurred to her to make the first move. At least not in a casual manner.

So she thought of grander gestures. 

“Where are we going, again?” Pearl was following, with no effort, Peridot’s scurrying through the slippery streets in the dark.

The ban had been lifted a few days before, and gems were free to move about the districts in light of Festival.

The Festival only occurred every seven years. 

Peridot huffed, and almost slipped before Pearl caught her arm, holding her up.

“Pearl, can you just…”

“Sure.”

Pearl reached down and held Peridot up in front of her.

“That’s not what I meant.” 

“Oh.”

“I mean,” Peridot looked back at her, and sighed, “you don’t know where we’re going.”

“Then I’ll just hold your hand.”

Pearl placed her securely back on the top of the steps, and held out her fingers.

Peridot shrugged, and led on.

“So….”

“I’ll tell you when we get there.”

“Ok.”

They didn’t have to keep hidden like they usually did passing through the districts. The crowds were so heavy and the rain so untiring that they could blend into everything else. Pearl had the suit in her gem, but it was always there these days, unless they were working on it in the lab.

The forecast had included, of course, more rain. The good news was that it wasn’t much of a downpour, and there was a chance for clear skies throughout the evening. Patchy clouds. Enough clarity, maybe…. Peridot glanced back at Pearl a moment, then quickly back to the street in front of her. Gems pushed passed them, some laughing, others just chattering. She looked around now and then for the deep shadow that had come upon her in the alley.

Phantom Quartz.

Was she around?

Peridot thought maybe Phantom had gotten bored because of the curfew. What exactly was there to see of them trapped in her tiny apartment?

Either way, it didn’t matter.

Peridot squeezed Pearl’s hand when a few guards passed them. The former servant gem made no show of minding them, but gave a nod to the guards as they passed. They hadn’t even noticed either gem, being tall, broad-shouldered, and focused on more important things than a technician and her servant.

Peridot was reminded of the anxiety she felt during her talk with Phantom.

_You must care about her. A lot._

Peridot made a stifled, distressed sound, and Pearl paused.

“Everything alright?”

Peridot didn’t turn around, just gave Pearl another squeeze, and nodded.

An hour into their travels, and Pearl had started light conversation. She seemed to be fishing for details about Peridot, and the other was so surprised that she answered without filter.

“I was top of my class, but then realized quickly what an error that was.”

“Why should that be a problem?”

“You should know better than anyone how important it is to not stand out.”

“But I’m a pearl. A peridot who stands out…”

“I wouldn’t be able to do what I want,” Peridot rolled her eyes out of view, “I feel like we have this same conversation. Often.”

“We do, don’t we? But maybe that’s not…you’re just so clever, you know? It amazes me.” Pearl said it without any of the fawning reverence she had when they first met. Not that Pearl had ever been insincere. She was always quite sincere with how she felt. Just no so much with information.

“Yeah, well,” Peridot blushed, “sure.”

Pearl had let go of her hand quite some time ago, so the other was surprised when there was a gentle press over her shoulder. 

“I have this feeling that I used to get…” Pearl kept her expression free of clues, “You know, Small Lady, I don’t care where we go. We could go anywhere and it wouldn’t matter.”

Peridot kept walking, hurrying some now because she wanted make sure they could have a chance at seeing the ceremony. But Pearl’s words were messy and distracting.

“Doesn’t matter?” The technician shot her what seemed like second-hand embarrassment.

Pearl laughed, and it was muffled under her hand, “because I’m with you.”

“Well if you’re with me, it means we’re going somewhere for a reason. Please don’t insult me by ever thinking I wouldn’t have a plan.”

“Of course not.”

“Good.”

The moment was punctuated by a split in the road, and some commotion down the much narrower path. There were a few gems working out of large shipping containers, herding out some lower class gems into the back of a run-down factory. It was mostly just one gem making all the noise, speaking loudly to another worker, complaining about having to work on that particular evening. The technician and pearl looked at each other, and decided it was best to not go down that particular way. It wasn’t anything immediately threatening, but there was definitely something not right.

Still about twenty feet away from the scene, they had just about turned down the other way when something grabbed hold of Peridot’s cloak.

“….” She nearly screeched, but then realized what it was.

An amber.

Pearl had seized up, while Peridot was already shoving the other gem away, unperturbed.

“Ugh. Must have gotten away from-” Peridot had peeled off the very soft hands of the dimly glowing gem, but paused when she noticed the startled look in Pearl’s eyes.

“It’s just an amber,” She started, trying to sound reassuring. Had Pearl never seen one?

“She…she doesn’t have mouth.” Pearl unconsciously brought her fingers to her own, as if she didn’t, for a moment, believe what she was seeing. 

“Why would an amber need a mouth?” Peridot was trying to shoo away the hunched stranger, who was still pawing very feebly at her clothes.

Pearl gave Peridot a pained expression.

It reminded Peridot of that day in the hangar. That look Pearl had given Dark Emerald before the idiot elite left her for good.

She thought about it a little harder than she had before, and turned back to the amber with suddenly more understanding than she was willing to accept.

The amber was on the ground now, slight frame quivering on its knees. Its eyes were pleading, to the ground, then to peridot, then even to Pearl.

“…what does it want?” But Peridot already knew the answer.

It kept shaking its head.

“I’ve- I’ve never seen an amber. Not like this. I remember in the days… before it became popular… oh.” Pearl couldn’t seem to help it anymore and leaned down to the amber’s level. She took one of its hands, touched the side of its face, looked into its deep-set, almost hollow eyes.

“I’m sorry.” She said it so quietly, and full of something that Peridot thought may have been guilt.

“HEY! HEEEEY.”

The brutish tone startled all three of them, and a gangly titanite had rushed over to yank the amber up from the sidewalk.

“This is my shipment, and I’ll have none of my goods in the hands of thieves!”

“We’re not thieves-” Pearl got up from the ground, throwing up her hands. Peridot got in front of her and waved her off.

“We’re just passing through.” She crossed her arms, hoping that was adding to some effect of authority.

The titanite, terrified amber now in her clutches, eyed the two quickly, “you let your pearl speak like that?”

It really had nothing to do with anything, but Peridot could play that game.

“You let your “goods” get away like that?” She spat the words empathetically, narrowing her eyes.

The titanite growled, but did nothing more but yank along the amber as she marched back to the alley.

“They let anyone with a pearl these days. What a cheeky peridot!” She was muttering, and the gentle echo of it was interrupted by her screaming at the other workers as she got closer to the factory entrance.

Peridot and Pearl stared until she was out of sight, then exchanged a more empathetic than expected look.

“I’m sorry.” Pearl muttered to the ground. Peridot shrugged.

“Why? That titanite’s a moron.”

“… I didn’t meant to be so startled. By the amber.”

Peridot felt something inside her sink.

“Was there a time…” 

“They had mouths.” Pearl stared off in the direction of the amber, “But I guess after deciding they’re a delicacy, there isn’t much need to make them like you and I.”

“So ambers were like—”

“Any other gem. They’re still laborers, I imagine. So very expendable. But now… then eventually…in the goblet of some elite. Maybe even a diamond.”

Peridot tilted her head in Pearl’s fixated direction. Who ever considered an amber? And yet here Pearl was saying... She never considered they were like other gems. Even pearls had more worth.

The power of a voice changes so much. 

Peridot grabbed Pearl’s hand.

“Come on. Let’s get out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is turning out to be a weird date, and they aren't even at their destination yet! We'll get back to them, don't worry.
> 
> ....Maybe Pearl has some more to say about ambers??? I guess we'll find out....two chapters from now


	28. Serpent Visions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lazuli has been chasing visions

Lapis had dived after them, to the bottom of the underwater ice canyon. She followed the iridescent glimmer of their scales, their massive, serpent bodies navigating the depths deceptively slow. Lapis wanted such limbs. Powerful appendages that ripped through currents with ease. Their bodies, not like a gem, or other inorganic forms that dominated the universe. They were organic.

Yet more intimidating than all her command of the seas.

It had been months courting them, a pair that allowed her to get closer than the others. Not that there were many. But the planet was vast, and it hid many things in its waters, its sheets, and mountains of ice. Lazuli had been here before. Centuries ago, when the temple was still visible from the surface. Now, most of it was swallowed by the sea, the persistent ice. Soon it would be like all the other ruins: lost.

Seven moons aligned somewhere in the universe. Seven Moons illuminating a sunken city.

Where Lapis fought alongside her own, in wars that had nothing to do with diamonds. There were entities back then of a different substance, who traveled in and out of the dimensions of time and understanding. 

Like the dragons. Or, really, the dragons were some kind of result of that now lost prescence.

Lapis had trouble remembering.

Deep in the canyons, where fresh water met a wall of saltwater, Lapis touched the bottom with one foot, then two. She glanced around in the dim lighting, her long hair like an azure halo tangled above her shoulders. It was maybe part of the temple, or maybe something the dragons themselves had made. A hall of ice, massive crystalline structures with sharp edges, glimmering like chandeliers, rising from the freshwater beneath her. 

She listened.

Something nudged her from behind, pushed into her back. Lapis turned, now facing one of them, her hands almost touching its enormous face, a face about the full length of her body. It did nothing for a long few moments, simply looking into her with its bulbous, gray-green eyes. But the closer she looked, the more Lapis could see, there was more than that. Colors. So many, and yet turning black the moment she understood. Constellations? Planets?

The dragon nudged her again, it’s now black eyes more stunning set in its vitreous form. It was fading in and out of shades of green, wavering before her.

 _“You are much older than any diamond.”_ Lapis understood it could hear her thoughts.

_d i a mon ds a r e y o u ng_

_“Tell me then, how something made of blood can live so long?”_

Lapis didn’t wait for its response. She turned to find the second dragon behind her. This one was tinged blue, and its eyes were dull gray. Still bulbous, but lacking the brilliant lustre of the other.

I r r e l e v a nt 

_“Why did you call me here?”_ Lapis realized she wasn’t going to get any confirmation of lore, but that was never the point of this. 

The two serpents exchanged glances, then circled the ocean gem, leaving words in her mind that she couldn’t grasp.

 _T he r u ins ca l l yo u. n o t u s._ The blue dragon snapped at the tail of the green, and the other nudged her again.

Lapis was now completely encircled by their graceful limbs, and both heads loomed above, large snouts unmoving but speaking against her murky vision.

_W e ‘ll d i e fi na lly,_

_B u t n o t be fo re-_

_F o l lowi ng y o u._

_“Why?”_ Was all she managed, feeling as if there was nothing but darkness, as if she were disappearing into this ocean. 

Her response was a blackout.

The feeling did not upset her. 

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Sapphire had a vision.

Surprisingly, not of dragons, or anything that had to do with the lonely water gem warrior.

It was a vision of a strange scene.

A Pearl.

A technician.

Yellow Diamond.

There was too much and too fast, and the image she locked on to was the one most immediately familiar. Yellow Diamond, standing in a grave of gems. Thousands, and thousands of gems.

The Pearl had a sword.

The technician was armed as well, outfitted, it seemed, for battle.

Beyond this vision the scene spanned out into time, and Sapphire didn’t know what was the past, future, or present. There were more figures, unfamiliar to her, but all prepared for war, or fighting one. The diamonds, again, split.

“My lady?” Her closest ruby guard spoke just as the vision faded.

“It’s nothing.” Sapphire must have seem shaken, but she didn’t feel so. She felt…nostalgic?

Her ruby still looked concerned.

“We’ll be near the star system soon. If there’s anything I can do for you until then…” 

“Of course. Thank you, ruby.” Sapphire turned to the long window before them, the expanse of constellations along their route stretching impossible directions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had these damn dragons in mind for this au for a very long time. About their way of communicating: It's telepathic, and this isn't really an ability of Lazuli's. The dragons are kind of what are making the thought communication possible....also...another, unseen force.
> 
> I'm sorry this chapter is short but I'm dying, as usual.
> 
> And is that...OUR Ruby???
> 
> ;)
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO IS STILL READING AFTER SO LONG. BLESS ALL OF YOU. AND I READ EVERY SINGLE COMMENT ON THIS STORY. IF I DON'T REPLY TO SOMEONE IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE NO ENERGY AND FEEL LIKE I'M WASTING EVERYONE'S TIME BECAUSE UPDATES ARE SO DAMN SLOW. I'M SORRY AND I LOVE YOU AND YEAH. CAPS LOCK, OUT.  
> 


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